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Anxiety, OCD something IDK


hello9

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I've posted here before and I haven't really fixed my problem. Well to start off I'm pretty sure I've had attention problem my whole life and I'm really slopply lazy and all the other stuff that has to do with ADHD. The problem is that I'm always finding ways to be socially akward or annoy myself all the time. Like this is my typical thinking when I'm leaving the house "I'm going to go to the bus stop and since I can't help it I'm going to dart my eyes around and follow the cars with my eyes since I can't help it. On the bus I will not be able to stop the socially akward moments since I always create them and I'm sure they will happen." It's like I've made myself sure all these bad things are going to happen like it's imprinted and there's no way that I can stop them. Now my eyes are really sensative to driving cars because I'm sure that I can't help it and I will follow the cars with my eyes because I'm sure I can't help it. What's worse is that I'm sensative while walking down the street and I'll follow people with my eyes and make them anxious (in turn making me more anxious). It's like it's implanted there and I can't do anything about it. Now if I watch a window while it is in motion (a car or bus driving) I will always lose my attention and follow objects with my eyes because I feel like I can't help it and what I'm doing is really weird and socially akward.

So what is my problem ADD, ADHD, OCD? something else? This problem is really all I think about these days and I've given up trying to block out thinking about it. Will ADHD brain stimulant medication worsen my condition? I'm not sure what the problem is so can someone please help. I can't even site across someone in the subway system anymore since I'm so sure that we are going to get into a akward situation.

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