Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Giving Up A Sexual Fetish


Guest GingerSnap
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest GingerSnap

I am looking for info as to what happens if someone who has a sexual fetish (deeply ingrained - an understatement:eek:) and gives it up "cold turkey", what effect will that have on the individual? The particular individual has no choice since acting out would mean that he felt it was to "die" for. I am going to do some internet searching on this but once you put anything in a search engine about a sexual fetish, well, being a "fire and brimstone" sort of person, I find it more than offensive. So, what happens to the mind when deprived of such? Otherwise, life is not so bad on my side of the house, literally. God is still my strength. Thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am looking for info as to what happens if someone who has a sexual fetish (deeply ingrained - an understatement:eek:) and gives it up "cold turkey", what effect will that have on the individual? The particular individual has no choice since acting out would mean that he felt it was to "die" for. I am going to do some internet searching on this but once you put anything in a search engine about a sexual fetish, well, being a "fire and brimstone" sort of person, I find it more than offensive. So, what happens to the mind when deprived of such? Otherwise, life is not so bad on my side of the house, literally. God is still my strength. Thank you.

As far as i know, a fetish is an integral part of your identity and as such can not be changed "What you can change, and what you can't" But there may have been some recent discoveries that I am not aware of. Anyway, good luck, and let us know if the head explodes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Giving up anything cold turkey is never easy, it means moving away from familiar patterns and changing our behaviours, which is not a comfortable process usually. My experience has been that the longer something is behind us, the less it bothers us. Time is a wonderful equalizer. If this fetish is something that makes you uncomfortable or elicits shame within you, then by all means try moving away from it since it is not serving you well... You can change anything you want to change, but it's not easy and it may take some time to work through...

I'm glad things are good on your side of the house :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as i know, a fetish is an integral part of your identity and as such can not be changed

I can't see that this is so. I've had several fetishes along the way that I just lost interest in - fine while it lasted but just as fine now. They get replaced with other things.

I wonder if you looked under 'sex addiction' if you may have more luck, ginger? or 'therapy fetish' or something that makes it clear you're looking for remedial, not more of the same!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am looking for info as to what happens if someone who has a sexual fetish (deeply ingrained - an understatement:eek:) and gives it up "cold turkey", what effect will that have on the individual? The particular individual has no choice since acting out would mean that he felt it was to "die" for. I am going to do some internet searching on this but once you put anything in a search engine about a sexual fetish, well, being a "fire and brimstone" sort of person, I find it more than offensive. So, what happens to the mind when deprived of such? Otherwise, life is not so bad on my side of the house, literally. God is still my strength. Thank you.

I would highly recommend that you read and re-read "IM ok, Your ok" by Dr. Thomas Harris. Also, "The Power of myth"

I suspect you may be the victim of religious brainwash (teaching a child selected religious dogma designed to reflect the views of the teacher..focusing on one passage and leaving out all the others for selfish reasons)

If this is true (not saying it is) you may have to re-examine your religious education. Good luck

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't see that this is so. I've had several fetishes along the way that I just lost interest in - fine while it lasted but just as fine now. They get replaced with other things.

I wonder if you looked under 'sex addiction' if you may have more luck, ginger? or 'therapy fetish' or something that makes it clear you're looking for remedial, not more of the same!

Well there are fetishes and then there are fetishes, yours were obviously not "deeply ingrained" or the original fetish has grown/transformed into a different yet related manifestation of your sexual orientation IMO

Fetishes that are very stressful and that as such match the definition of Obessive-Compulsive-Disorder fall out of the range of normal sexuality (which frequently involve fetishistic experimentation including body and object) :(

An unpleasant/debilitating sexual fetish she describes (if I read it correctly) can only be treated with any degree of success by extensive therapy, cognitive or otherwise.

Psychology is a relatively new science and we don't yet fully understand how Dogs think, let alone humans, so we are all just guessing more or less. I would be interested in whether her particular fetish has religious overtones (involving guilt, sacrifice, etc.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am looking for info as to what happens if someone who has a sexual fetish (deeply ingrained - an understatement:eek:) and gives it up "cold turkey", what effect will that have on the individual? The particular individual has no choice since acting out would mean that he felt it was to "die" for. I am going to do some internet searching on this but once you put anything in a search engine about a sexual fetish, well, being a "fire and brimstone" sort of person, I find it more than offensive. So, what happens to the mind when deprived of such? Otherwise, life is not so bad on my side of the house, literally. God is still my strength. Thank you.

In my own experience with OCD I have found that any attempt to fight the thoughts/urges actually make them worse. This is, I think, because the more forbidden the thought, the more irresistable the urge. It is the classic "forbidden fruit" idea on steroids!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest GingerSnap

It is my husband's fetish not mine. He passed it off as foreplay early on but it became his only satisfaction. I realized there was something wrong with his "touch" long ago but didn't realize what. Because it was the only way he got sexual gratification I suggested we just give up trying to have sex not realizing that he would force it to have it. He has no choice but to go cold turkey or he will be sitting on the curb with his crap. He has lost his job and shows other signs of dysfunction at this point which I believe are associated with his cold turkeyness. If he touches me, he knows what the consequences will be! Just wanted to clear that up. He is more than welcome to move on and find whatever he needs. Basically I think this stems from a narcissistic problem to some degree - he realizes what he does does "it" for him without actually having a connection with someone else. We are talking about something he had a desire for from age 14 to 54 - so pretty deeply ingrained. Thanks for the replies and if his head spins off.......whatever it takes!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...