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Why Me????


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They say you cant make a person love you well i found out thats true. My wife can't stand me because i be having to many emotional breakdowns. My kids are slowly pulling away from me and there 5 and 7. i just dont know what to do and im going crazy. i cant stop crying half of the time i dont know why im crying. what the hell is wrong with me why is my emotions so messed up.my love for my wife is to much and i think thats scaring her as well. what i dont understand is why a man that loves so much at the sametime is hurting everyone so bad. Please someone out there let me hear you just want your thoughts on it.....

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Hi Troubledperson

Its hard when I become overwhelmed by emotions, to see clearly just what is truely happening around me. I know what its like to be crying all the time, sometimes its justified in my mind, yet at others Im crying for no apparent reason. Thats when I reach out for help, just as you have done here.

Maybe the hurt and upset that you are feeling is clouding the things that you see going on around you too ?

Sometimes it helps me to do yoga or meditation, it calms me down enough to be able to take a step back from myself, and look at things from a different perspective. It took me a while to learn to be able to do this, but it does help.

It may be possible that your wife is just concerned and worried about you. Have you tried to just have a heart to heart, and calmly explaining whats going on for you ? It might help, if you both know truely how the other is feeling.

Are you currently recieving help from your Doctor or a Therapist ? If not it might be a good idea.

Hope today is kind to you

Take care

Edited by SweetSue
forgot something (oops)
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Good morning Troubled,

This must be extremely painful, to feel a loss of control and also feel as if everything you care about is slipping thru your fingers. My heart goes out to you, especially knowing that my 1st marriage collapsed b/c the same thing happened, although in this case it was my wife's illness (Bipolar Disorder) plus my immaturity that did it in.

Troubled, on a scale of 1 -10 (1=very low and 10= extremely high), what score what you give the following descriptors about where you are:

(1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).

(2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)

(3) significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

(4) insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

(5) psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)

(6) fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

(7) feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

(8) diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

(9) recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

If you responded to the above with a >5 score in 5 categories and have been experiencing these things for >2 weeks, you should see a clinician (your MD, a psychologist or psychiatrist) as quickly as possible. In addition, I think Sue's advice above is very sound and worth considering.

Troubled, please don't wait as this may cause further harm to your relationships and even hurt your employment and life.

Good luck and I hope this helps,

David

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Hi Troubled

This is just a ps because Sue and David O's are right on.

My daughter pulls away from me when I cry, simply because she does not want to see her mother cry. Some times (in one of my crying cycles) she will say things, which I think are not nice or she shouldn't say and when I think about it, it still goes back to seeing her parent cry. I think a lot that she doesn't want to be bothered, but that is not it. It is seeing someone that raised you (the wise and good parent and all the adjetives(sp) that goes with being a parent) perform in an abnormal way. They are not used to seeing that.

Please get some help, right away. At least they will see you trying to do something positive about it.

Best wishes,

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  • 1 month later...

For what it's worth, I can absolutely relate to the feelings you are expressing, Troubled. It's so hard to see someone you love pull away from you -- for me, I just cling on even harder, which makes it hurt all the more when the other person does not reciprocate.

Sometimes, I find some benefit from just taking a break...when I feel so overwhelmed by my emotions, feel like my heart is breaking, I walk away -- sit outside in the sun, take a walk, read a book. Just do something until I feel like I can get my emotions under control and not pour them out onto the other person. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now.

I agree with the others who have responded -- there is help out there if you look for it. I hope you do seek it out.

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