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need help with my eating disorder


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I know that resisting the urges is difficult, very difficult. You should be very proud of yourself for having the strength to resist and move on .... With time your eating patterns will change and it will be easier,. I found that about quitting smoking. It was part of who I was for 40 years, that's a long time to be so dependent on something that was nasty for me. Now, 8 month later I still have urges, but I have changed and I know how to handle them better. May it be so for you as well....

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What do you usually do?

Ethnicgirl, I understand how difficult it is, once the urges grip you. But seriously, every minute, every time, it's your decision. Something triggers you, you get urges, you either act on them or you don't, you calm down somehow, and then you're fine until another trigger.

You're not going to stop getting triggered by asking what to do after it happens. There are things you can do when you're triggered, but I know you've already heard some of them. Now it's your choice whether to use them.

But it's also your choice what to do to stop the triggers from getting to you, in the first place. The problem is, that work can be harder, because you have to do it while you still feel okay. You have to pay attention to what triggers you, to what thoughts follow that, to what else you can do when they happen. Or not; this part is your choice, too.

But you have to realize that if you don't work on that part, then getting triggered is the inevitable result.

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What do you usually do?

Ethnicgirl, I understand how difficult it is, once the urges grip you. But seriously, every minute, every time, it's your decision. Something triggers you, you get urges, you either act on them or you don't, you calm down somehow, and then you're fine until another trigger.

You're not going to stop getting triggered by asking what to do after it happens. There are things you can do when you're triggered, but I know you've already heard some of them. Now it's your choice whether to use them.

But it's also your choice what to do to stop the triggers from getting to you, in the first place. The problem is, that work can be harder, because you have to do it while you still feel okay. You have to pay attention to what triggers you, to what thoughts follow that, to what else you can do when they happen. Or not; this part is your choice, too.

But you have to realize that if you don't work on that part, then getting triggered is the inevitable result.

ok i usually dance or sing or write stories in a journal or watch fav movie to calm down , i know ill post later my known triggers an what do while in that panic mode,when triggred i could look at the list,i try tro breathe mainly and think postitive thoughts

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Positive thoughts are helpful.

The most important thing is to catch yourself thinking negative thoughts when you're triggered, and substitute positive ones. Did something happen this evening to get you started?

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Positive thoughts are helpful.

The most important thing is to catch yourself thinking negative thoughts when you're triggered, and substitute positive ones. Did something happen this evening to get you started?

yes , i got triggred with school stress im about to graduate and i had to hand in a big point paper in late.and life getting me down.im so depressed lately sometimes i think of death

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Well, I understand. My senior year in high school was very stressful, too. I almost didn't graduate with my class, despite going into the year an 'A' student. Made me think about death, too, if I remember that far back. :-)

And I wonder, what do you think about death? When I was your age, I was mostly angry at people, especially my family, and I would imagine how sad they'd be if I was gone. Later in life, when I thought about it, it was mostly to make myself see that I needed to change something. I guess what I'm saying is, for me, neither time did I really want to die. It was just a way to get to feelings that I had a hard time putting into words (hard as that might be to imagine, reading all of these.) ;-)

The thing is, purging or cutting really won't make your school life any easier. Would it make sense to try to think of other ways to cope with stress? It would still be your choice which one you do, but having more options available can only help you.

You've mentioned some good ones; I like to write, and now that I'm older and I've actually tried it, I like to draw, sometimes. Singing, too, but I only do that alone, by agreement with my potential audiences. ;-) Do you have any friends that you can hang out with, and talk to? Just one good friend can be a big help.

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Well, I understand. My senior year in high school was very stressful, too. I almost didn't graduate with my class, despite going into the year an 'A' student. Made me think about death, too, if I remember that far back. :-)

And I wonder, what do you think about death? When I was your age, I was mostly angry at people, especially my family, and I would imagine how sad they'd be if I was gone. Later in life, when I thought about it, it was mostly to make myself see that I needed to change something. I guess what I'm saying is, for me, neither time did I really want to die. It was just a way to get to feelings that I had a hard time putting into words (hard as that might be to imagine, reading all of these.) ;-)

The thing is, purging or cutting really won't make your school life any easier. Would it make sense to try to think of other ways to cope with stress? It would still be your choice which one you do, but having more options available can only help you.

You've mentioned some good ones; I like to write, and now that I'm older and I've actually tried it, I like to draw, sometimes. Singing, too, but I only do that alone, by agreement with my potential audiences. ;-) Do you have any friends that you can hang out with, and talk to? Just one good friend can be a big help.

just about like what dying would be like ,im not sucidal. and yes i do have great friends,and yes there other healthier options with ways to cope

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Well, I'm glad you're not suicidal; I have been, and it's no fun. :-)

I was just curious. Everybody's different.

I didn't mean it to sound like an interrogation. I'm just trying to help you organize your thoughts so that you can make whatever decision you really want.

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Well, I'm glad you're not suicidal; I have been, and it's no fun. :-)

I was just curious. Everybody's different.

I didn't mean it to sound like an interrogation. I'm just trying to help you organize your thoughts so that you can make whatever decision you really want.

ur calmin me down actually keep replying please helps me to not purge or cut now

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Well, my only concern with that, Egirl, is that then you need me in order to live your life. I think we can agree that it's impossible for me to be around every time you get triggered, right? I mean, I like to be entertaining, and all, but ... :-)

You have the choice of what you do to yourself. You get complete control of that. But asking me to do something, so that you won't hurt yourself, is a form of emotional blackmail. You will do what you will do, but I have to have the same right, otherwise what's the point? So, how about we work on ways for you to help yourself, when this happens?

For instance, one thing that occurs to me is that, even if you have lots of great friends, you seem lonely, like you need people to talk to. Do you ever turn to your friends, when you're triggered? You might find that some of them help you, too.

You've avoided talking about how you feel about your parents, though you said once that you were adopted. Can you share things with them, about how you feel? Or do they trigger you, sometimes?

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Well, my only concern with that, Egirl, is that then you need me in order to live your life. I think we can agree that it's impossible for me to be around every time you get triggered, right? I mean, I like to be entertaining, and all, but ... :-)

You have the choice of what you do to yourself. You get complete control of that. But asking me to do something, so that you won't hurt yourself, is a form of emotional blackmail. You will do what you will do, but I have to have the same right, otherwise what's the point? So, how about we work on ways for you to help yourself, when this happens?

For instance, one thing that occurs to me is that, even if you have lots of great friends, you seem lonely, like you need people to talk to. Do you ever turn to your friends, when you're triggered? You might find that some of them help you, too.

You've avoided talking about how you feel about your parents, though you said once that you were adopted. Can you share things with them, about how you feel? Or do they trigger you, sometimes?

ok how wha=t ways? ok im srry they dont understand

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Hi Ethnic girl....

You said that it has been helping to talk with Malign to keep yourself from purging/cutting. Could you be with friends with the same outcome if you needed to? You don't even have to tell them what's going on if that's uncomfortable but at least you wouldn't be alone and may be able to have a little fun too ;)

I understand how stressful school can be too. I was one of those who wasn't content to only get A's...I had to get every single point and felt like a failure when I didn't. That made school extremely stressful. But, in the midst of that, I would ride my horse or play some instrument or even get together with some friends to do music.

I know you've made a list of things you can do to distract yourself but I also like malign's suggestion to make a list of your triggers so you can identify them quicker when they are happening and engage in your distractions before you get to the desperate place you are some of the times you post here.

What do you think???

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Hi Ethnic girl....

You said that it has been helping to talk with Malign to keep yourself from purging/cutting. Could you be with friends with the same outcome if you needed to? You don't even have to tell them what's going on if that's uncomfortable but at least you wouldn't be alone and may be able to have a little fun too ;)

I understand how stressful school can be too. I was one of those who wasn't content to only get A's...I had to get every single point and felt like a failure when I didn't. That made school extremely stressful. But, in the midst of that, I would ride my horse or play some instrument or even get together with some friends to do music.

I know you've made a list of things you can do to distract yourself but I also like malign's suggestion to make a list of your triggers so you can identify them quicker when they are happening and engage in your distractions before you get to the desperate place you are some of the times you post here.

What do you think???

yes i could do that with friends,

yes i totally agree and i will do that ,itsounds like a plan acting on trggers before they get out of hand.and i m calmer now just dizzy an sick to tummy

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Uh, was one of your coping techniques to lose weight?

Do you find that weighing yourself helps you?

I'm afraid you lost me. I can't even tell if you think that's good or bad ...

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So why'd you do it? :-)

I had a feeling that you needed to gain, rather than lose.

But how do you see it? I know that you feel overfull, whenever you eat.

Did you feel that way the past few days? Maybe this gives you some more information: you definitely did not eat too much.

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I did it to make me feel better but i guess did not work out

i do neeed to gain i m always feeling weak and dizzy an tired so i need meat on my bones, im all bony now and can see ribs and pelvic bones and ankels a little bit definedand yes thats how i have been feeling past few days feelin overfull lately to.not sure how to gain weight i gain it really slowly.,\

So why'd you do it? :-)

I had a feeling that you needed to gain, rather than lose.

But how do you see it? I know that you feel overfull, whenever you eat.

Did you feel that way the past few days? Maybe this gives you some more information: you definitely did not eat too much.

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