"Today I feel/am"...

[Lindamomof7]

I am so happy to see you posting again Katleen. I knew you were taking a much needed break, but I knew you would be back:D

I see that you are making wonderful strides in accepting and understanding so much. It is really nice to see how you are overcoming so much more and you have found some tools to do it!!! Good for you!!!

[katleen]

I'm all over the place, aren't I?!

Thanks for helping me feel welcome!

[Lindamomof7]

yeah you are but it is a good all over the place... I think you are really understanding things differently now

[katleen]

Thank you. So much.

katleen:)

[DahliMOMMA]

Had a good productive day...Did a dozen loads + of laundry, cleaned my room, even got out of house to visit SIL and attempted a excursion to the zoo (but was rained out)...Over all pretty good day! Having some nerve pain in my back... And lots of 'pains in the butt' (aka the kids) LOL. Older 2 fought like 'cats n dogs today. I need a whistle and a black & white refs jersey for real.

DH is on a weeks vacation upcoming and my mom is coming to visit this week... Both older kids have graduations this week and different field trips and programs. I am also looking forward to getting to complete a couple bigger projects I have hoped to get down before kids all home on vacation. Goal of being totally caught up on housework at weeks end BUT will be patient with self and happy with whatever I am/we are able to accomplish.

Also have 'date night' coming up and looking forward to taking some time for myself too!!

[DahliMOMMA]

Had episode (about 20 min) w/ slurred speech, trouble w/ certain words/sounds, facial droop :eek::confused:...after being tired and taking easy today. scares me.

[katleen]

Hi DahliMomma,

Been following this thread. It came into my mail this morning, and just wanted to tell you the symptoms you had are worth calling your doctor. It could be a lot of things.

How are you this morning"

loves and hugs

katleen

[JustTrying]

Lonely and anxious

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi JT and Dahlimomma,

Dahlimomma, I assume you are taking medications? If so, you should call your MD and let him know. Either way, (medication or not) you should see your MD about those symptoms.

JT, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely and anxious. What is going on in your life and do you have ways to soothe yourself when you feel this way?

Worried about you.

Allan:(

[DahliMOMMA]

Hi, All feeling very tired and lots of nerve pain through my back and shoulders, generally taking it quite easy.

Thanks for the thoughts on the 'spell' I had the other day. Not on meds currently, and while I know this is cause for concern, I find myself reluctant to make an extra effort to bring this up with doc(s) as I have mentioned it at last couple visits, had MRI of brain, and 'at least in office' everything has been symmetrical...just feel like its a waste of time and money.

I know I should, bring it up, and I will I just feel discouraged and scared about the whole deal.

[DahliMOMMA]

I think I may be in a mixed state again.

This time depressed and then a little dysphoric...angry/irritable.:confused: Just feeling overwhelmed-- hard time coping with life, feeling like family would be better off without me (NOT a veiled way of mentioning S/I thoughts BTW), just feeling like they might be happier allowed to move on in their lives w/o me (and vice versa maybe). Essentially, I am feeling very overwhelmed personally speaking.

Being a hermit sounding very appealing right about now.

[Sweetmom2]

Today we went shopping with my sister. Shes my complete opposite. Sometimes she makes me feel inferior and thats only cuz of my perception. I was overwhelmed with interior conflicts of who i want to be. Stingy/spending, intro/extro, etc. I was impulsive, sarcastic, dreamystate. Im ok now.

[DahliMOMMA]

Wow. The switch 'flipped' and I am UP and highly functioning hypo-manic. Yay. Feels much better!

---> Hopefully though this isn't the start of another session of UURC.

[DahliMOMMA]

Mixed state, I guess. Am generally up and a little more focused, however...I'm randomly and easily tearful (with little provocation) Yuk. Easy tearfulness is one of my least fav Bi-polar traits. boo.

[DahliMOMMA]

Achy, sore, lazy...hiding out watching TV...doing as little as possible. Still twinges of sudden tearfulness, irritability. yay. Want everyone at home to leave me alone.

[katleen]

Hi DahliMomma,

Kinda know how you feel. Am going out to mow, to get some exercise and sun. We get some here, in the Pacific NW, at times.

Thinking of you, wish I had something to give, but feel kind of numb. So much going on that I don't feel adequate to. Oh, well. Felt that in college, even when reassured doing well and got good grades. Didn't trust somehow. Found a cool site for a PTSD survivor's group. Wish there were one here, where I live. Read about something called flooding, and recognized it has been my behavior sometimes,too, between periods of numb, and withdrawing. Totally overwhelms others, but often couldn't stop. Doesn't seem to happen so much any more. Maybe? it was part of processing the grief?

Hope your day improves.

Anything you want to talk about? I'll be in and out, and know others are here as well.

loves and hugs

katleen

[DahliMOMMA]

Hello, hello...Been MIA (again)...not for any particular reason simply living life...

Been busy with daughter's birthday, school's end/graduations, starting a new semester in online college myself, adjusting to the summer schedule with kids at home, play dates...dropping off here and there. "spring" cleaning /organizing...Having my Mom visiting. etc etc.

Just lots of stuff.

Moods have been fairly steady but not great, energy levels up and down a bit...due to how much work I've done the previous day (I think).

Hopefully, some are around who would like to continue this thread. I like getting a sense of what's going on with people also on the bi-polar roller coaster, even if just brief thoughts.

[katleen]

Hi DahliMomma,

Just came out of a period of intense, what I guess is hypomania. Not something I do. Questions around meds, but man am I tired now. Couldn't quit talking and writing.

How are you today? Have watched this thread a lot. Appreciate everyone sharing.

I'm off to a city bus meeting, just as a body, but could be fun. Going with people from a NAMI support group.

I'll let you know if anything cool.

loves and hugs

katleen

[katleen]

I miss Linda being here....

[Sweetmom2]

Today im dresd up for myself and my husb. Nobody is making me depresd cause im not visiting anyone. Just me, the fam and the backyard. Kinda boring but peaceful. I want to be outside as much as possible. Husb is watching soccer.my son wet himself bt it wont upset me.my daughter is sweeping the grass with the sandtoy.

[Sweetmom2]

M.i.l is critisising what im giving my family to eat. She knows what we are eating cause i may take meat from her butchery without paying! I am very grateful for what im getting, bt whenever i go there she critisises my appearance, motherhood, etc. If i start buying at the general grocer, i wont make it. What to do? What do u guys think?

[DahliMOMMA]

Yikes! I was doing so well posting daily!

So ANYHOO! I am doing really well these days...still non-med...BUT am at a really stable place. Happy but not really into manic or hypo-manic. Just feeling content and peaceful with life. Hopefully this will continue for a good chuck of time. Also, I had a really good break through in dealing with the difficulties of my husbands personality type/disorder that helps everyone..me, him, the kids feel better and it was just a matter of making a conscious choice to change how I handle things with him, and already seeing really big results!

Yay.

Hope all are well...or at least hangin' in there. ;)Will try to get on the site a little more regularly to check in.

[DahliMOMMA]

Hey guys...Been doing okay. Not as great with the moods, a little bit of tearfulness and irritability and physical tiredness last 3 to 4 days but not too extreme. Maybe a mild mixed state. Managing not to get overwhelmed.

Seems like things have slowed down a little here again. Wish we all felt up to reporting more frequently, I like seeing how everyone is hanging in there.

[DahliMOMMA]

Hello, all! Just checking in...Have been doing well. A little bit of mild mixed states...Was worse this week with hormones. But over all feeling good.

I have been busy with the kids, online classes, visiting friends/family...I'm actually working on transferring back to a campus situation to finish last year or so of degree. I'm excited about it...having older kids in high school & middle school next year and youngest 2 being in a classroom situation while I'm in class will be a good fit for all of us I think. I am just hoping this works okay with the bipolar, hopefully no sessions of UURC. Fingers crossed...but optimistic!!

[DahliMOMMA]

Hello, my loves! I guess this is being kind of a weekly check in thing at moment VS. daily. Oh well!

Things are pretty midline. Some ups and downs...but not too bad. Having a little bit of trouble with missing my father. The TV show Deadliest Catch has a boat losing their captain/father to a stroke on shows airing over next week. The topic hits home with me as my father passed of a sudden major hemorrhagic stroke in Feb 2007 and this has a lot of parallels...Just missing him. wishing he had gotten to know my 2 youngest girls, see what oldest are up to... Lauren was 3 months old and Chloe a glint in my eye (so to speak) when he passed.

I don't know things a little numb, working around house...still thinking about switching over to on campus schooling vs. online or possibly taking on a part-time job. But don't want the stress to send me off on a BP swing again.