Spinning

[Kara_Love]

It feels as though I'm spinning. It wont stop and it's too fast for me to handle. Sometimes I feel like I'll explode. People are screaming, but no ones around. Then I find out I'm screaming. He yells at me for screaming. I scream more. Then I cry. But I wont let him see me cry. I run and run and it feels as though I'm overreacting, but then I realize nothing happened to make me overreact. We were watching television. There was a commercial. I couldn't remember what it was. It just hurt my brain. It was half an hour after that commercial, and I was screaming and crying while running to 7eleven.

I always wondered what was wrong with me. Then I was diagnosed with 3 different disorders. Two of which conflict with each other, I don't quite understand. Bipolar is a lot of extreme swinging emotions, correct? Being a sociopath is someone who does not have extreme emotions, correct?

What the heck.

Oh well. I'm home now, and I'll be fine.

[Symora]

Glad to hear you're home and safe.... Are you feeling more stable now? Have you been prescribed medication for your condition, and if so are you taking them?

[Kara_Love]

I used to be on a lot of different medications, but I took myself off because I lost all feeling. I became a zombie.

[Symora]

I can relate, I just took myself off antidepressant medications as well because I did not like what they did to me. But I really think it depends on what illness you are suffering from. If you are psychophrenic for example, you can't do without medication or else your connection with reality will just fall apart. Are you clear about the choice you are making? Are you putting yourself in danger by getting off medication?

[Kara_Love]

I think so. I'm sure I'll be fine. I seem to be able to keep my job and still be involved with others, so I think I'm fine. I just worry about episodes and how they effect me. Last time, I tried to cut off my hand.