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This is possibly one of the most useful sections in the forum as it may provide others with the benefits of excellent self help resources. Following, as a starter to this section, are a list of a few

Wow! I've read that quote on a site with different quotes in my mother tongue and then I translated it in English to use it here. Thanks for your willingness .

Any books on Low Frustration? or that at least cover a good chunk?

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about Depressive realism:


I think the most interesting thing is that the author, despite appreciating the experience, still did "heal", even (most probably) wanted to "get back to the illusions", which supports my view that when someone suffering says "but I see the reality as it is, the problem is not in me but in reality", then, despite it being true (which I doubt only in extreme cases, relatively often seen on this forum), it doesn't mean that there is no reason to want to change themselves, as the "truth" (still just very incomplete ) is unnecessarily harmful in many ways, so it's better for them to find a way to, at least partially, ignore (some of) it. ... Hm. I'm not sure if I put it right. In any case, I don't deny "reality" (-society, 'biology', bad luck, ...) being painful and problematic and I don't blame the depressive realists for their condamnation of society etc. (I consider myself being one of them, I'm just lucky not to suffer too much most of the time, probably mainly lately (there have been many hard phases). I can just pretend, when being around people who are not close to me (=not my husband) that I'm cheerful and not pessimistic and not thinking about the world being a disgustingly horrible place with more suffering than any positive / pleasant feelings. And I have the luxury to just survive in a good environment ( = not homeless, not ill, so far), without direct impacts of all the horrors on my everyday life so far.) Sorry for oversharing in an inadequate place (under the wrong topic) :( .


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I post this for the plea in the end as well as an exemple of human incredible (?) stupidity which manifests itself even is such simple everyday things like preparing food and placing an order:


For instance:


I have seen people come to blows over the last box of turkey-shaped butter, and witnessed a breakup started by the simple question, “Green beans or green bean casserole?” I have had to explain to at least four separate people that the reason their turkey didn’t taste good is because they put it in the oven without taking the plastic wrapping off. 


Three days before Thanksgiving, a woman came in and demanded to place an order for Thanksgiving Day. I explained to her that we were past the cut-off point for ordering, but she insisted that she needed accommodation and couldn’t possibly pull off a proper meal in three days’ time. I took pity on her, moved some things around, and forced through an order for a pre-cooked dinner for six. “Can I pick the food up hot on Thanksgiving?” she asked, and I explained, as patiently as I could, that we were filling more than 1,000 orders and just didn’t have the facilities to allow for any food to be picked up hot. It clearly wasn’t her dream scenario, but we agreed that her husband would come pick up her order, cold, two days before the holiday.

On Thanksgiving Day, two days after her husband picked up her order, she called me. In a voice so loud I had to hold the phone an inch away from my ear, she screamed, “My food is cold!” I’m not sure how she imagined the food would be hot when she removed it from her own refrigerator, but she yelled at me for 10 more minutes before eventually hanging up on me.

Besides the stupidity, the sense of 'entitlement' and the 'first-world' nature of these "problems" (of those customers) are so disgusting...

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Oh I know I worked retail many many many years ago and one of the few things I’m truly grateful for in life is that I haven’t had to do that in so very long. It is the absolute worst. Being stuck between a horrible boss and an obnoxious public is completely miserable and hopeless. The only exception would be a young person doing it on summer break or for some other short term objective.  At least they see a little reality up close!  

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On 11/21/2020 at 5:34 PM, LaLa said:

Besides the stupidity, the sense of 'entitlement'

I used to think stories like this were made up until I left home and realized these people do exist and in droves. This is why I have absolutely no desire to live in a large metropolitan area. Retail and public transit act as accelerants for this type of behavior. I’ve worked in both. Stupidity and entitlement with a good dose of parvenu wealth thrown in is a vicious combination and it’s very hard to not want to simply shoot them. 

P.S. I am volunteering at a local church to cook food and work in a kitchen for the homeless. First time I’ve ever done this. Human interaction will be minimal and I can confine myself to doing what I do best - labor. I think this is a good way to spend a holiday if you don’t have any family or the ones you have you can’t stand. They can’t really say anything because you’re doing a good deed. Genuine friends don’t exist and the people we tend to call “friends” will turn into backstabbing worthless cheapshot-taking pieces of shit if there’s women, money, or careers involved so never waste time on them.

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On 12/1/2020 at 6:00 AM, geronimo said:

Impressed that you are volunteering KS, well done.

It was not that bad actually. I stayed in the kitchen area and didn’t really deal with anyone except some older people who were supervising the preparations and were pleasant to deal with. It was exactly my cup of tea...give me something to do and let me do it. 

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