Take care best wishes

[Bluerose]

I’m taking a break in order to sort out my med notes and make a note of anything I want to bring up with the psych doc in March. I’ll pop back from time to time to see how you're all doing. Thank you for letting me visit. I hope and pray that you all find the peace you deserve. Take care and best wishes to one and all.

[Symora]

You've brought a lot of wisdom and experience to the forum. Thanks for sharing with us. Cheers!

[finding my way]

Bluerose, thank you so much for your participation here. I look forward to your return!!!

[SweetSue]

Hey Rose,

Try not to work too long into the nights on your medical notes. They can be very confusing :confused: to say the least. And if you have years worth, oh sheeeze Good Luck

Anyway, guess we will see you back in March, till then take care hun

Sue

[seaj]

Bluerose I'm sorry my break away occured while you were here and my start to come back is happening as you are now taking time; unfortunate timing. I really appreciated your posts and will miss you being around.

You make sure you take extra good care of yourself, okay. There's only one beautiful you so take good care of her.

Hope all goes well for you too sweetie.

[Bluerose]

Just popped by to say hello. Couldn’t resist. Notes are all sorted and the one amazing thing that comes to me from reading them is just how far I have come.

This might not mean much to many of you but I still have my doubts about the diagnoses Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). I’ve written some notes for psych doc on this, thankfully she’s really nice and she won‘t mind me questioning this.

I didn’t agree with the last diagnoses either Schizoaffective disorder) and she was great, recommending me to a psychologist who was the one who, in December gone (I only saw him once!), came up with DID diagnoses. I think they are still searching in the dark somewhat. But thanks to the internet and my unquenchable thirst for truth I have gathered so much information I could write a book on this stuff.

My latest interest is in Spiritual Emergence or Spiritual Crisis. This is where people have one or more mystical experiences and, not understanding what’s going it, are frightened by the experience, and might think they are going mad. Well I have seen and heard some strange things and this might explain a lot.

Thank you so very much for all your kind words. I hope everyone is doing okay.

[SweetSue]

Hey Rose

Its good to hear from you, and I hope that your apointment with p/doc goes ok, and that you are keeping well.

Take care

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Bluerose,

You are right, they are all searching in the dark for a diagnosis. You know what my diagnosis is? I think you are suffering from being a human being with a lot of stuff, like we all have and you need a therapist who will allow you to talk about things. How is that for a diagnosis???

Allan:)

[mscat]

It is impressive to see that you are involved in your care and taking notes . I am hoping this helps you on your next appointment with the P/doc. I am familar with DID, because I have an associated disorder , mine is mainly depersonalizatin disorder which I have eposoides of losing control of not knowing or feeling real. I have not personally found anybody who can help me control these symtoms . With DID the personality is split into at least one or 2 different idenities, often it ishard to confirm this diagnosis, so I think it is great that you have a confirmed diagnoses on DID . I hope to see you on this fourm , for your a valuable member .

Cathy

[Bluerose]

Hi Bluerose,

You are right, they are all searching in the dark for a diagnosis. You know what my diagnosis is? I think you are suffering from being a human being with a lot of stuff, like we all have and you need a therapist who will allow you to talk about things. How is that for a diagnosis???

Allan:)

Alan,

Thanks for the diagnosis. I sometimes feel like I would just like to tell someone all about it from beginning to end just once. I don't think it will change anything because this is who I am now. But it can still feel like a trash can needs emptied.

My psych doc sessions are like 45 minutes every six weeks or so. What's the point of opening up. All that happens is I walk out alone onto the street feeling very vulnerable with my heart laying open. It's not worth it. I used to write stuff down but it doesn’t get discussed, it just goes into my file and forgotten.

[Bluerose]

Thanks, Sue and Cathy. xx

[Bluerose]

It's not Religion and it's not Spirituality. Many of us didn't like the word Religion so we decided to use the word Spiritual. But it's not that either. Many of us feel that something is running this show that we call Life On Earth And The Universe. Call it God. Call it Source. Call it whatever you want. But something is definitely going on here.

I personally believe that it has more to do with what is going on within us than it has to do with what is going on outside of us. How I came to these beliefs was through some mystical experiences I had. I'll share one of them here to give you some idea what I mean by mystical experience. I was struggling with depression the result of an abusive childhood and my father's suicide. One night in my early twenties I was feeling particularly low and was in a very distressed state. I'm not a religious person but I asked God to help me. I said, "If there is a God, please help me!" That's when I heard, "We can help you but you must be calm to hear us." Did this help me? No! It didn't! I freaked out even more. It was a few years later and a few more freaky experiences before I was curious enough to want to know what was really going on here.

To begin with I thought it was God and so I attended church for a while but that soon fell by the wayside. I even talked with a priest and some nuns every evening for two weeks. They were very kind and supportive but they had no answers. Eventually I got up the courage to seek out the help of a psychiatrist. Many years and many diagnoses later I'm not convinced that I suffer from a mental illness. The latest diagnoses being Dissociative Identity Disorder. This used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. I do not have Multiple Personality Disorder! Occasionally I suffer from severe bouts of depression and during these times I can become confused and distressed. During these times my mystical experiences get blown out of proportion in my mind and I begin to doubt my own sanity.

Ten years ago I discovered Zen and began to meditate. I wasn't very good at it, doing Zazen (sitting meditation) only when I felt like it. But the seed was sown and eventually something clicked and I realised it was working and I was feeling much more grounded. I began to read books by people like Wayne Dyer, Andrew Cohen, Ken Wilber, Neale Donald Walche, Caroline Myss, Louise Hays, Marianne Williams. I read The Masterkey System, A Course In Miracles, Seth Speaks and more. I felt like I was onto something. I was finding my way back. Today I post on forums and people comment on my wisdom and I know I have all these writers to thank for saving my sanity.

I'm just a wee scottish woman from Glasgow who was married for twenty years and brought up three children and have five grandchildren, a simple woman with some weird and wonderful thoughts and ideas about life and the world she lives in.

Today I made a decision. I have an appointment with psych doc at the end of this month. I’m going to tell her that I don’t need to see her anymore and that I’m fine just the way I am.

This is simply who and what I am, and I’m doing just fine!