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D Dub
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So I started my new job last week at a pet store(I love animals!) and it feels good to finally work again it also helps to take my mind off my issues. I work with acouple of teenagers and they are chick magnets. Soon to be alpha males that constintly think of girls and sex. Me being 27 and older then them I'm not as bad any more cause it's old news to me (plus my deformation). There's these couple of girls that keep coming in that want them badly. So they will spend along time talking to them and I try to act like I'm not as crazy as I am and also not gay. So I try to hang around them abit and try to get comfortable so I don't act all up tight and afraid of girls or anything. Then today they started talking to me and I was really surprised. But the more they talked to me the more I thought about my tiny penis and it really made me feel like shit. I almost started crying right in front of them cause my bi-polar makes it hard to control my emotions alot of times. I went to the bath room for a minute to compose myself. For the rest of the night and right now I just feel like I'm a bad and pathetic person. So bad that like the song I feel like less then zero.

Losses, losers and more gain of life's pleasures

cohorts listen behind the doors to a life

meaningless less then zero in me all my walls

falling down pains of aloft misery

-mudvayne

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi D Dub,

Well, I want to congratulate you on the new job and it sounds like fun. I also love pets. Its also great that some girls were talking to you. My suggestion is that you just enjoy those moments and stop yourself from thinking about your penis.

Allan:)

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Thanks Allen, I'm trying my best not to think about it but It's going to take some more work. Atleast I am trying I couldn't say that about myself in the past but I am trying and that's about all I can do for now. It doesn't make sence to feel like a bad person when I've done nothing bad but that's just the way I function. I just have to keep trying to work on it. I really feel like I have the pathetic part justified though.

I'm sure that the lessons were learned

I'm sure that the punishments went well deserved

by the pawn in the plan taste of shit bitterness

walk from me everything systematically

-mudvayne

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Congratulations on the job. It sucks about having to deal with women and the insecurity. Even though I do not have your condition, I have the same problem with women which is why I no longer socialize or go out to bars etc. Skynight brought up an interesting point in regards to dating someone who is not into sex or asexual. That would not work for me but if you are looking for a relationship, that might be a viable idea. I am glad to see that you are working again and I hope that being occupied and having some money will take the edge off of things a bit. Also, check into some of the surgeries available if you have a chance to research this. There have been those who have gotten enlargement surgeries who have your condition and some of the results have been good.

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Thanks Skynight and recluse for lending a helping hand. It's not so much that I want a relationship which I guess I do to a certain extent. I really just want to be accepted the way I am. My whole life I have searched and searched for accptance in society. I have been accepted by alot of people but that's without them knowing about my life long secret. So in a way I feel like it's false acceptance and it makes me feel that I have to be somebody I'm really not. I can be myself to an certain extent but then I have to act or pretend I'm something else when the time comes. It's a mental war that I feel like I lose day after day after day. I wish I could get a victory every once in awhile. Like my over dramatic post, I feel the jabs that I take everyday and it's taking it's toll. I just don't know how many more I can take. I guess though in a way everyday I'm alive is somewhat a victory cause let's all be honest for i sec, the odds are truely against me. Seriously though, what's more funny and embarrissing in today's society than a full grown man with a baby dick?

Forever your eyes will hold the memories

I saw your heart as it over took me

we tried to understand and reason

but in that one moment I gave my heart away

- as I lay dying

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This is nothing to laugh about, D Dub. Of course you deserve to be accepted just as you are.

I love animals too. Actually women may find your liking animals to be attractive (I would). How has your job been going? The interactions may get easier with time as you gain more confidence. I hope you are feeling better, D dub.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi D Dub and Everyone here,

I have been accepted by alot of people but that's without them knowing about my life long secret. So in a way I feel like it's false acceptance and it makes me feel that I have to be somebody I'm really not.

I want to point out that you are not pretending to be someone you are not. I mean this in all seriousness: You are not your penis. It may sound amusing but I mean it. Who we are has nothing to do with a body part. I fully understand what you are saying about your genitals, women, etc. Yes, that is what has been so very painful for you and the others.

At the same time, this does not mean that you are presenting a false or phony self.

What are everyones thoughts and reactions?

Allan

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I'm looking for acceptance in both I guess. I just want to be accepted in society as a normal person. But I'm really not a normal person. I don't have a normal penis to start with, I don't think normally I guess that's my fault for letting this whole tiny penis deal ruin my life and my mind. Normal people don't have bi-polar mood swings like I do. Normal people probably don't get depressed so easily or as often as I do. So I guess I'm looking for acceptance in a normal world when I am abnormal. I feel like a twisted, deformed scarred freak looking in a window watching normal people eat,drink laughing it up and having a good life. Then wishing that was me. I look at it like this, it's no secret today's society doesn't accept or mesh well with anything that is different or they don't understand. If a fat kid is thrown in a room with a bunch of skinny kid's I wonder what could possibly happen? I put my money on the skinny kids making fun of the fat kid. Not accepting him cause he's different. If I walk into a public shower at a gym and there's six athletically build guys with atleast average sized wangs I wonder what could possibly happen? I get ridiculed. They would absolutley not accept me cause I'm different. Like I said earlier (and wasn't trying to be funny Irma) what is more funny or humiliating in today's society then a grown man with a micopenis? Nothing absolutly nothing. With the media telling today's society what's accepted and what's not. I mean come on in the movie observe and report, the whole movie is about a guy with a micropenis flashing costomers in the parking lot. And at the end of the movie they show it for minutes on top of minutes. And everyone knows just as well as I do that most people laughed their asses off at that poor guys expence. I mean come on they made a movie about my personal humiliation. I know I will never be accepeted as a person because of me deformation. It's pathetic and nobody wants to be around or accepted the pathetic. I have something society doesn't want it's that simple. As for being accepted sexually skynight hit that right on the button. I guess I'll probably date anybody and hope they're not and ass.

If I wash my hands in others blood am I sick?

If I soak my hands in others blood am I sick?

If I drench myself in others blood am I sick?

If I bathe myself in others blood blame mother f## king sickness

-mudvayne

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D Dub, I know there is cruelty out in the world, but there is also kindness and acceptance. I would accept you and I'm sure there are others who would as well. Normal is not a word I'm very fond of. It's too subjective and in the eye of the beholder. I've always believed in embracing differences. Differences and diversity are what create balance in this world. And you deserve to date someone who treats you kindly and respects and accepts you as you are.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Only made a few posts, here and I really was trying to offer a somewhat brighter future for those who share the "syndrome".

In any event, what I have found is that no matter how well things seem to go, the small penis will eventually fuck things up for it's possessor, one way or another.

Today is my birthday. Although I really haven't been enthusiastic in regards to celebrating ANY of my previous birthdays, I usually will hear from my children sometime during the day. Of course, my wife did mention it to me this morning, asking "what I wanted", which she knows I really don't need anything material since our home is so cluttered with "stuff" now, there would be no place for it.

I did mention that I wouldn't mind a good blow job followed by some long, slow intercourse, but she just laughed it off as she usually does if I don't keep scratching and begging.

I started thinking about it, and I realize that she has NEVER initiated sex in the many years we have been together.

Once again, when it's all said and done, I'm left with the thought that if I had managed to have been blessed with even an average sized penis, this might not have been the case.

I did come to one decision. This is that I have decided to not mention us having sex EVER again just to see if she even notices it.:cool:

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