Round One:

[nearlydead]

Myself and others here have all struggled with the thought:

"My penis is too small to please a woman"

I challenged this thought, and asked myself why am I too small, then came up with some arguments to counteract this thought that has beaten me for 30 years. By doing this I beat it, I won, I believe that my penis is big enough to get the job done. Most of it is probably wrong, bullshit, or delusion, but all of it is not TOO far from the truth, which makes it easyier to take on as truth. I still have others negative thoughts and areas of this problem to get over, but beating this one, gives me hope that I can beat some of the others in an effort to move forward.

FEMALE ANATOMY

The vagina is 2 to 4 inches long when aroused and then tents at the back end to stop damage to the cervix. The main areas of focus for stimulation on women is the clitoris, the G spot, the inner and outer lips of the vagina. The vagina expands or contracts to accept whatever is put inside it explaining how they can hold on to a tampon or be stimulated with fingers and tongues, and how they can expand to accept large penis’s, outsize toys, fists or babies. As my penis is only 2” of average, it stands to reason that the difference between the stimulation I can provide Vs the average man is negliable. Certainly less than I beat myself up for.

FEMALE ATTITUDES TO SIZE

From what I have read on forums, studies etc and heard first hand, most women do not care about size. The majority seem happy with their men. Of those who do make a reference to size most have a preference for girth and some like the visual appeal of a large penis. However, this is something that average men have to come to terms with also. There is also the argument that of these women some may of just been angry women having a go. Some may just repeating what they have heard, or repeating stuff because of peer pressure. Some might just like big cocks. However I have also read and heard from many women that large penis’s hurt during sex, and that most women value, personality, technique, etc the whole package rather than just the penis.

PENIS’s

I am only 2” shorter than average and 1” smaller girth than average. The advantages are women find me easier to deepthroat, accept anal, and I can engage them in marathon sex sessions without causing them pain, cystitis or thrush. They can also accept the “whole me” inside them.

Bigger penis’s cause women pain, cannot be taken anally or deep throated as easily as me and cause pain during marathon sex sessions. Being me does have some advantages.

MY REAL WORLD EXPEIRENCE’S

I have slept with roughly 50 women, all of whom came back for more, only one said to my face that I am small but I had sex with her for 6 months. Only 3 have publicly humiliated me, all of whom were under 25 years old and may of had other reasons for attacking me. Of the remaining 46 women maybe 4 more might of told others of my size, but I didn’t hear of it. Of the remaining 41 women most seemed satisfied. I have made women come with my fingers, tongue and by penetration. Out of 45 women none said I was no good, but plenty said I was great. Proof that my penis can do the job.

I came up with loads more than this which is personal to me and not for here. I just put this up here to illustrate just one method of how to change a limiting belief, that worked for me.

[sam2010]

*Nods* I like this, ND. Good work!

[David O]

Excellent post ND!!!!! Few things impress me or are as impressive as the honesty of ones search for truth.

[nearlydead]

"My penis is too small to please a woman"

This phrase was my truth for 30+ years and I would argue you until we were blue in the face, not getting anywhere.

By accepting that I may be wrong, by acknowledging my positive expeirences, and by thinking in shades of grey rather than black and white. Then comming up with semi reasoned logical arguments that have a semblance of truth in them allows me to actually beleive the new mindset is correct and the old mindset was wrong. My new truth's have to be based in a new logic that I can accept. This way I can change my new logic to belief.

Self hate of my penis: I have to beat this inorder for my own happiness and to negate the ridicule of others on me.

I can conciestly stop the negative self hate thoughts. Which is avoidence. But I do not seem to be able to find a logic that allows me to accept my penis as "unique, beautiful, part of me blah blah" Logically I veiw my penis as small, the tape measure cannot lie, it looks small to me, and it looks small to women. It matters to me.

I need a way of thinking about my penis that has an element of truth with which to build a new argument, which I can then believe in as truth.

Im writing this stuff to help put my own thoughts in order, but any ideas are welcome.

[malign]

ND, I heartily agree that BS-ing yourself is useless.

One thing to notice about your first example is that, although thoroughly convinced before that you couldn't please a woman, after challenging that and testing it, you found out that the original thought wasn't even correct. But you would have argued that it was, because you had faith, though it was misplaced.

Maybe we're in a similar position with the second one?

So, okay, maybe it's small. But you said, unchallenged, "It matters to me." Maybe that's where you have leverage? Why does it matter? Probably because of the fear of ridicule, if I may guess? Perhaps there's a way to build your image of what a man is, that doesn't start with how big he is. There are so many other things that matter, and I know we've listed 'em to you until you're sick of hearing. ;-)

But just for instance: if you heard of a man who beat his wife, who hurt his children, who lied and cheated and whatever, would you ask his penis size? So, when you meet a man who tries to make an honest living, who is kind and gentle and courageous and so on, why does all that go out the window when someone tells people publicly that he's small? If he knows his true worth, it won't even faze him ...

[nearlydead]

I see myself as basically a good man, if not a successful man. My penis represents me as a sexual man. Even though I know size is not that important in pleasing a woman, I still feel that as a man with a small penis, I have something to be ashamed of, no man would want a small penis. I feel shame when I show anyone my penis because of its size, Im not explaining this very well. But I feel embarresed to show it, and shame thinking about it because of its size.

The other side of the coin from being outed in public to peers is the sympathy comments that I have had from women who I have slept with, along the lines of "Ahh!! youve only got a little one, poor you" this type of comment hurts just as much, even though they think they are being caring. It validates that something is wrong ie size.

[IrmaJean]

These are feelings that you have expressed many times before, your shame associated with this. And the challenge being again how to lessen your shame. Your penis will not change, but you need to change how you feel about it in order to ease this shame. You mention needing a new way of thinking about it. You've written of finding the positives during acts of intimacy. Maybe try and shift your focus to the positive aspects of this. It does have the ability to give you and others pleasure, doesn't it? That can be a powerful thing.