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poll: Do you think pornography is healthy?


hell2breakfast
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I think that there is no simple answer for this question. I think some forms of it can have a place in a healthy sex life/ relationship given the right situation and some forms (OR even excess use) can be very harmful or unhealthy. I think that it's not, "well it's whatever each person thinks it is" either. There is a LINE that has to be drawn with it. I don't assume that my comfort level is the same as anyone else or that I am right or wrong with placing it where I do. The major factor, I guess, is how you act upon it and the production of it. I could never support film with unwilling/ underage persons or using it in conjunction with victimizing another human.

I guess I would have to add though, because it is possible for a person to use something in a healthier way, doesn't make it a good thing. Just like a person could use alcohol in moderation as part of an otherwise healthy life, it doesn't make it a healthy thing.

Edited by DahliMOMMA
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Unhealthy. I just don't see any benefits to this voyeurism...

Voyeurism! Thats all it is. An addiction of the spirit. One of the historic signs of cultural decay. Great civilizations are defined not just by what they allow..But what they will NOT TOLERATE!

The moment a society allows comercial intimacy to get a foot in the door, is the same moment that people begin their downhill slide...Though it may take a hundred years, they are doomed, precisely because they have substituted sex for love, treason for loyalty, and predation for trust.

It is a celebration of the body...to hell with the person living in it.

It will eat at the soul of an individual or Nation until they are reduced to wallowing in their own excrement and babbling the jibberish of a psychopath in the throws of delirum tremens (look at our politicians and role "models")

Now that I have clarified my position on this topic I wish to thank each one of you who responded..I hade hoped for more but we can't have everything.

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Isn't it true that as soon as man invented the camera man invented pornographic pictures. I don't say that flippantly but the fact is humans are a sexual species. I don't think you can stamp one answer on this question. Of course there are times when it can be addictive and damaging. But for many it is just part and parcel of their sexual life.

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Well, in my case it's simply not legal. So, speaking from that perspective, I can at least say that it's absolutely stressful. I'm talking even certain comic book characters can get you 10 years in prison.

I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just enjoy your freedom to not watch if you so choose. :D

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Isn't it true that as soon as man invented the camera man invented pornographic pictures. I don't say that flippantly but the fact is humans are a sexual species. I don't think you can stamp one answer on this question. Of course there are times when it can be addictive and damaging. But for many it is just part and parcel of their sexual life.

Yes there are downsides to every new technology, however the fact that I own a camera should not give me the right to use it for harm.

We are indeed sexual creatures, which is why most (healthy) societies throughout history have provided a healthy outlet for sex...Monogamy.

The social chaos and polarization we are witnessing today is the result of the death of monogamy (as an institution) There are other factors but the death of marriage is preeminent among them IMO

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Well, in my case it's simply not legal. So, speaking from that perspective, I can at least say that it's absolutely stressful. I'm talking even certain comic book characters can get you 10 years in prison.

I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone. Just enjoy your freedom to not watch if you so choose. ;)

IMO; the sexual urge is a natural and biological need. To forbid sexuality itself as "sin" and punishing people for wearing comfortable clothing can be just as harmful as pornography.

Any depiction of human sexuality, that does not involve live human subjects (Photographs) Is not, or in any event should not be considered pornographic. Because a child will not find INTENT TO HARM in them. Thus, a child will not be disturbed/stressed by witnessing a nude sculpture or painting, even if it is sexually graphic. Because the mind knows it is not real

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h2b,

While there's no problem about discussing general social policy here, it ends up being a rather abstract, impersonal way to discuss something that obviously means a great deal to you. What I'm wondering is what personal experiences informed your opinions.

We've all had different experiences, and that can dramatically alter our responses to a question as broad as this one. You yourself have just been forced to limit the definition of 'pornography' in order to discuss it, and you'd have to do the same with the word 'unhealthy', in my opinion. And perhaps, to define an age range to which to apply the latter.

As it stands, your "poll" sounds like an invitation that only people who agree with you would accept.

Instead, though I realize that it might be more difficult, would it be possible to discuss our personal experiences with pornography?

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h2b,

While there's no problem about discussing general social policy here, it ends up being a rather abstract, impersonal way to discuss something that obviously means a great deal to you. What I'm wondering is what personal experiences informed your opinions.

We've all had different experiences, and that can dramatically alter our responses to a question as broad as this one. You yourself have just been forced to limit the definition of 'pornography' in order to discuss it, and you'd have to do the same with the word 'unhealthy', in my opinion. And perhaps, to define an age range to which to apply the latter.

As it stands, your "poll" sounds like an invitation that only people who agree with you would accept.

Instead, though I realize that it might be more difficult, would it be possible to discuss our personal experiences with pornography?

As I have stated on another post, I was molested by an older man when I was thirteen years old, as part of his strategy he showed me hard-core pornography. The event was so traumatic, I rank it among the top three most damaging events of my life. I used porn for years and was addicted to it. I was only able to free myself from it by studying it within the context of

the society in which it occurs. Thank you for asking.

I did not limit my definition of porn. (thats what the politicians do) and that is the reason porn pervades our society (people don't know what it is and or disagree on whether it is harmful)

I define porn as any depiction of live sexual intimacy (photograph, film,stage)

That means its ALL porn, from passionate kissing on a prime-time G-rated movie to the most explicit/graphic xxx porn flicks...its just a matter of degree.

While it is true that a child raised in a loving family may not suffer any long term psychological damage from one exposure to porn, how many of us came from happy, functional families?

It is especially harmful to those of us who were raised with no physical contact with the opposite sex. the feeling is roughly analogous to being shunned by your spouse/sweetheart for years only to discover they have been having sex with everyone in town except you, (and you the only one that doesn't know)

As for age, what is harmful to a child can't be very healthy for an adult. the fact that many of us assume the risks speaks to just how dysfunctional we have become both individually and socially

Now I am aware that there are those who were raised with very liberal attitudes toward sex and who see the opposite sex (and often the same sex) as objects of sexual pleasure. And many of these people have no sexual inhibitions at all...even to the point of incest obviously. But I think we could all agree that you can have too much of even a good thing

The purpose of the poll was self-serving I will admit, I wanted to see if the polarization that exists in society with regard to sexual beliefs extend to the people in this forum ei. liberal or conservative, and if possible, gain/offer some insight on the part sex plays in our own individual dysfunction.

I have, over the years found it necessary to examine myself at great depth. And having reached those depths, discovered the role played by my parents/family...and their families etc.. But in the end, I think we can't begin to heal without at least acknowlegeing the biggest family of all (Society)

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Hot-button topics are kind of tough for me. I appreciate peace and harmony and dislike upsetting anyone. My personal feelings around this...

There was a time, some years ago, when I wrote some soft erotic type of fiction. I became rather disturbed actually by how much I seemed to be enjoying writing it, but then came to understand why I was doing it. For my entire life, I'd been generic. Never "hot". Not even luke-warm really. But when I was writing, men would respond to me in ways they never had in the past. And I was really soaking that up...my fantasy of being a babe. Don't know if that counts as pornography. It was a release as well because I'd also recently become anorgasmic since the birth of my third child caused nerve damage. I always tried to write sensitively, carefully and respectfully. The characters in my stories were always acting out of love.

For me, respect is the key. I've always seen sex as a sacred act and one that should be respected and held in high honor. I don't see the act itself as dirty. It's a beautiful act when the reasons are right. The problem I have is in the depiction of it in pornography. Objectification and disrespect and the focus on the act itself rather than the feelings which created the act. Even love stories portrayed by Hollywood don't often get it right in my opinion.

Hopefully this doesn't lower anyone's opinion of me. At the time, the writing it was therapeutic in its own way. It's not something I do any longer.

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Hot-button topics are kind of tough for me. I appreciate peace and harmony and dislike upsetting anyone. My personal feelings around this...

There was a time, some years ago, when I wrote some soft erotic type of fiction. I became rather disturbed actually by how much I seemed to be enjoying writing it, but then came to understand why I was doing it. For my entire life, I'd been generic. Never "hot". Not even luke-warm really. But when I was writing, men would respond to me in ways they never had in the past. And I was really soaking that up...my fantasy of being a babe. Don't know if that counts as pornography. It was a release as well because I'd also recently become anorgasmic since the birth of my third child caused nerve damage. I always tried to write sensitively, carefully and respectfully. The characters in my stories were always acting out of love.

For me, respect is the key. I've always seen sex as a sacred act and one that should be respected and held in high honor. I don't see the act itself as dirty. It's a beautiful act when the reasons are right. The problem I have is in the depiction of it in pornography. Objectification and disrespect and the focus on the act itself rather than the feelings which created the act. Even love stories portrayed by Hollywood don't often get it right in my opinion.

Hopefully this doesn't lower anyone's opinion of me. At the time, the writing it was therapeutic in its own way. It's not something I do any longer.

What you did was fiction, and would normally be construed as such. Pornography is not fiction, but actual sex by live people.

There is and can be no harm come from fantasy unless acted out, and then is only as harmful as the fantasy itself.

I agree that sexual intimacy is about respect and value. The minute it becomes public it is no longer intimacy, but pornography (live sex, not drawings, stories, sculptures, etc. But actual photos or stage presentations of live sexual intercourse between live people

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The unhealthy choices you offer leaves the only healthy option out. Why is that?

I guess I'm not sure of what healthy option you're referring to then... 1-900 Phone sex? I would say that certain 'types' of pornography are maybe not healthy. Plenty of abusive and degrading junk out there, but not everyone's into that.

But there's lots of amatuer stuff out there, and for the sexually inexperienced, it helps to have some idea of what some women actually enjoy, and to feel more comfortable and confident trying new things. Speaking as someone who didn't have sex until 28 (ex-girlfriend's choice), it's a bit intimidating for an older guy to not have experience.

Anyhow, that's just my take. =P

Any depiction of human sexuality, that does not involve live human subjects (Photographs) Is not, or in any event should not be considered pornographic. l

In the US anyhow, they can charge you if any drawing, sculpture, or photograph appears to be an underage person in any lewd poses or sexual situation. Bush's PROTECT Act of 2003.

As for the reasons behind your opinion, I can totally understand your views. I think a person should decide for themselves when and if they wish to view pornography. It should ABSOLUTELY never be forced on a child in an attempt to groom or do any harm. I was very curious at a very young age. 8-9 or so (I'm in my 30's, so this was all long before the internet made it a breeze).

Long story short, I was the "perfect child" who held my abusive family together. My mother wanted me to be provided for, and so she stayed miserable with my step father for 17 or 18 years. My step brother got into fist fights with his dad and carried a gun around at school, his dad would call my mother a "c_nt" all the time and tell us to "get the f_ck out if we didn't like it", my mother would sleep on the couch and come to me for comfort.

So, pornography was problematic for me not because I enjoyed it, but because I was so ashamed of anyone finding out. I had this image I had to maintain or so I thought. I always was trying to make my mom happy, and spent so much time and effort on my honors classes that I never had time or confidence to meet girls in school. I had terrible problems with concentration and memory, so just worked that much harder. No one noticed because I got good grades. I'd cry myself to sleep at night from the stress of homework and the fear of failure.

Basic non-abusive pornography or soft-core stuff is not such a horrible thing on it's own, in my opinion. There's plenty of factors, however, than can drive someone to rely on it too much - But the porn itself isn't always to blame.

Edited by eNIGMA
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I guess I'm not sure of what healthy option you're referring to then... 1-900 Phone sex? I would say that certain 'types' of pornography are maybe not healthy. Plenty of abusive and degrading junk out there, but not everyone's into that.

But there's lots of amatuer stuff out there, and for the sexually inexperienced, it helps to have some idea of what some women actually enjoy, and to feel more comfortable and confident trying new things. Speaking as someone who didn't have sex until 28 (ex-girlfriend's choice), it's a bit intimidating for an older guy to not have experience.

Anyhow, that's just my take. =P

In the US anyhow, they can charge you if any drawing, sculpture, or photograph appears to be an underage person in any lewd poses or sexual situation. Bush's PROTECT Act of 2003.

As for the reasons behind your opinion, I can totally understand your views. I think a person should decide for themselves when and if they wish to view pornography. It should ABSOLUTELY never be forced on a child in an attempt to groom or do any harm. I was very curious at a very young age. 8-9 or so (I'm in my 30's, so this was all long before the internet made it a breeze).

Long story short, I was the "perfect child" who held my abusive family together. My mother wanted me to be provided for, and so she stayed miserable with my step father for 17 or 18 years. My step brother got into fist fights with his dad and carried a gun around at school, his dad would call my mother a "c_nt" all the time and tell us to "get the f_ck out if we didn't like it", my mother would sleep on the couch and come to me for comfort.

So, pornography was problematic for me not because I enjoyed it, but because I was so ashamed of anyone finding out. I had this image I had to maintain or so I thought. I always was trying to make my mom happy, and spent so much time and effort on my honors classes that I never had time or confidence to meet girls in school. I had terrible problems with concentration and memory, so just worked that much harder. No one noticed because I got good grades. I'd cry myself to sleep at night from the stress of homework and the fear of failure.

Basic non-abusive pornography or soft-core stuff is not such a horrible thing on it's own, in my opinion. There's plenty of factors, however, than can drive someone to rely on it too much - But the porn itself isn't always to blame.

The "healthy option" I was refering to was marriage, love, etc. I'm sorry that your family was so dysfunctional that it never even occured to you that there could be such a thing. Little wonder you were a virgen till twenty eight. I was a virgen till seventeen, but in many respects am still a virgen, because I, like you apparently, was focusing on the mechanics of sex and so missed any chance there might have been for intimacy

Another way we mirror each other is the maternal rejection of maleness (both our mothers rejected the man in her life,) after fifty years of studying this stuff I have found that we learn what we live. That is to say we learn to communicate with the opposite sex by watching our parents. If they love each other we will learn to love, If not then...I guess we are doomed to spend the rest of our lives trying to "fix" our parents bad marriage on a sub-conscious level and never really progress much past puberty emotionally, Perhaps that is one reason why you are drawn to young girls. Just a thought

Be that as it may, sexual intimacy is primarily communication "a mutually shared pleasant reality" Which can be difficult if you have never experienced one IMO

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The "healthy option" I was refering to was marriage, love, etc. I'm sorry that your family was so dysfunctional that it never even occured to you that there could be such a thing. Little wonder you were a virgen till twenty eight.

Well, when I was 9 and just experimenting with masturbation, I certainly wasn't thinking about marriage. It's obviously not something I was ready for. However, nature was telling me it was time for my curiosity to take over. Nature doesn't care about love or marriage. It cares about survival of the species.

Pornography is just an aid in sexual fantasy. Just like a 900 sex phone line, which was obviously a joke lol =P It sounds like you also have an issue with masturbation I'm assuming? Chances are, you probably have some sexual thoughts while doing it. If you say otherwise, you're probably lying ;) That's nothing more than pornography in your mind. Watching it on a screen just makes it more 'real'. But it IS fantasy.

As for love, don't go jumping to conclusions - The entire reason I waited until 28 to have sex was because my first girlfriend (also my first kiss) when I was 20, wanted to wait until we got married. She was 18 at the time. I still hold my days with her as the best days of my life, even though the memories are now bitter sweet. And she still holds a place in my heart, even though she's married and has a child now. Once I love someone, they can't do anything to ever truly destroy that.

Anyhow, she wanted to wait, not for religious reasons (we're both very anti-religion), but because we both thought it'd make it that much more special. I was with her about 3 years, and towards the end, the only time I really got to see her was when I'd pick her up from college for the weekend and bring her home. She started making a lot of other plans, and basically shutting me out. She soon left me for another guy, and then slept with him about a month later. I don't think I really ever got over that.

So, yes I know of intimacy. I know first hand of the naivety of being hopelessly and recklessly in love. I couldn't even date anyone until years later, when I met a new girl at the place I worked. She was beautiful, but still had to practically throw herself at me. Don't get me wrong, I loved her as well, but nothing will ever come near the first time for me. There are walls up now that I don't ever see coming down.

Edited by eNIGMA
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Well, when I was 9 and just experimenting with masturbation, I certainly wasn't thinking about marriage. It's obviously not something I was ready for. However, nature was telling me it was time for my curiosity to take over. Nature doesn't care about love or marriage. It cares about survival of the species.

Pornography is just an aid in sexual fantasy. Just like a 900 sex phone line, which was obviously a joke lol =P It sounds like you also have an issue with masturbation I'm assuming? Chances are, you probably have some sexual thoughts while doing it. If you say otherwise, you're probably lying ;) That's nothing more than pornography in your mind. Watching it on a screen just makes it more 'real'. But it IS fantasy.

As for love, don't go jumping to conclusions - The entire reason I waited until 28 to have sex was because my first girlfriend (also my first kiss) when I was 20, wanted to wait until we got married. She was 18 at the time. I still hold my days with her as the best days of my life, even though the memories are now bitter sweet. And she still holds a place in my heart, even though she's married and has a child now. Once I love someone, they can't do anything to ever truly destroy that.

Anyhow, she wanted to wait, not for religious reasons (we're both very anti-religion), but because we both thought it'd make it that much more special. I was with her about 3 years, and towards the end, the only time I really got to see her was when I'd pick her up from college for the weekend and bring her home. She started making a lot of other plans, and basically shutting me out. She soon left me for another guy, and then slept with him about a month later. I don't think I really ever got over that.

So, yes I know of intimacy. I know first hand of the naivety of being hopelessly and recklessly in love. I couldn't even date anyone until years later, when I met a new girl at the place I worked. She was beautiful, but still had to practically throw herself at me. Don't get me wrong, I loved her as well, but nothing will ever come near the first time for me. There are walls up now that I don't ever see coming down.

Thanks for you input, we have much in common, we will just have to disagree on porn

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Pornography is only a problem if it becomes an addiction.

So is Crack-Cocain. Also I have been trying to create a scenario in my head where it would be healthy and I keep coming up short. It is at best an artificial sexual stimulant for a couple who are not that attracted to each other and are trying to have sex vicariously (mental masterbation) At worst it is an exorcise in Ego degeneration that is addictive. imho

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Pornography in a non addicitve/everyone consenting and happy way cannot be compared to a harmful class A drug like crack cocaine.

Each persons opinion is going to be guided by their own experience. And I know many couples who ocassionally may want to experiment. Whilst also having loving intimate relationships at other times.

But I suppose everything is about perception. Somebody could play a violent computer game for example and have no problems. Some others may find it triggers addiction/violence etc. But that is just my opinion.

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Pornography in a non addicitve/everyone consenting and happy way cannot be compared to a harmful class A drug like crack cocaine.

Each persons opinion is going to be guided by their own experience. And I know many couples who ocassionally may want to experiment. Whilst also having loving intimate relationships at other times.

But I suppose everything is about perception. Somebody could play a violent computer game for example and have no problems. Some others may find it triggers addiction/violence etc. But that is just my opinion.

Hi Calla! and thanks for responding to my little poll. It may be that there are those who find watching porn or being a swinger is something to be desired and is in fact healthy (I certainly wish I were more sexually uninhibited) I would not know about those people obviously, But I have watched a LOT of pornography and it usually focuses on the human being as meat.

The problem with viewing the opposite sex as meat is that it frustrates the human need for oneness, intimacy, love, etc. if not in the participants themselves, then certainly in their children who learn to view others as meat. (predatory worldview) or in the other extreme to view themselves as meat. (victim worldview)

I forget the study, but I seem to remember one in which chimps in a solitary cage developed neuroses after exposure to chimps in an adjoining cage having sex..with the accompanying rise in stress levels. It is probably true that the ones perfoming had a better time than the one watching. but it is the nature of the porn industry ($60,000,000,000 a year I think, or it could be $6,000,000,000, I forget.) that most of us are consumers rather than makers. It amounts to some kind of psycho-sexual tyranny I suspect. I am always reduced to these final questions: why would I enjoy watching someone ELSE have sex? why would I enjoy having someone watch ME have sex? And why would I enjoy having sex with one while watching another?

I think to little or too much "sex" is the reason most of us are here, but like you,that is just my opinion:)

It's all here: anti-pornography league

Or on Yahoo: Think it's not a problem?

Edited by hell2breakfast
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