Finally got my hands on my med notes

[Bluerose]

Finally got my hands on my med notes. I went through the pile and got rid of simple bits and pieces like appointment letters, hospital admittance and discharge forms, medication and prescription notes, and daily ward reports ".. is quiet and co-operative, keeps to herself, seems preoccupied, only speaks when spoken to…" This leaves mostly doctors letters; referrals, conclusions and assessments and recommendations etc. After reading through those a couple of times, my overall impression was one of relief - they took me seriously.

[David O]

With notes in hand, what do you do now? What does this mean for you in the long run?

(by the way, this is likely my shortest post ever:eek:)

[SweetSue]

Hey rose

Hmmm, see you caught that editing bug thats going around recently

I understand why you requested to see your medical notes, Ive often considered requesting them myself. but came to the conclusion, that 1 I wouldnt understand all the squiggles (oh docs call it writting ) 2 I really wouldnt understand the terminologies for things. and 3. Is it really worth confusing myself further.

I hope that you feel better knowing that you were taken seriously. oh, btw, I saw what you wrote before the edit, are you ok ?

David, that is not your shortest response ever

take care Rose

[Bluerose]

Hi! David. I have had many diagnoses over the years and never really felt any of them fitted except for the depression. But I believe the depression is the result of the ‘other thing’ whatever it is. They labelled me with schizoaffective disorder for awhile. It was only after being sent for reassessment about two years ago that I found myself back in the mental health system for the first time since the early 90s. I was more relaxed and found the courage to talk more openly.

December just gone I got a copy of the letter the consultant psychiatrist sent to my doctor about my last visit with her, and there it was - Diagnoses: Dissociative Identity Disorder. That was the first time I had ever seen it in writing.

I think the plan now is to go over my records to see if and where it all fits in. It means too that I can feel more comfortable about asking straight questions about DID since it was them who brought it up.

I have also been looking into ‘Spiritual Crisis’. Are you familiar with this term? I have been reading about it and a lot of what goes on is very similar to what goes on in DID; feeling a presence, visions, hearing voices etc. I don’t know enough about it to discuss it but I think I’ll do some reading up on it. If you have any thoughts or information on this I would be grateful. Feel free to ask any questions. I’m doing really well and I’m pretty determined to learn all I can about DID and Spiritual Crisis and compare the two.

If anyone has any thoughts on the similarities of these two ‘conditions’ or lack of, let me know.

[Bluerose]

Hi! Sue,

Lol! Yes. I panicked and thought maybe too much information.

They're not too bad. Daily hospital ward reports were probably the hardest to decipher but I got the gist of it. The important stuff, docs letters, were all typed out. And there were copies of typed stuff that I had given the docs over the years when it was too difficult to talk much. It cost me mind but not that much £30. I thought about asking for them on and off over the years. But I think I felt like you do now, that it might just confuse the hell out of me. I think the time is right now. I'm doing okay and getting older makes us braver about asking for what we want.

Take care.

Hope your weekend is going okay.

[Bluerose]

Okay. As you know I requested a copy of my med note and now have them. After reading through them a few times, I thought I would like to post something else here.

To begin with I was treated for severe depression - acceptable given my upbringing and my dad's suicide.

It seems I'm not someone who wishes to explore my background as it would be counterproductive in that it would disturb my long established coping mechanisms.

It goes on to say -

Somehow she has found the wherewithal to investigate her experience and find a coping style which is remarkably effective... She is clearly someone who has struggled on her own for many years to manage her experiences... She has adopted a remarkably common sense approach and been equally remarkably successful... She has done a lot of research into her difficulties... She gains support from forums on the net where she can discuss her condition anonymously...

Okay. I picked out the more positive bits but isn't that what it's all about - being positive?

I really posted this because I have been in many discussion of late about just how useful and helpful posting on forums can or cannot be. I come down on the side of 'very helpful'.

I began posting about 'my story' a few years ago. Those first few posts were so full of gibberish it's a wonder anyone understood them. But, looking back, I realise how far I have come. And I know I have, for the most part, the internet and forums to thank for that. The amount of information alone at my finger tips is amazing and also amazingly helpful. Then there's the support from others, the advice and the recommendations. I went for reassessment because of someone’s recommendation on a forum. I post this to encourage you all to keep doing what you are doing here because it really does help.

Thank you for letting me share this forum with you all.

[SweetSue]

hey rose

Im pleased your ok.

Have a good whats left of your weekend hun.