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33 year old virgin. How to deal?

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Bullied and picked on as a child, I have never been someone who had a lot of friends. Most of my time is spent alone. I rarely go anywhere or do anything. I have never had a romantic relationship. The few guys that were interested, I quickly pushed them away. I am at a point in my life where I am realizing that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life, but I just can’t bring myself to let the walls down that have guarded me for so long. What do I do?

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Maturation doesn't stop in your teen years - it continues throughout life. If you've missed an important milestone in your development as a woman, due to abuse and bullying or whathaveyou, that doesn't mean that you cannot do a course change now and go in the direction you want. What is holding you back would be a lack of belief in yourself, fear and shame (for starters anyway). Change will mean learning to confront your fears, and that will involve some pain (anxiety pain - not physical pain), but not as much pain as you might think.

Generally, it is helpful to have a guide to help you through developmental crises of which you are in one. As a child we have parents and older peers, but as an isolated adult, your best bet might be a psychotherapist. Have you had any experience with psychotherapy? Maybe if you could talk about what you've done to work on solving your lonliness and isolation problem (becuase that is what it is - not a sex problem but an isolation and lonliness problem) in the past, that would help us come up with some ideas.


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