Loving people again

[Ob1one]

I've been changing emotionally. My emotions have been getting more primal and animalistic. My emotions have changed to things like anger, irritability, hate of people, and hate of being in the vicinity of people. I find people to be disgusting in ways as far as physical and I find their worthless rude behavior unbearable. I can't stand the smell of them, I cant stand to be close to them, I can't stand to hear them when I'm in a bad mood. The problem has been getting worse and worse and I want to learn to make it better even though I learned to hate them.

I've thought about it and I do some things that might help my mood be like this.

1. I hate myself and I tell myself that I hate myself.

2. I listen to disturbing music like... Disturbed, System of a down, Rob Zombie(rarely).

3. I like darker movies say something like the dark night with heath ledger as the Joker. He made me feel evil to the point I was laughing.

4. I tend to be found as weird and I sometimes meditate on the aggressive mood it generates. I know this one helps this mood I get.(Obviously)

Should I stop doing 1 or 2, I know I need to get rid of three. And how do I learn to get to like people again.

P.S. None of this is meant to offend anyone in any way.

again sorry for making two of these it was an accident

Edited August 11, 2008 by Ob1one

[kaudio]

Hello Ob1one, good to see you. Everyone's mood is subject to change throughout the course of a day for any number of reasons. Maybe the immediate circumstances serve as a reminder of previous experiences and I may respond under the assumption that the two instances will be similar. But, regardless of how I feel I try to ask myself what my next action is. By answering the question I focus on goals I want done, and I realign my thoughts to these goals. Should I allow myself to wander in moments of anger and frustration it is my opinion that I am no longer living with any real interest or goal in mind, which is probably the least desirable position to stay in.

Nietzsche suggests that philosophies that cannot be acted upon are worthless. So, rather than dwelling upon your anger and frustration - a far cry from a philosophy - I suggest that you try enjoying yourself in an activity you are always interested in, be it investing, martial arts, or whatever else. Just set up a plan, manage your actions, and enjoy the process. When you feel angry and frustrated, remember that these things can come and go without warning or explanation. Yet, the worst we can do is act in frustration and end up regretting the consequences afterward. That said, just because you may feel angry doesn't mean the remedy is necessarily "love". You might get tired trying so hard.

Your list, with the exception of 1, seems rather reasonable. Perhaps in order to address 1 it may be helpful to ask what exactly about yourself you dislike so much? From there you may be able to do something about it. If there is nothing to do about it, then it's my humble opinion that some thoughts are better left abandoned than kept to decay and stale the mind.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Obone1, and everyone,

I think you are getting excellent advice from others here. I agree with them.

In addition, instead of trying to stop yourself from #1, "I have myself," repeatedly tell yourself that "I like myself." Simply replace the mantra from negative to positive. After all, you are just like eveyone else, even if you do not think so. Reming yourself of that. This is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Allan:D

[Ob1one]

thank you for the advice

________

South american cooking

Edited April 29, 2011 by Ob1one

[Merits]

Emotion relies on thought, you need to drop the emotion and look at the thought behind it to see what it is saying. Then drop the thought and rest your mind. If you have any difficulty doing this, try meditation on the breath.

Write a journal of all your accomplishments to date and then read through that list every single day so that you can improve your self-esteem.

Find music that is soothing and that makes you want to get up and do more along the lines that you are interested in. Join groups where you can mix with many other people.

Watch movies that inspire and comfort you, ones where there is a positive moral and where there is love demonstrated.

[Ob1one]

Emotion relies on thought, you need to drop the emotion and look at the thought behind it to see what it is saying. Then drop the thought and rest your mind. If you have any difficulty doing this, try meditation on the breath.

Write a journal of all your accomplishments to date and then read through that list every single day so that you can improve your self-esteem.

Find music that is soothing and that makes you want to get up and do more along the lines that you are interested in. Join groups where you can mix with many other people.

Watch movies that inspire and comfort you, ones where there is a positive moral and where there is love demonstrated.

Thanks a lot, this is just the type of thing I look for.

[Mark]

People tend to think that they are not affected by what they consume and what they associate themselves with, but this is frequently not the case. How we speak to ourselves; what we listen to or watch; these things can have a large impact on our mood. In fact, the core principle of cognitive therapy is that if we can get a good grasp of how we speak to ourselves and examine that thinking for mistakes and biases, - if we can correct that thinking, then we can positively impact how we feel. Thought creates (or at least enhances, makes more likely) mood. So if you do start putting down the dark stuff and picking up the lighter stuff, you are likely to feel at least a little bit better.

One thing that is important is that you don't try to think thoughts that you don't believe. Some people try to say to themselves "I love myself" when they don't, and then they wonder why they don't feel better. If you don't love yourself, it is unrealistic to start just telling yourself that you do. But you can do things that you know will make you feel more worthy of a person and feel good about those actions, and over time, if you accrue enough of those postive actions you will likely start to see yourself as a more worthy person. Worth is not something you can just put on like a suit of clothing - it is something you have to earn through deeds that convince yourself at a deep level that you are worthy. It needs to be based on something deeper than just words alone.

Doing something for someone else that is supportive can help you feel better about yourself (like participating here), and simply giving someone else a smile can help that other person feel better. If you can't manage a smile, sometimes you can still offer comfort in other ways. So long as it is an authentic action and offer on your part, it will work its magic on you.

Mark