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Argh. I don't know what I see a psychiatrist for. Do you?

Guest SomethingOrOther

By Guest SomethingOrOther
in Psychotherapy and other Treatments

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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Hello, SomethingOrOther,

I'm back from "the 1st part of" my holidays - you are right that it was the reason I didn't post here. I'm sorry; I had wanted to "announce" the holidays, but... then we were leaving a bit "in hurry" and I didn't find a time for doing it :(

There is only one advantage for me (related to my 'holiday' and this forum): It was fine to read so many posts from you at once :D.

That's a bit funny: you are on the same med as me! :) But as you don't want others to comment on Mirtazapine here, I will not. (But you probably know I did in some other threads. I'd like to have one remark anyway: You mentioned that you don't want to read how others have bad experiences with "your" med, but... me, I haven't seen anybody to post a bad experience, and I've also read some clinical studies and all were very positive. The only negative thing - except for tideness and a big apetite - was that for some, the med stops working after several months. But this could be managed by increasing the dose, at least sometimes... I'm sorry; I said I wouldn't post about it and I did! :o...) By the way; what's your dose? I'm only on 15 mg per day.

You asked about sleeping. Well, I don't know what is the "professional" answer, I can only say that I think it's better to sleep as long as you need. I didn't consult it with my p/doc-therapist, but I menitoned several times that I have big problems with getting out of my bed in the morning and I sleep at least an additional hour after my alarm-clock rings and he always only asks me something like 'why I consider it to be a problem as I don't have to be at work at a certain time, so I can enjoy sleeping more'.

I will be on-line today and tomorrow, but then, I will leave again for one week. (By the way; my 'holidays' are not some 'exotic trips'; we go, as every summer, to see one and then the other grandma of my husband. (My grandparents died many years ago...))

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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Hello,

It's so nice to be here again!

Hm. Now I could feel a bit "responsible" for your choice :). Anyway; wish you good luck!!! And still wish you to start a good therapy soon... :) (Yes; I'm very insistent, I know... :))

it's the patients "stance" that is important, apparently. Most odd.

I wouldn't say "the most importnat" but "one of the two equally important factors" - the 2nd one is undoubtly the "biochemical suitability". And why odd? It makes sence to me. (And I'm sure to you, too :))

And your family... I can relate to your feelings about it, too (the most importnat difference is that I didn't "encounter" cancer in our familly, fortunately...). I'm sure this is a rich topic and we can "discuss" it sometimes in more details, if you'd like to. Now, I have to go (to see my mum, by the way - in this case, you can be envious; I have a good relationship with my mum, fortunately...)...

"See you" later!

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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"stay away from your thesis when you feel capable of emotional reasoning"

Wow! Thank you! Now I have a great formulation for my reason why I haven't opened my thesis the last 5 weeks :(!!! (Oh, how funny it could be if it wasn't so sad... :()

It's probably fine that you "found inspiration in me" in the context of your med, but... I hope you'll never get a similar "inspiration" in the context of work. These weeks, I really feel that I gave up for ever. I don't post here about it, as I can't see a reason to do so. My therapist said something like "just enjoy your holidays" and it seems I do so. But september is getting closer and... my future is "in the haze"... Sometimes (last Friday, to be precise) it makes me cry and wish to die again. How silly! ... Oh no, sorry, I don't want to do such ugly statements here...

To change the topic: I've always wondered where are your from and what precisely you studied (which field). But I've been too afraid (coward?) to ask you in a PM. May I? :o

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malign Senior Member

malign

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Unfortunately, my twisted imagination is now showing me what a "model" organism fashion show might look like: a row of lab rats in high heels and sashes, taking turns walking to the end of a runway, smiling, being asked what they want most and replying "World Cheese!"

And yes, I said that out loud. :-)

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Guest SomethingOrOther

Guest SomethingOrOther

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It certainly was also of great importance that I went to buy chewing gum. I don't have a problem with my weight.. yet.. but in the long run something has to be done about that appetite. Anyway, now I have sugar-free chewing gum in the flavours spearmint, cherry mint, pina colada, melon and kids. Erm, yes that is every flavour they had. Not sure what kids taste like.. but according to the picture this kind is good for the dental hygiene of sharks. :eek:

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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Hello, I'm back again! And it feels good. Even thought it's so sad to read some posts here...

So... How to start after such a long time? Randomly, as always...

I guessed you're from Germany or Austria :(. Mostly because I know that scientists from these european countries (and I really don't want to "mortify" anybody from any other country by saying this!!!) usualy have a very good English - and you do. I don't want to write here, "in public", where I am from (I can PM you if you're interested, but I don't think it's important), as I try not to say "too much", not to be easily "identifiable" by people who know me. But I can say that my field is almost the same as yours (sorry if I mentioned it already! I don't remember :o. I studied biochemistry and molecular biology is incuded and what we do in the lab is much more MB than BCH...).

my twisted imagination is now showing me what a "model" organism fashion show might look like

:) And what does your imagination show you when I tell you that our model organism is yeast? :o

chewing gum

I don't remember if I mentioned that chewing gums are my "solution" to the problem (me, I see it as a problem, not too big, but... not negligable) - and now I see that you had the same idea :-)...

Not sure what kids taste like.. but according to the picture this kind is good for the dental hygiene of sharks.

LOL !!! I buy only one single type of chewing gum - and that's the "kids" type! (But there's no shark on the packing...) How do you like the taste? ;o)

I get the impression that my meds are not antiavoidants.

You should have know this from my experience ;-P! But I've got a great idea: We could change the field of our research to biomedical and search for an antiavoidant! It would be a great breakthrough in psychiatry and in science, too - as it would get many PhD. students back to their work!

Hm, I'm joking here and feel so good, but... in one week I'll have to face my supervisor (he'll be back from the US where he goes working in a collaborating lab every summer) and tell him "the truth"... And that will not be fun...

I wonder if it was any easier if my boss didn't live with the illusion that I have a lot of data. I don't.

This describes my own situation, too... And previous years, I was trying to convince him that he has illusions about me, too. But I didn't succeed: He has always been very skilfull in explaining to me that I'm as above-average as he thinks... And I somehow accepted this fact, then my therapist hepled me a lot to become able to see it this way, but... it only leaves me with the feeling that I'm waisting my capacity/skills by doing nothing because of my awful lack of ... motivation, "consciousness", ... because I feel so unable to decide what I want to do and would be able to do.

then my boss can say "can you use a better picture for that?"

I wonder what she'll say finally. The boss of my husband is so severe that he forces the students to do every experiment again and again in order to get a picture that has no defect at all.

I so want to run away.

:-( ... If we only had "a place" where we could run away... For me, this "place" would be a good job. The problem is that I don't know what's good for me and where to find it. I'm sorry, I'm repeating myself again. And I'm sorry I finish this post so negatively - again...

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malign Senior Member

malign

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This is actually fascinating, SoO and LaLa. I've read a fair number of biochemistry papers, and struggled to understand the diagrams and why some data were omitted. Now I get to hear about it from the authors' perspectives. :-)

And LaLa, though I only went through an undergraduate degree, I did have occasion to grow fruit flies in plastic tubes, using a wad of oatmeal and water to provide the yeast they eat. So basically, I grew your model organism to feed to my model organism. ;-)

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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I can imagine your stress! Uff! How great that you've find it!

________________

You had some questions and comments about your med. You say it only makes you a bit more active. May I have some questions? Is it really the only positive change you can see? What would you like the med to do for you? In other words: What do you need? Which changes? I don't ask because of having some doubts, I ask only because I think it's important for you to have those questions answered seriously.

As far as I remember, you said that you need a med to begin to want therapy. Maybe as you're "more active" now, you could become active enought to try this hardest step... ???

By the way, one of the first changes I noticed just after I'd started taking the med, was that I was able to make phonecalls without stress/anxiety. I'd never realized before that my phone-calling is "somehow strange"; it was so "normal" to me that I felt very nervous every time. And then I read about social phobia and one of the very frequent "symptomes" of social phobia is "difficulty making phone calls" - LOL! I was so surprised! I'd never thought I had social phobia! But my therapist didn't give me "a yes/no answer" - he only told me that I mignt have some symptomes of it but "he doesn't care about diagnoses and doesn't treat a diagnosis but me" - I'm sorry I repeat it again, but... maybe someone doesn't remeber :) ...

So... didn't you notice something like this? An unexpected change? (If not, it's not a problem, so I hope you'll not worry!)

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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I'm pretty much upset that the meds don't work better.

I'm sorry you feel this way... :D

I don't believe in therapy, I have enough problems.

I see. I really feel awkward that I "always" mention therapy (here). It's like... when you have something precious/wonderful and would like to share it so much, but... it's impossible as it's not precious for those you'd like to share it with...

quite like the petunias that crash on magrathea

I don't know if I've catched it :confused:. Are you a fan of Douglas Adams? (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Magrathea) :D (I am, but I don't remember the petunias :o...)

By the way, I'd like to let you know that I admire your comments in other threads, currently mostly in the one about countertransference. The last one was - as Allan said, too - really great (maybe the best of all)!

Hope you're better now...

Wish you well!

L.

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LaLa Senior Member

LaLa

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do you remember the whale, then?

Not very clearly :o. I read the books 10-11 years ago. But now, we have an english audio-version and we'd like to listen to it sometimes, so... I'll "recall my memories"... :(

Do you also know Dirk Gently and Adams's book about animals that dispapear from the Earth, written together with a biologist (I don't remeber the english name of the book)?

I want to write you more, hopefuly something meaningful, but now I don't have time and ideas... :( So "see you" later! ;)

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