Mom threatening

[Sweetmom2]

My mom threatened m.i.l telling her my husb is abusing my son and she is going to report us to home affairs. No he is NOT!

My mother and sister visited us at 3 and everything went well. Then my son misbehaved and my husb took him over his lap and gave him two spankings on the bum with his hand. My son always screams if hes not getting his way or his sister is taking his stuff. So he screamed when he got two spankings. My mom and sister got up and left wanting to take him with. My husb took him cause it was very windy outside. It was then that my mom went to his mom and told her.

I am fearing the future. I want to move far away. I hope my husb gets the promotions he applied for. I am fearing my mom is going obsesively nuts and as her daughter i am shocked, shattered, bewildered, afraid, depresd.

[mscat]

How old is your son? A preschooler can handle a swat on the bottom with an open hand when necessary , and the child is old enough to know right from wrong.

What did the child do in order for your husband to spank him? I personally feel that sometimes it is necessary , however not all the time.

[musemuse]

Hi

It is so hard these days to really say that spankings are ok or not. The times are so different now. I was raised with spankings/whippings (I hate to say, but the truth). Then I knew no other way to raise my daughter, so I spanked her. She, herself, doesn't have children, but in these days we would not spank. She is almost 40, so I don't expect grands, although she wanted one badly, awhile back. She also specializes in child advocacy.

So, I can't really say, other than, I think it is ok, if not carried to the extreme, meaning no anger is involved or develops during the procedure. Maybe, it would be a good thing to talk with people in parenting classes to get some information to see what the laws are and get information and discuss it. I think there are laws now and you and hubby should be aware.

[Sweetmom2]

He didnt listen. My husb didnt use any aggr, very calmly.he wanted to take him to the room,cuz he was screaming, tantrum, my husb told him to stop, he continued the screaming, threatened him with the room and then he stopped screaming. My mom cant handle screaming and doesnt want spanking. She told m.i.l my husb was plukking his arm, and i rememberd he only picked him up. My mother has ptsd from her childhood where her dad was a aggr alcoholic. My son is 4

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Sweetmom and Musemuse,

"Spanking," if it is just that, is not considered abuse. However, research shows that it does nothing good for anyone, especially if is frequently happens. If there is a lot of spanking, it leads to low self esteem, depression and aggressiveness on the part of the child who then adopts violence as a way to find solutions. It is better to find other ways to solve problems. For example, a child being sent to their room or to "time out" should not be threatened with that. Instead, time out should be a way for the child to get some self control.

Sweetmom, it seems that your mother is encroaching on or interfering in your family life. Does she live with you? Can you draw stonger boundaries between her and your family?

Allan

[Sweetmom2]

She lives in the same town. At parties, fam gather, ..always she protects him from any form of punishment, even time out.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Sweetmom,

How would it feel for you to start to put limits on this woman? Would your husband agree with you? Could you join together in limiting this woman?

How is it for others? How many of you have in-laws who interfere either in your marriage or in your child rearing?

Allan