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Is this actually normal?


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Hi, I´m here again with this friend stuff, one hour ago he just asked over text message : "does it get rude of me to ask if you would go out with me in town (as a friend ) ".

I haven´t answered him, don´t know what to say.

I know he is a RED FLAG being friend of my ex abuser and I got introduced to him by my ex abuser, I don´t forget that. My question is : let´s say this guy wasn´t my ex abusers friend, but a friend of a normal male friend, is it really normal of this friend to ask a woman ( me) to go out with him when I doesn´t even know him? just like that?

Wouldn´t it be more normal to ask me out "together" with his circle of friends?

I have an opinion that if a stranger, a male ask a woman to go out with him, even as friends, it would feel a bit weird or wrong. It feels like a date. I am old fashioned and don´t want to be seen as I´m dating him, because I know that my ex abusers friends are all from Turkey and they talk with once and probably serve lies, I have experiences this before, they look at each other in town and it seems like they make up their own thoughts, oh he has a woman or god knows what they think, so I have to be careful. I feel very uncomfortable and don´t know what to say.

And would any of you here ( woman) say yes to someone you don´t know and not even like at all? I have had thoughts I would like to say I have found a boyfriend so no I´m sorry, but he knows I don´t have boyfriend and that I have said I don´t want a boyfriend, so that would be an obvious lie.

Edited by sadgreeneyes
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Hi sadgreeneyes :)


If you do not like thiis person, and do not want to get to know him, why would you want to meet up with him ?

However if you would like to get to know this person as a friend, then just suggest to him that you would feel more comfortable meeting up with him as part of a group of friends. Im sure that this person would understand.

It is your right as a person to choose who you spend your time with. :)

Hope this helps a llittle

Take care

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Thank you SweetSue,

you saved me, you gave me a perfect answer to give him, to meet as a part of a group:)

I don´t want to meet this person, but I am codependent with certain people, I feel lonely all the time and sometimes I need to have some connection to the world out there. I agree though, one should never do something you don´t want to do.

You gave me a way out of it meeting him alone, I am released, why didn´t I think about saying the same to him what I was thinking in my questions and what you say to me here, meeting in group, circle of friends. That is great, now I know what to say.

If he doesn´t respect that I think he is very clear showing his agenda.



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