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I hate myself

D Dub

By D Dub
in Small Penis Syndrome

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Mark Senior Member

Mark

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Recluse,

haha, you lost your status as a mod. wahahahaha

Apologize now or I will ban you temporarily. JT did overstep her bounds by leaving an insensitive comment earlier, but you are similarly overstepping your bounds by taunting her. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Yes I know it is satisfying to try to get revenge, particularly when you feel as vulnerable as you do, but it is still inappropriate behavior.

Mark

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danni Senior Member

danni

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I think it's time to take a step back and take a deep breath. As taking shots at others is not helpful and is certainly not compassionate or supportive.

JT... I'm glad your intention was to help and not hurt. But.... perception is equally important. If I say something to another person that they find hurtful, it doesn't matter what I intended, I need to apologize and try to heal the hurt that was a result of my words.

We don't want anybody to feel hurt or anything less than totally supported and safe. I would like to think that those on this board strives to life people up. Now...with all this bickering amongst members of this board, I wonder how hard it would be for D Dub to come back and talk about an issue that is very difficult for him. I hope he will feel safe posting again with the knowledge that there are many that understand what he is going through and many others that may not totally understand but will do their best to empathize and offer as much support as possible.

We don't need to totally understand what each is going through to respect the depth of their pain and respond in the most kind and compassionate way possible. If we are not in a place where we can do that, it's probably better not to post at that time.

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JustTrying Senior Member

JustTrying

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I Have never meant no harm.......like I told someone else.... maybe there are things going on you don't know about.... but like I said I re read my post to him when I said get over it... and that is what I have always been told... I still stand by it..... I was trying to be helpful... his big sister IFM...... was not trying to be mean ... sorry you all took it that way.

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Mark Senior Member

Mark

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Recluse,

I want to see an apology for your own insensitive statement. I don't want you to leave here or feel you need to leave here. There is a huge difference in what I've asked you for and how you are responding. Please consider this, and please do stay. If you do decide you need to leave, no one can stop you, but please consider coming back after you've had time to think on it.

JT

Chill out for a while. Best to not post for a bit. At least not here. These guys need some time to regroup.

Mark

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D Dub Advanced Member

D Dub

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I was not offended by JT's post. I've told myself hundreds of times to just get over it. If I wasn't constintly reminded of it then maybe I could. It's just not that easy. Like JT I'm also bi polar which really makes it alot harder to deal with. It's not all about sex. I didn't even mention sex. That is something I'm struggling with since it's been 5 years for me too. For me it just really hurts because I feel that society in general does not accept men like me. Everybody has things about their body that they don't like. But for this body part it's different. More serious in my opinion. Of course I don't expect everybody to understand what I'm going through. But understand this, if I could just snap my fingers and magically get over it I would not in this forum or never would be. I would have a completely different life. Again it's just not that easy.

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nearlydead Senior Member

nearlydead

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Hi Dub, good to see you back. Why size matters on such a deep level to men is a complete mystery to those who do not suffer from this kind of inadequacy. I dont even understand it myself totally. The impact on us seems to defy reasonable explanation.

My own father had issues with going bald, one of my earliest memorys is my dad attacking a man with a milk bottle, which was apparently caused by some off hand remark about baldness. At 70+ he will still flare at bald jokes.

some women hate bald men, others love them.

If my father was to find out that the reason I had wasted my life on such a stupid problem as my penis size he would laugh his self silly. Just as I do when I hear people get so angry about baldness, being short, being black, being white, being christain, or being muslim.

The one thing I have noticed amongst all of us, is that being small is "somehow special" and bigger than other peoples problems. For me, I read people as bi polar, being depressed because their wife left them, or depressed because of work etc, and I think "get over it" because nothing they have gone through cannot be changed. We are stuck with a phsyical disadvantage that cannot be changed so our problem is real, whereas others problems are not so real.

from reading the disfigurement forums, there is a definate link between having a real phsyical disfigurement and the amount of mental pain caused to the indivdual. Probably because we have something tangible to focus on. I havent looked at my penis for over a month, but I am still struggling with the hate of it.

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nearlydead Senior Member

nearlydead

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This is why I feel completely hopeless. Everybody has flaws, but flaws with other parts of the body aren't much of an issue. We're flawed in one of, if not the only, male body part in which flaws are just not acceptable, especially our specific flaw - being too small. And it can't be changed. How comforting it would be to have a "regular" flaw that is fixable and to be able to take steps to correct it. But we're trapped. We can't do anything about our flaw. To be unacceptable because of your penis and to not be able to fix it and to know what the rest of your life will be like because of it......it's the worst feeling in the world. I can't even remember the last time a day went by without me wanting to die. I wish it would happen right now.

I know where you are comming from with this as I would of agreed with you 100% in the past. But I know from personal expeirence you are wrong in your assumption that "our specific flaw is unacceptable to women" Every single woman I have slept with has come back for more. I've had great sex and made women orgasm from penetration with my little cock. No woman has every finished a relationship with me because of my size or impotence.

I know we can site the UCLA, forum posts, various tv and press articules pointing to evidence that size does matter, and those that say size does not matter. But I have yet to see an articule that says women regard a small penis as "totally unacceptable" or a total dealbreaker. The idea that your size is "unacceptable to women" is your opinion, not immutable fact. When I thought as you do, I would be the first to site the evidence from UCLA, etc in support of the "small is unacceptable and not fit for purpose" argument, while totally ignoring the positive evidence to the contrary. Now I choose to acknowledge the positive arguments and discount or downplay the negative. However I do recognise I have the benefit of some positive expeirence with women. Im not haveing a go at you LL, Im just trying to present a different perspective.

I live in a town which is home to 3 Commando, the town is full of young men who are missing arms and legs from action in Afghanistan. Yet they seem to be getting on with thier lives, even though they are facing real adversity with phsyical disfigurements.

My penis is not missing, its just 1" shorter than the average, and because of that I have allowed it to ruin my life to date. At the moment it is this thought that is making me feel the most stupid, angry, guilty. Compared with the Afghan heroes, I have little to worry about, perfectly represented with my little cock.

Like david o said "we choose our poison"

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nearlydead Senior Member

nearlydead

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What about all of the other flaws that I can't fix

You have a pretty low opinion of yourself, focussing on your flaws, yet you have never aknowledged your good points (your intellegence, your debating skills, your ability to share emotion blah blah, Irmas always pointing out that stuff) Give yourself a break.

We have both used the argument "I cant change my penis, so whats the point of doing/trying/achieveing anything" I've used that argument to avoid relationships, not work, not sutdy and to avoid any and all hardships. Its a good argument in that it is one of the few body parts that cannot be improved on by surgery or drugs. We are physically stuck with it, just like amputees or the disfigured. But even those guys have more phsyical options than us. Which brings us back to the old argument. the only thing we can change is how we think about our size and its effects on our lives.

Just by mentioning all your other flaws, you acknowledge that your penis is only a part of your problems (its an important part, but only a part of the big picture)

I take it that when you say "I cant fix" you mean you as a person cannot fix these things, as in you dont have confidence in your own abilities to help yourself. The reason I say this is because any of our personality disorders such as laziness, anger, procrastination etc can be changed, and nearly all our physical imperfections can be cured, getting fit, hair plugs, plastic surgery, botox, face lifts (I think about this shit, Im old;) )

List your flaws, and have an honest look at them and then list the ones that you or someone else could change for the better. Little battles, you cannot deny I have made progress since I first posted here. Small changes is how I started it. You have nothing to lose, do you?

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nearlydead Senior Member

nearlydead

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I don't feel comfortable putting everything on here like that. Besides, this is D Dub's thread.

I understand what you are saying. I PM'ed you last night, thinking the same thing.

DDub, sorry about hijacking your thread. none of us seem to have any discipline when it comes to keeping threads "on topic". Im sure you recognise just how many issues we all have in common with this thing, so hopefully any advice, thoughts, rants etc hopefully have some meaning for you too.

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D Dub Advanced Member

D Dub

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Well ND and myself are in two different worlds because I would litterally take somebodies life to only a inch less then average. I'm probably about six inches from average. Man I really hate myself and society.

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Guest ASchwartz

Guest ASchwartz

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To everyone,

If you cannot change a body part, why can't you change the way you think about your body?

Comments?

Allan

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