Small Penis Syndrome & Body Dysmorphic Disorder

[LostSerenity]

Don't know whether this post should be here or in the anxiety forum...

I have a bad case of small penis syndrome, and unlike most men that they say have this, I actually have a small one. It's progressed(ing) to Body Dysmorphic Disorder, as it's now both affecting and effecting EVERYTHING I do. I can't do or think anything without the toxic self-shame and self-pity creeping into my thoughts.

I'm approaching the point of hopelessness. I'm still functioning work & school wise fine. Socially I've become a recluse. I can feel myself slipping farther down that downward spiral, and I can't - or lack the strength at this point - to stop the downward trend.

Anyone have any suggestions on what type of therapy is best? Anything?

At this point, I'm at wits end. I've opened up my deepest shame.... I've no clue where to go from the point I'm at and no idea how to get there, unless it's down.

[xaq75]

I think I have something like BDD but have been tenuously diagnosed with AvPD, was reffered to do some CBT but they reffered me to the Psychotherapy centre and so i'm waiting on them now.

BTW, plenty of woman actually prefer a smaller penis. This issue is kinda like men with breast size IMO, a lot of woman seem to think that men prefer bigger ones and that men are obsessed with them. Which as far as I kow isn't true. Personally I prefer smaller breasts if I'm into them at all but it really doens't make any difference. Of coarse some men really are into big breasts in a ... well, a big way. Same with woman. They'll be some woman that are heavily into huge penis and arn't happy with anything else.

[Mark]

LostSerenity,

Interesting question you raise.

Many people try to address this sort of issue in a physical way via plastic surgery. I'm honestly not sure what is available, but those surgeons are clever folks and I wouldn't be surprised if they have something to offer people who have this complaint.

My own sense, being a man, but having talked with some women about this sort of thing, is that women do have preferences about size, and some do prefer larger penises, but not all women express this preference. Many women don't seem to be able to have an orgasm purely with penetration - they require clitoral stimulation, which can be accomplished digitally, orally, or via "grinding" of one pelvis into another (for lack of a better phrase ). Penis size doesn't have much to do with a man's ability to provide this stimulation. Indeed, many women who are lesbians have a fine sex life without reference to any penises at all. Apparently, the feeling of being "filled up" is important to some women, and depending on the woman, that may require a larger penis to accomplish. Even if this is the case, this doesn't mean that you are necessarily therefore an incompetent lover.

You just aren't ever going to be attractive to all people all of the time.

I know there are men who have a physical type and/or fixation - they only date thin blonds, or only date women with big breasts. There must be women who are similar in their tastes. I think part of the solution to the issue is just accepting that these people are out there, and if they don't want to be with you; so be it. Just as is the case with dating, it is important to understand that rejection is part of the process of finding a satisfying partner, and learning how to accept rejection so as to move forward to the next opportunity which might work out better.

which brings me to some ideas about what sort of therapy might best help someone who has your issues. My immediate thought is Cognitive Therapy (which might help you realistically examine and debunk the beliefs in your own inadequacy that are driving you to feel bad about yourself and become depressed). Cognitive Therapy has been adapted for Eating Disorders where there are also body dysmorphic issues to address, and these techniques (for addressing that body dysmorphic issue) would be known to a competent CT practitioner.

Hope this helps.

Mark