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Sometimes what happens is that the weight is easier to focus on instead on all the other stuff. Weight is better to control when you can't control the other things in your life. Anxiety, Relationships, Mood, SI triggers, all of those things are difficult and always there.

Same with weight. However, a person with an ED, knows that food and weight can be manipulated and under control so much easier then the other .

It is not going to go away, no ,matter how much you want it to. It won't until your able to learn to deal with the other stuff that is going on.

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The concern with weight is of a piece, I think, with some of the other problems. The general theme is that you aren't good enough when compared against a certain internal standard you hold. It's part of the theme of your depression too, no? Dr. Sidney Blatt, a psychodynamic psychotherapist over at Yale University used to make the distinction between two types of depression - Analclytic Depression and Introjective Depression.

I'm quoting from our psychodynamic theories of depression article page:

Anaclitic depression involves a person who feels dependent upon relationships with others and who essentially grieves over the threatened or actual loss of those relationships. Anaclitic depression is caused by the disruption of a caregiving relationship with a primary object and is characterized by feelings of helplessness and weakness. A person with anaclitic depression experiences intense fears of abandonment and desperately struggles to maintain direct physical contact with the need-gratifying object.

Introjective depression occurs when a person feels that they have failed to meet their own standards or the standards of important others and that therefore they are failures. Introjective depression arises from a harsh, unrelenting, highly critical superego that creates feelings of worthlessness, guilt and a sense of having failure. A person with introjective depression experiences intense fears of losing approval, recognition, and love from a desired object.

I'm guessing that you lean towards the Introjective end of the depression spectrum. The demons you face are your own standards and a possible struggle with perfectionism (???) or maybe I'm reading too much in. Please correct me if I'm blowing smoke. I"m not trying to label you - I'm trying to offer you some category to help make sense of your experience. If this isn't helpful, let me know and I'll shut up :)

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  • 7 months later...

I am the sort of person who refused food when I am in a state of depression and anxiety. I have not eated a proper meal for I don't know how long but it has had no affect on my weight. I drink a lot of milk and sustagen and milo and that keeps me going. I just don't feel like cooking for one and know this is a poor excuse, but can't help it. I do not feel hungry and so don't eat. I know this is not good for me but that's the way it is. My Dr knows about it and is no happy with it but she can't control my kitchen. At least is saves on having to clean up.

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