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Is this actually normal?


sadgreeneyes
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Hi, I´m here again with this friend stuff, one hour ago he just asked over text message : "does it get rude of me to ask if you would go out with me in town (as a friend ) ".

I haven´t answered him, don´t know what to say.

I know he is a RED FLAG being friend of my ex abuser and I got introduced to him by my ex abuser, I don´t forget that. My question is : let´s say this guy wasn´t my ex abusers friend, but a friend of a normal male friend, is it really normal of this friend to ask a woman ( me) to go out with him when I doesn´t even know him? just like that?

Wouldn´t it be more normal to ask me out "together" with his circle of friends?

I have an opinion that if a stranger, a male ask a woman to go out with him, even as friends, it would feel a bit weird or wrong. It feels like a date. I am old fashioned and don´t want to be seen as I´m dating him, because I know that my ex abusers friends are all from Turkey and they talk with once and probably serve lies, I have experiences this before, they look at each other in town and it seems like they make up their own thoughts, oh he has a woman or god knows what they think, so I have to be careful. I feel very uncomfortable and don´t know what to say.

And would any of you here ( woman) say yes to someone you don´t know and not even like at all? I have had thoughts I would like to say I have found a boyfriend so no I´m sorry, but he knows I don´t have boyfriend and that I have said I don´t want a boyfriend, so that would be an obvious lie.

Edited by sadgreeneyes
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Hi sadgreeneyes :)

NEVER AGREE TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE DOING !!!

If you do not like thiis person, and do not want to get to know him, why would you want to meet up with him ?

However if you would like to get to know this person as a friend, then just suggest to him that you would feel more comfortable meeting up with him as part of a group of friends. Im sure that this person would understand.

It is your right as a person to choose who you spend your time with. :)

Hope this helps a llittle

Take care

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Thank you SweetSue,

you saved me, you gave me a perfect answer to give him, to meet as a part of a group:)

I don´t want to meet this person, but I am codependent with certain people, I feel lonely all the time and sometimes I need to have some connection to the world out there. I agree though, one should never do something you don´t want to do.

You gave me a way out of it meeting him alone, I am released, why didn´t I think about saying the same to him what I was thinking in my questions and what you say to me here, meeting in group, circle of friends. That is great, now I know what to say.

If he doesn´t respect that I think he is very clear showing his agenda.

Hugs,

GreenEyes

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