Confused, Have many questions and looking for answers

[Part time CD]

:confused:Cross Dressing and fantacy of being With a M to F Transexual - Ernie - Jun 8th 2010

Hello, I am a 41 year old male. I have been married for 16 years to a great woman, but I like to cross dress, but only with panties, bras, nylons etc. My wife knows that I like to wear panties, and she has actually bought me several pair. I have been wearing panties as far back as I can remember. What she doesn't know is that I often think about what it would be like to have an intimate relationship with a M to F transexual. I would like to experiment, but I don't know if I should. When I was very young, between 8 and 11 years old I was sexually abused by some older male neighbors (forced to have oral and anal sex with them) and I never told anyone other than my wife. Could my crossdressing, and fantasies be caused by my past, or since I have been wearing panties secretely for most of my life, just mean that I actually wanted to be with those older males. I am really confused and I have been trying to find out if there is something wrong with me.