If I had my life to live over again, I would...

[IntoxicatedFrog]

------------------

[Endlessnight]

37. learned to like myself

38. finish high school and go to college

39. take the risks I didn't have the courage to take

40. do the things I was afraid to do...carpe diem!

[Calla]

41)learnt from my mistakes the FIRST time...or even second or third!!!

42)never touched alcohol

43)moved out of home sooner

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi,

I have a different answer to the question. My reaction is that life cannot be lived over but that we can live it differently in the present and in the future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Isn't it true that we spend too much time regretting the past instead of living in the moment?

Allan

[malign]

I didn't see the intent of this thread as a list of regrets, Allan, so much as a way to clarify one's intent about what to do next. I know that some posters have seen it differently. Maybe that's the real point: we see in it what we need to see.

[Newmommy]

Hi,

I have a different answer to the question. My reaction is that life cannot be lived over but that we can live it differently in the present and in the future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Isn't it true that we spend too much time regretting the past instead of living in the moment?

Allan

I am just curious. I am someone living in the past right now, full of regrets. I didn't physically harm anyone and I feel such horrible guilt for the immature or curel things I have said. How is it if so many say live for the now and not the past that people who commit heinous crimes are not forgiven? Would you tell a pedophile to live in the now and not regret the past? I am not being argumentative, just wondering where you draw the line and not forgive the past actions.

[malign]

In my opinion, a lot depends on what you feel we have prisons for.

If you see them as punishment, then you'd have to make sure the punishment fits the crime. We don't put people away for ten years for littering. And even then, you'd hope the prisoners aren't living in the past, building a grudge for being locked up, but rather, using their present time to learn how to be productive members of society, when they get out.

Do you feel that you deserve ongoing punishment for the behavior you feel guilty about? Does the "sentence" fit the crime?

If instead, you see prisons as a way to protect society from people who might be unremorseful predators, then you'd agree that they're in prison not for their past heinous crime, but because of our expectation that their present behavior would be similar, if we allowed it.

Do you have any expectation that you might repeat the behavior?

There are other theories of the purpose of prisons, and I'm not picking one. I'm just trying to direct you back to the real question, which is why you are still defining yourself by this event that happened so long ago.

[Newmommy]

In my opinion, a lot depends on what you feel we have prisons for.

Do you feel that you deserve ongoing punishment for the behavior you feel guilty about? Does the "sentence" fit the crime?

I really don't know. I know if someone said cruel things to me, in time I would get over it and not care nor let that effect me long term. But I am struggling to think this way about what I had to say. I can't make sense of it. I am so exhausted from it. I think heinous crimes require a life sentence, so maybe I am just a dramatic person.

[LaLa]

I have a different answer to the question. My reaction is that life cannot be lived over but that we can live it differently in the present and in the future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Isn't it true that we spend too much time regretting the past instead of living in the moment?

I agree with this point of view. My problem is, and I'm surely not the only one, that I'm too "scared" by the future. Thanks to my therapy, I've already learned to enjoy the present. To understand better the past. But... the future is still an open issue for me... (I'm just in the "moment of my life" (the end of PhD study) when I have to decide what I'd like to do and... it's all so pointless, so frustrating, that... I prefere to live in the present and in the past. I know; this is a problem. Well... what else can I say than "I'm in therapy, so... hopefuly it will help me"? :confused:)

[IrmaJean]

I think the point is learning from the past...so that you can live more freely in the here and now.

[malign]

Well, I was once told:

"The grass _is_ greener on the other side of the fence.

But someone still has to mow it."

I hate mowing. :-)

[David O]

Good morning all,

This was actually part 1 of a 2 part question: part 2 is the Miracle Question, which appears in a new thread. Note that they're connected for most of us.

The real trick to managing our past is to know what to leave behind and what to bring with us on our journey.

Thoughtfully,

David

[Bacon]

I would...

44) ... Be like... 3 inches taller.

45) ... Smell like the Old Spice guy.

46) ... Learn how to break dance.

47) ... Not have gone to college. It's a scam, knowledge is free.

48) ... Win the lottery. At least once.

49) ... Have found out about chilli+cheese omelettes sooner.

50) ... Had girlfriends instead of worrying about homework.

[IrmaJean]

I would bring everything with me on my journey. Some of it might be let go as I walked along the path, but only after I'd taken a long look at it and realized I no longer needed it. Or perhaps didn't want it in the first place. Or even that it hurt me. Coming to those realizations might clear the view of the path up ahead and help me know which turns to make so I wouldn't get lost in the dark again.

Your part 2 question makes me feel like I'm in therapy again. Which means the answers might be a few days coming.