Not sure where to go from here

[mimmers]

Most people think my life is great. I'll be finishing up my MBA from a good school in a couple of weeks. I live in downtown Chicago. I'm nice and relatively cute. I've hired a personal trainer to feel better. I'm doing some volunteering to stay busy. I just started seeing a new therapist.

However, I can't stop crying and sleeping. I'm taking medicine for my depression and it helped for a while, but now I'm back to being sad. My new puppy died recently (I blame myself), I quit my job due to sexual harassment, my best friend just moved to a new town, and I broke up with my boyfriend last week. I don't feel like I have much to be hopeful about and I started thinking about how the world would be without me in it.

I know that I'm supposed to feel thankful and lucky, but I've reached a new low and I need to talk to some people who understand.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Mimmers,

You really have been through a series of stressful events and it is common to react to so much stress with depression.

Why do you blame yourself about your puppy? What happened? Also, can you tell us about the sexual harassement at work? Did you take any legal actions? Is this the first time you have experienced depression? Finally, is your new therapist using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?

I want to invite others to respond to Mimmers.

Allan

[mimmers]

Allan,

Thanks for your response.

The puppy was tiny. I placed her on the toiled while I was getting ready and she fell backwards and punctured her lungs on the tub. She was relying on me to take care of her and I wasn't careful enough. She was perfect and she loved me.

With respect to the sexual harassment, I did take legal actions and got a small settlement.

I've been struggling with depression for about 5 years and my new therapist uses CBT. I had two therapists previously that didn't help much. The medicine that I started taking recently was the most helpful in addressing my depression in the last few years. Obviously, life, friends, and other things were better in the past too.

Mimi

[Natalie]

Hi Mimmers-

Any one of those events by itself would probably make anyone feel pretty bad, so it's not surprising to me that you have had a setback with regard to your depression.

You may need an adjustment of your medication to get thru this period, or you may find that you need another one to get you to a place that the CBT therapy can help you.

You may also need to see your therapist more frequently for a while to "get you over the hump."

I know it's hard to believe right now, but your depression will get better as long as you continue to stick to a treatment plan. Avoid the temptation to drop all of those activities that you mentioned in your first post- it will only make things worse. I know you want to stay under the covers, but that won't make you feel better in the long run.

Hang in there, and keep us posted.

[Anonnymous]

Mimmers,

Try and understand that the things you spoke of are only temporary set backs. Its natural to go through a grieving process when someone looses their pet and I do not think it was your fault, accidents happen. Give it a little time and maybe consider getting another pet. It may help you cope with not only the loss but with the emptiness one feels when their best friend moves away.

Sorry to here about the harassment. Some people just do not care who they hurt and more than likely could benefit from some counseling themselves.

I am also sorry to hear about the break up for that too can be a sad and lonely time. At least you are doing positive things and as Natalie said , please keep doing them. Know that we care and are willing to listen to whatever you decide to discuss.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.

[mimmers]

Natalie and Anonnymous,

Your comments are extremely helpful. It's so nice to know that there are people out there who are willing to help. Being able to express myself on this forum has been such a positive experience thanks to you guys and to Allan.

Things are still tough. My puppy's ashes arrived yesterday, so I had a bad day. I've decided to get a new dog because I liked the feeling of having someone to care for who was completely loyal.

I'm going to take small steps to try to get better. I definitely need some new friends. I'll keep in touch.

Thank you for being there.

Mimi

[paula]

Hi Mimi, You've got to hang on in there. It was only last week that I felt Suicidal and I did the same as you and posted in the forums. I felt a lot better for it. It was my way of trying to get my feelings across to some one, and getting advice on the situation. I often go on Mental Health Sites and try and express my feelings towards life and my Depression issues. How it affects my everyday living. The issues that I'm faced with trying to cope with this Depression. I find it helps just to write things down when I am feeling low. It also helps to get it of my chest! It makes it all the worth while when you get a response aswell. Suddenly, you don't feel so alone in this world when people reply and then you realise that there's other's who suffer like yourself. It's part of your life to have to cope with these dillemas and it's hard to adjust. especially like yourself when you've had such a good up bringing. But it's all the joys of life I'm afraid. You have to take one day at a time. You could do with making a Mood chart for how your moods are on a day to day basis. I have one provided by my Psychiatrist that I fill in on a day to day basis and I fill it in for a month at a time. So every time I pay a visit to see him, I hand over my charts and that explains how I've been coping over the previous month. You put whether you are Depresses, Normal or elevated and put the severity e.g - mild, moderate or severe. There is an other page that you attatch and write your reasons for the severity of your depression, for instance you could put: feeling really down to day due to having an argument with my friend. You also fill in part of the chart for your Anxiety and Irritabillity. Giving all of the above a rating out of Three. One being mild and Three being severe. Also, you fill in how many hours sleep you have had for that day and the medication taken. You can then hand it to your G.P./Psychiatrist and it will explain how you've been. It saves having to try and remember some events that have happened since the last time you've seen him. I hope your feeling better than of late and take care! Paula

[mimmers]

Paula,

Thanks for your message. You are so right that getting a response on this forum makes you feel like you're not alone. I'm so glad that I posted my thoughts and I'm thankful for all the support. I might also start filling out a daily mood chart as you described.

I appreciate your comments,

Mimi

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Mimmers,

I am very pleased that you find the responses from the community helpful. That is what we are here for and our participants (and you are one of them) are terrific people.

Allan:)