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im scared of how im going to react


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i suffer badly from depression and panic attacks and im going threw a bad time as my son who is 25 is going into kidney failure hes got only a few weeks or days maybe i dont no how im going to be strong for him threw it all and i dont no who to talk to or what to do ..where to go i feel so numb

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Hi Sandy --

Ii am so sorry you and your son are going through this. It is just a terrible thing to have to deal with. I encourage you to look into your supports and see who can help you as you go through this.

Is your son on hospice? If he is not on dialysis, it is likely that he would be eligible, and then both you and he (and any other family members) would be able to receive some good help in several areas including medical, emotional, and spiritual support. They can help you all go through this process and offer support afterwards as well.

I don't know if you are in therapy or counseling, but if you are not, I think it wold be good to seek some, whether or not he is on hospice, if you are feeling so panicky and depressed and/or have this kind of history.

Other places to look for support are family, friends, the hospital or other medical programs he might be involved with and online forums like this one or ones that deal specifically with anticipatory grief. There may even be some forums or listservs that are specific to people with kidney disease.

In the meantime, I think it would be good to try to spend good quality time with your son -- to share things you want with him, to ask questions, to tell him how much you love him. Also to spend some lighter moments, just enjoying each others company.

You are going through the hardest thing that a parent can go through, and the last thing you would ever want to have to do, but you can do this. Try to get more support. And -- you are in thoughts --


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Guest ASchwartz

Dear Sandy and Appleby,

Appleby, your comments and suggestions for Sandy are right on target. Thank you.

Sandy, I am terribly sorry this tragedy is happening to your son and you. Actually, there are no words that can provide real comfort. Are you either a spiritual or religious person? Many people who are derive strength through times like this by turning to their spiritual or religious beliefs and to their leaders in this area. Appleby is correct, therapy might help.

Please understand that it is quite normal for you to be experience all types of emotional storminess.

Do you have a support system to help you, other than religious and therapy? I mean, close family, husband, other children, close friends?

We are with you and I hope you are able to respond.


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