Need some help

[precipice]

Mods, please move the folloing to th eproper forum as I'm not sure if this is a sexual or anxiety/depression problem

I don't know exactly what to call my problem.

I've been diagnosed as depressed and bipolar

Basically, I get paralyzed by fear. I suppose I've had this problem since I was younger. School was hell for me, even at a young age as I couldn't let things go. Someone would make fun of me on a friday, or I would percieve someone as not liking me and it would bother me until monday or until I saw them again. This bothered me all through school and I still do it to some extent today.

I had dreams and fantasies of transforming into something else, being captured and changed into something. This eventually lead to that somethign being female and I tried cross dressing. Through the first few years of high school, I had these secret ideas of becoming a woman once I turned 20.

Needless to say, I never did it. I'm around 30 now. I'm married and have a good job, but I get paralyzed with anxiety, I guess. I worry about percieved interaction with people. I worry about money endlessly, to the point that I deny myself things I want because I worry about running out. I have trouble talking about anything on my mind, even to my wife, as I percieve others seeing me as weak. I dont drink or do drugs, by sex is really the only thing that relieves or refreshes me once I get tense.

I'm blessed to have a lot of people that love and care about me. I wish I could stop doing these things to myself. I used to love helping people (community service/teaching/etc) but now I can barely make a decision to go out anywhere without shooting it down needlessly.

Please offer some advice...I want to fix this

[MickyP]

I'll be interested in what others say here, Precipice as I have some of the same issues. School, anxiety, coming up with reasons to not be able to leave the house, perceived interactions with others.

I hope for answers for you as well as myself.

[Mark]

Well - sex doesn't seem to be the problem - it is the tension and resulting moods that are bothering you, right? so let's call this an anxiety/depression problem.

My first thought is that this (mood stuff) is the sort of thing you'd be best off working on in a therapy situtation. Have you tried that before? what treatments have you pursued in looking for relief? Knowing that information will help us generate ideas.