I hate myself

[D Dub]

I have a baby dick. How am I supposed to live a normal fulfilling life with this curse following me everywhere. I look in the mirror and there it is. I take a shower and there it is. take a piss and there it is. I'm so small I can barley take a piss. A constant painful reminder everyday that hurts more and more. And then to watch a movie like observe and report where millions of people all over the world laugh histarically cause his dick is tiny. I almost cried when I seen that. Fuck society!

[IrmaJean]

Not everyone is cruel, D dub. It's always unfortunate when people are. I'm sorry that you've been hurt by the cruelty of others. Can you relate more about your life right now? I know you have been feeling down. What aspects of yourself do you like?

[LonelyGuy]

I understand how you feel about it being a constant reminder, I get those same feelings whenever I go to the bathroom and see myself.

[D Dub]

I don't like any aspect of my life right now. No job, no money, no girl friend, I had to move back in with my parents which really sucks but i'm grateful. I have nothing to do all day but sit and worry about everything. My dad is really close to getting laid off. Then I'll be homeless. I have nothing not even a penis. I want to start drumming again but I can't get motivated. I'm pathetic

[IrmaJean]

D Dub, please be gentle with yourself.

Do any activities give you pleasure? Writing? Reading? Hobbies?

You say you are unemployed. Can you take any steps to find employment? This would be a place to start.

My father was a drummer in his younger days. Maybe you could try to start up playing again?

[nearlydead]

I'm pathetic

Your not pathetic! you just feel that way at the moment.

If you wait until you feel like drumming again, you may be waiting a long time.

Rather than waiting until you feel like drumming, why dont you just do it. The very act of starting something is often the only motivation you need to carry on with it.

You should start again Dub, you said before that you have a talent for it.

[JustTrying]

get over it... there is more to life than sex and the size of your penis..... been married 21 yrs and have not had sex for the last 5...... NOT MY PROBLEM.... the ol man has prostate problems...... but like I said there is more to life than sex...... think about it... is it really that important???? Hope you are a good caring man... many women would kill for that... JT

[nearlydead]

get over it... there is more to life than sex and the size of your penis..... been married 21 yrs and have not had sex for the last 5...... NOT MY PROBLEM.... the ol man has prostate problems...... but like I said there is more to life than sex...... think about it... is it really that important???? Hope you are a good caring man... many women would kill for that... JT

Sand in your vagina?

[IrmaJean]

JT, I think the feelings of the men from these boards aren't about only sex. They are also very much about feelings of low self-worth, something which can be very painful for any of us. I'd really hate to see D Dub hurt any further by insensitive comments.

[Luna-]

JT-

I think saying 'get over it' is way out of line. You could just as well say those with anxiety or depression should 'get over it' too. And those with PTSD or crashing hard after a mania should also 'get over it'. And anorexics and addicts and adoptees. Heck, most of us should just 'get over it' and there'd be no need for this forum to exist.

How is SPS different and how would you know how it feels? I don't understand how your not having had sex with your husband for 5 years has any relevance here? Do you know what you're talking about?

Not to mention, it was just plain cruel to say that.

[David O]

get over it... there is more to life than sex and the size of your penis..... been married 21 yrs and have not had sex for the last 5...... NOT MY PROBLEM.... the ol man has prostate problems...... but like I said there is more to life than sex...... think about it... is it really that important???? Hope you are a good caring man... many women would kill for that... JT

While we're all here to support and encourage each other-- I find your comment to be mean-spirited, callous, over the top and completely discrediting of those who suffer differently than you do. You're here, as a moderator no less, often seeking solace, comfort, understanding and a safe haven where you can express your frustrations, pain and concerns--- and yet, with just a few keystrokes, you would deny the same to someone else.

I'm not sure what your goal was in posting what you said... but whatever it was, the end result was a zero sum gain for those of us who read it.

[malign]

Gabby,

There's a reason for the chorus of outrage that you're hearing, and one of the reasons is that none of us have ever spoken like that to you. Another is that you carry an extra responsibility, as a moderator of this forum. Between those two things, the idea of telling anyone here to just get over it is entirely unacceptable.

If you're having troubles of your own, please post about them if you feel a need to share. But posting anything other than a supportive reply to someone else goes against the entire spirit of this board. It's actually not that difficult even to disagree with someone, and still be supportive of their effort to change.

I would suggest that anyone who can't find something nice to say on a thread, please, don't say anything at all.

[Recluse]

65645645654

[Judgement]

Dear D Dub, hello. =)

I caught up on this thread just moments ago, and I can clarely see the problem you're faced with. I could imagine how it would be like for myself if I walked in your shoes, but I wouldn't dare go as far as say I can understand how you feel. Yet I can see why you are overly critical of yourself and treat yourself so harshly, you feel like this is your fault to a certain extent correct? I am not to say what should be valued more in other people's life, to some people sex might not even be important at all, but to some it is, and having a problem like this constantly haunting you surely isn't helping regardless. I can see this much.

Though I cannot magically turn your life downside-up, I can however try and start somewhere else, as in you being so overly critical with yourself. Tormenting yourself will hardly change where you stand, and I believe you should first and foremost try to ease up on yourself before doing anything reckless.

Your life can take any turn at any moment, try to imagine yourself 10 to 20 years from now, what do you think you would be doing then? I won't tell you to "get together", because I know gathering motivation and the courage to pull through takes a long time, now that I can relate to. But more importantly, all I will tell you to be conscious of is the way you treat yourself, practice easing up on yourself, even if only a little, it's a start!

Regards,

T.M

PS: @Malign: I am no professional, but I hope I fulfilled your criteria of not saying needless commentaries. Despite my lack of wisdom, my intention is to help, however I'm sure this is more than obvious. =]

[lifeless existence]

........................

[Luna-]

D Dub-

You OK?

[Recluse]

5643634654634645

[malign]

Okay, guys, I understand the anger, but let's not let it be an opportunity for name-calling, back at JT. Her words were out of line; let's forget about them and return to what's important, rather than adding more.

[Guest ASchwartz]

I quite agree that we cannot just "get over it." Everyone, please be a little more thoughtful and gentle about the way you say things here. If only it was so easy as to "get over it." People do not suffer by choice, whehter is physical or mental or both.

Allan:(

[lifeless existence]

..........

[IrmaJean]

I'm sorry about today, guys. I'm sorry that people sometimes say insensitive things that are hurtful.

Lifeless, can we continue from where we left off last week? Talking with a purpose in mind to feel better?

D Dub, I hope that you will come back and talk with us.

[lifeless existence]

..........

[David O]

I don't like any aspect of my life right now. No job, no money, no girl friend, I had to move back in with my parents which really sucks but i'm grateful. I have nothing to do all day but sit and worry about everything. My dad is really close to getting laid off. Then I'll be homeless. I have nothing not even a penis. I want to start drumming again but I can't get motivated. I'm pathetic

D Dub,

I'm so very sorry for what you're going through. While I might not completely understand what you're experiencing, I do understand pain and suffering quite well. What we can do, however, is look at your day-to-day life situation-- no job, no home of your own, no money, and the constant worring and ruminations that can be overwheliming and debelitating. Is it possible that if we address these head on, that this might take some of the pressure off and allow you some breathing room and take you partially out of the cellar?

Would you be interested in addressing these things, since they are manageable to a large extent? Please write back, we're here to listen and provide support and encouragement.

With great compassion,

David

[JustTrying]

I have to say... I read back over my post and I was not condescending at all...I was trying to be supportive..... sorry it was took wrong... but now Mark I will have to argue you on your decision.... I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HURT HIM..... I was just pointing out that things in life happen and sometimes you have to get over it....... I did NOT MEAN OR SAY that his concern was not important....... Come on folks get a life... I did not think when I was told that I was mean to someone in this category...... that I would do that ... but I am bipolar and black out sober alot..... but NOOOOO I read what I said and if you all took it wrong... shame on you... I was trying to help him.....JT

[lifeless existence]

I have to say... I read back over my post and I was not condescending at all...I was trying to be supportive..... sorry it was took wrong... but now Mark I will have to argue you on your decision.... I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HURT HIM..... I was just pointing out that things in life happen and sometimes you have to get over it....... I did NOT MEAN OR SAY that his concern was not important....... Come on folks get a life... I did not think when I was told that I was mean to someone in this category...... that I would do that ... but I am bipolar and black out sober alot..... but NOOOOO I read what I said and if you all took it wrong... shame on you... I was trying to help him.....JT

Get a life? Shame on us?