Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Anyone else Adopted??


Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

I was just wndering if anyone else on here is Adopted as well. I have found myself more so thinking about it more now that I'm an adult then ever before, I hate the feeling of not knowing my background/culture and I feel like I will never be complete until I have the answers.. but that may takes years, lifetime.. may not even happen.. It makes me angry now because I feel like I just don't fit in again, like when I was younger.. these feelings are all resurfacing and I just wish I could talk to someone who understands.. I hate wishing that I wasn't here, or had another life growing up.. Why can't I just accept my childhood/deal with whats going on now.. There's just too many thoughts..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Forget, There are a few people who are also dealing with this in the forum and I'm sure they'll chime in when they drop in... Some have talked about about this topic on some other threads, you may want to do a little searching and see if they offer some useful insights on the subject...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Forget,

I too am adopted, and understand the feelings you are having. I know exactly what you mean about feeling as if you are not complete, a part of you is missing, a void, wondering why, feeling as though I don't fit in, afraid people will leave, not getting close/ difficult to make friends for fear they will leave, feeling like I don't have the family roots/hearitage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I grew up in a foster home , never been fully adopted . I understand the feelings of not fitting in quite well, it has haunted me all my life. Even though eventually I did make contact with my biological family it was bittersweet. Knowing that my my bio brothers are messed up , really hurts , and burying my bio father hurt worse .

The feelings never go away and their are still so many unanswered questions , but I'll never forget and always cherish the time I had with my bio father , my bio mother is a drunk and we just could not connect well at all.

WHat I learned is that you got to make your own connections , and bring a circle of friends into your life that u can share and have good times with.

I am personally working on this myself , because their are difficult times and very lonely feelings I have to work on myself despite being now close to one one of my biological brothers .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everyone.

I'm happy people responded.. and it's good to know that we are not alone with these feelings.. life is already hard enough as it is.. and I personally think that this issue has just made it harder for me.. and John yes that would be a really good idea if you could set that support group up..

I just don't understand how my family can't see that as an issue at all.. Maybe they can't because they were lucky enough to have family surrounding them growing up.. knowing their roots/having aCCess to their med history/whatever..

There are so many issues with my mother going on right now, there has been for over 8 years.. and it's times like these where I just wish I could talk to my birth family.. ughh..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

support group sounds good:

I know the feelings of wanting to talk/meet bio-parents, - the wondering if they may have been too young to be parents ect. .... But sometimes it is better to leave them in our imagination, sometimes getting to talk to them is even more painful, especially if they reject all over again... Mine did!

I was given away as a young child, I have a few memories of bio-mother, She gave me away and kept the 2 youngest. At the time she was getting married- and chose a man over me.

I had spoken with her sisters who confirmed.

When I tracked her down she was reluctant to talk with me, I had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and needed medical info. She felt no remorse for giving me away, did not want me to contact my 2 bio-siblings, and informed me that bio-father was in prision for attempt rape of a 14yr old girl.

she rejected me twice, I felt as though the wound of abandonment was even more painful. as though i should have left it alone, now not only had she rejected me again, I had to deal with feelings concerning my bio-father. Not wanting to say anything to anyone due to embarassment of his actions and what might someone think.

I had struggled with feelings from my adoptive parents and some abusive behavor, and then add bio-parents and multiple sclerosis on top of it,,,,,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gentlefolks :)

I don't know if you're aware, but you can set up separate groups right here on Mentalhelp.net. You'll get a separate forum that works just like this one and you can start threads on all the different aspects of Adoption. There may even be one already, don't know. I think they're called "social groups" but it needn't be "social".

Part of the reason I'm letting you know about this is for the multitude of 'guests' we have here, who read but don't register. There are a lot of people out there who are just too shy or have other reasons for not wanting to come forward. In this way they could see that there is a club and then probably register and join. (I don't think you can join groups without being a member.)

And of course, it means you have that group right here (at 'home'. :) )

If you go to malign's profile you'll see he has set up a group - I'm not sure how you do it, but I'm sure one of you can find the option. :) - probably on the User CP(?)

Your decision, of course. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Adopted here too!

I can see from your posts that like others it is nice to know that our feelings are close to the same.... However, I was lucky to never loose contact for a long time with my Bio Family.... Was in Foster care from 9 months ... until adopted at 12... then at 14... I made them reverse the adoption and moved in with my Bio Mom... THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE! Even though I loved her dearly... ( she passed last year) she had not changed. She was still the same selfish self- centered person she always was.... Ran away from there and got married to my First Hub at the age of 15... she signed off on it.

My brothers and sisters are all scattered all over the country now , but I talk to some of them on Facebook. V one of the oldest, was adopted at birth and she just found Mom about 8 yrs ago... I live in MS and they live in MD and WV... she was welcomed by Mom and my brothers... but one of my sisters just hates her.

She is very sick, but I am glad she got to meet Mom before she passed......

I grew up with a lady that was never adopted, but lived with my adopted parents all her life. She has never known her birth family and at the age of 50 she still has major issues. I suppose I was blessed to meet my Birth Family... but I think my life would have turned out different if I had not... their lifestyle was so different from the way I was raised. They had / have no morals... and at 14 I just thought that was great!!!!

But yes I will join a group or chat......

Good Morning! JT

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...