Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Closed threads and reposts


Lindamomof7

Recommended Posts

Yeah, but in the end, it only tells you how stupid other people are ...

Idiots somehow tend to be the most vocal people {viz. the sheer number of posts to my own credit.} ;-)

You should read the comments after an article about an overpass being closed because of someone threatening to jump. People saying they wish he had gone somewhere else to do it, so they wouldn't have been inconvenienced on their commute.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good Morning, Enigma,

Glad you are back. I look forward to new friendships. Especially here where I can be myself, yet learn to care about others, too.

Not everyone has the angry views that you read. But the reality is when children enter into a sexual relationship, the course of their life is severely altered, and they may be subjected to the same outrageous views you are. Their views about themselves change, usually to depression and shame. Our society is what it is, our laws based on protection, for the most part. We all need to honor a common language and way of behavior to get along, which means following rules we may not agree with or understand. Our society is evolving, to who knows what, but at least for the short run, to care for ourselves, we need to get along. I was, am, a sexual deviant. Was very promiscuous from a very young age because older men in my life used me for their sexual needs when I was young. What it did was lead me to believe that's what I did to do to get needs (being held) met. Often vulnerable children have unavailable parents. Well, perhaps if most people in our society agreed children and teens should be promiscuous, the behavior might not be so looked down upon. But we, as a society, have learned that in order for children to have healthy (happy with themselves and others, not depressed, ashamed, etc) lives, they need to grow up first and then make their own choices about sexuality. I have spent my life trying to recover from being sexually used, abused, as a child and adolescent. It hasn't been any fun at all, and I often feel the same way about life as you. But there is hope. I can learn healthy, more acceptable and effective behaviors, including sexual, that fill my needs with out harming others. And maybe even making someone's life better. The smiles are worth millions when we lift someone else up. Even with just a smile.

You lifted me up by coming back, this morning, Enigma, I'm glad that you did. I think each of us is equally important, and in this complex civilization we stand to learn much from each other. Each of our realities are a window recorded in time, a piece of a much bigger picture, but just as necessary as those who think they are better.

Some things are hard to hear. letters between my sister and myself carried scathing judgment and anger yesterday. Shared with my house mate, and he had the ?gall? to agree with her on some things! That hurt, but, after waiting for my initial reaction (B---H) to pass, I realize her views come from her own learning and experience, and aren't all about me. Especially things I have that have hurt her from me or others in the past. Those become triggers. It can be one word. We all trigger off of each other. Feelings get hurt, If we wait and go back, putting others needs equal with ours, we can have conversations and love each other again. This is what

I live for. And I learn what I do that hurts others and can modify my behavior to fulfill more important needs. To be loved, accepted and feel I have something to give. But I have to earn it by being someone who isn't hurting others and has some common language and beliefs (at least awareness) about behaviors that tend to hurt others.

Am thinking out loud here. It's just my thoughts. Take what you want from it, but don't go away. Maybe we can use it for further conversations. I would just encourage you to look at your own life, from lots of perspectives. and don't throw it away with negative thoughts about yourself and others. When it happens, say stop, and do something positive for yourself or someone else, even if it's just to give away a smile or two at the grocery. Look for where you can be happy, even if it means learning new things and ideas. It's like school. . It's truly the only life we can be certain we get. It's never easy, but the struggle for me is becoming more worthwhile, because as I put myself out others see more of me, that which they like and don't, and mostly it's good responses, with bits (sometimes tons) of wisdom that often make my life better. And I know , if I am respectful of other's views and triggers. I can keep coming back for companionship, learning and growth.

I don't mean to lecture if I am. Please know, most of this is my stuff, and lessons I'm learning now in my fifties. Trust comes hard, but trust is really about being who we are, and knowing life brings changes, that people, everyone, will let us down at some point, and I am learning I can adjust and cope, and sometimes thrive. Look at how far humans as a species have come, especially technologically. We have a lot of mistakes and choices to clean up after, but that's how we are. We screw up. We learn from it. We move on

Hang out with us. There's much to be gained, and given. We're pioneers, many will follow. Maybe we can make someone's journey a bit safer and easier.

loves and hugs

katleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone has different experiences, which should be judged by the people involved - right or wrong. Making blanket laws that put people (me) in prison for even owning a comic book that the court finds offensive... in the name of protecting children... there's just no justifying that, I'm sorry.

It's not the same, I know, but I was pretty traumatized about religion when I was young. My grandmother would get me alone and make me cry when I was a kid. She'd terrorize me. I was a very sensitive kid, and didn't know much about church. She said I would go to hell and be in eternal pain unless I accepted Jesus as my savior, which she made me do right there as I was sobbing and crying. I didn't want to, but she and my uncle ganged up on me as soon as my mother left the room. I was 5. She used to tell me that my mother was a horrible person for not bringing me to church, and how she was going to hell, and how her mom went to hell because she married a Catholic. She said I'd be going to hell because of the music I liked, and to never play in a band.

I hated her for that. I never got to know my grandfather because I never wanted to be around her. He was a remarkable man, and I should have learned a lot from him. But now he's dead. I despise anything to do with churches and religion. I won't so much as go to a wedding if it's in a church. It repulses me that people would want to worship a "God" that is so vain and evil.

But that's freedom. I don't have to like it, and it certainly didn't work for me, but for some people, faith is a good thing. You don't see me out advocating to lock up church goers. Or people who own bibles. Or people who pray. Or people who send young children to Sunday school... even though, in my heart, I see that as wrong.

Sexuality and spirituality are, inherently, good things. Totally natural. And everyone's experiences with them will vary. We can't just go locking people in prison who haven't done anything wrong. It's barbaric.

But here I go getting back on that debate again, where I promised I wouldn't. So, I will stop and go find something to do for a bit that doesn't involve me thinking about anything.

Oh look, it's cute! >> >>

*eNIGMA exits while everyone gets cute overload*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry that your grandmother treated you this way, eNIGMA. :)

eNIGMA, I know you have strong views about all of this. But what about how you're feeling? Have you considered that your discussions about your views may be a way of steering clear of your emotions around this? You may not be able to control what others believe. Maybe try and look at what you can work on. In what ways can you help yourself to feel better about who you are as a person?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good Morning.

I laughed, too. And sent it to others. Thank you.

My sister was a hamster 'psychologist' at one time, while working in a pet store. The hamster would just roll on it's back and scream anytime anyone approached his aquarium. Sometimes I feel like that. PTSD, I think.

Glad you are still here, lots of persons here, with lots of different experiences.

You can read through threads, or search old threads and posts. I suspect you'll find more in common to yourself here, than different. Don't know for sure. Out for awhile, then back. Going for sunshine.

loves and hugs

katleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, eNIGMA,

I find the questions of IrmaJean important. Why don't you give them a try...?

I also think that this forum probably isn't a good place to discuss opinions about things we cannot influence (like the law), mosty if the topics are so triggering for many members here (I feel almost "an alien", because I don't feel triggered by what you've written :o:) ... but this doesn't mean that I agree with everything - I thing that I can understand to some extend both sides and at your side, I mostly understand your personal suffering, your feeling that "you're different than the majority and the others want hurt you because of this difference" - I can relate to this aspect of your post the most.).

But I also think that you could look here for more (than such "discussions"). I can't say what and how, but... the approach in IJ's post seems good to me. Let's try to see how we could help you with your personal pains and coping strategies. In your 1st thread, we mentioned therapy. You seemed prone to it. Did something change in this regard?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ASchwartz

Hi Enigma,

I had sent you this message yesterday but it ended up in the wrong forum. So, here is another try:

"I am also pleased that you are back with us. What I am not understanding is why you have such self hatred and why a prison sentence is possible for you? Do you feel like you can or want to explain??"

Can you talk about some of this?

Allan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I KNOW this is off-topic, but... but... I just can't resist. :o

My sister was a hamster 'psychologist' at one time, while working in a pet store. The hamster would just roll on it's back and scream anytime anyone approached his aquarium.

Methinks the hamster was the psychologist. :( Obviously LOVED living in the pet shop and did NOT want to taken away by anyone!

OK, back to the topic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi eNIGMA,

I believe you could go to local mental health, and ask for services. Should be available to you the same as anybody. You have issues common to lots of peoples. I reread your 2+2+5. Am so there with you...have always felt isolated, small. It's been me doing it to myself based on experiences a long time ago.

Have learned more coming to this forum than the last thirty years. There's a lot of love here. We're all victims, with consequences. We can either stay in the suffering, or we can stand up for ourselves, respectfully. By that meaning if we are to have a chance to make a happier life with our illness, we have to learn common boundaries to get along with most people, and they need to learn our boundarys, too. Growing up to 2+2=5, I've had to go back and learn 2+2=4, at this point, To be comfortable with people, anyway, I realized I needed to be the same on the inside as the out, and learn to speak out and advocate for myself.

Another thing. Civil rights. To be treated with dignity, and respect, for being human.

Just hoping you'll come back.

loves and hugs

katleen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Enigma,

I had sent you this message yesterday but it ended up in the wrong forum. So, here is another try:

"I am also pleased that you are back with us. What I am not understanding is why you have such self hatred and why a prison sentence is possible for you? Do you feel like you can or want to explain??"

Can you talk about some of this?

Allan

I wouldn't say I hate myself... or at least not on a regular basis. There's a lot of things that run through my mind when I'm that down. Some of it is that I'd rather go out on a high note. I never want to be that guy on the evening news they bust for having files on his computer. That would be what... 5-10 years? I think it depends.

The general public definitely has misconceptions about the content of some of this 'terrible' stuff people get sent to prison over. It's not like everyone's into abuse. I'm not. Trust me when I say that watching a real murder video (which is legal) is infinitely worse than anything you'd find on me.

So why not make that illegal too?

You can't even own a comic book with cartoon characters that appear to be underage engaging in anything sexual. That's like... Making those murder videos illegal, but then making comic books with murders in them illegal as well.

Slippery slope.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ASchwartz

Hi Enigma,

Wow, I am so very happy that you are back with us.

You and others may not know it but there is a movement afoot to change the law with regard to arrest for viewing various types of porn. Now, many law makers are recognizing that many people view this stuff but that does not make them child abusers, etc. They want the focus on the people who publish this porn and on those who commit sexual acts against children. In other words, it should not be the viewing that's illegal but the publishing and committing of child abuse.

What do you and others think?

Allan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you and others think?

That would be a good start for sure - But there's still some pretty bad apples in this scene, and I certainly can't speak for those who enjoy seeing someone physically abused and such.

I'd even be happy if the law were more lenient depending on the content of said files. For example, I think it's an absolute joke that you can be put away for a comic book. That's absurd. And something like sexting, though being something you obviously don't want your kids doing, should not carry a penalty of registering as a sex offender. It's better handled by the parents rather than the government. I think there's room for compromise, while still tracking down the producers and violent offenders.

I just think we spend too much time and money on non-violent offenses in general. Drugs included. Those resources could be used to catch the 'real' bad guys... Murderers, rapists and such.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with you eNIGMA. WHAT is actually being viewed should be taken into consideration. But....to decriminalize possession of some things I think may be going too far. If possession of child porn is decrimanilized.....the demand for it remains in place. I think anything that can slow down that demand isn't a bad thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think anything that can slow down that demand isn't a bad thing.

I hear you. It's tough though, unwillingly being on this side of things. Cutting off demand for something digital increases the desire to find something real. And the sheer cost of locking up non-violent offenders in general... is huge. That's 51% of the US prison population. The US alone has almost 25% of the world's prison inmates... while having only 5% of the world's population.

We'd save trillions, and probably see a drop in actual offenses... not sure about that, though. There's no real evidence one way or the other, since it hasn't been tested. Either way, the current system is pretty harsh, as I don't see myself as this horrible person that should be locked up. I'm a good guy otherwise - I care about people, I'm honest, I don't break any other laws... Just got stuck with this, and trying to deal with it the best I can.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Corporate prisons? Executive cells, budget cells for short stays, Loyalty benefits? Saunas, private pools, sun-bathing in select courtyards...

Hey eNIGMA, you may be able to get all sorts of amenities in return for playing concerts. Perhaps an in-house record deal? eNIGMA and the Hardened Heavy Metals?

(Sorry, that's dark humour; prisons are no joke and I'm not saying you should be in one. Just that if things are grim, the the humour needs to match it! :) )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Corporate prisons? Executive cells, budget cells for short stays, Loyalty benefits? Saunas, private pools, sun-bathing in select courtyards...

Hey eNIGMA, you may be able to get all sorts of amenities in return for playing concerts. Perhaps an in-house record deal? eNIGMA and the Hardened Heavy Metals?

(Sorry, that's dark humour; prisons are no joke and I'm not saying you should be in one. Just that if things are grim, the the humour needs to match it! :) )

Hey, I'm all about dark humor lol - Seriously doubt I'd be able to get a prison band going... Not with what they'd be locking me up for. There'd be a good beat, though.

If you're into beatings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...