social phobia

[anya8]

hi,

i have suffered from depression and social anxiety on and off for most of my adult life- i'm 28. my anxiety in school was so bad that i could never concentrate on what was being said as i was terrified (sweating palms, trembling) that i would be chosen to participate in a classroom activity, i avoided school as much as possible - which heavily effected my friendships and education. at 16 i was so terrified of being put in a confronting position that i went to life with my mother's family abroad and skipped an entire year of high school. on my return to school i explained this fear to my family doctor who put me on arapax. on arapax i was far less self conscious and able to function better. i got a boyfriend and felt finally a 'member of society'. i stopped taking arapax after 5 years as i felt that i could no longer feel the effects of the pills and didn't like the idea of living my entire life dependent on pharmaceuticals. after 6 months i was avoiding social situations again. i started taking zoloft. on zoloft i became extremely outgoing and started living a life of excess -abusing drugs and alcohol (whether or not zoloft and this toxic era have a relationship, i'm not sure). prior to traveling in 2005 i decided to stop taking all medication. after 2 months i became extremely depressed and agitated, with thoughts that i was useless, had more opportunities than most people but had done nothing with these because i was intrinsically a bad, lazy, useless person who would never be able to be rid of social hangups.

that was 3 years ago. 1 month ago i started sliding back into the avoidance of social situations. now i live in a country where i am noticeably a foreigner. this has fulled my paranoia. now i shake visibility when i talk to random people. i am hearing what i am not when discussing positively the attributes and qualities of another person. i have a boyfriend and feel terrible that he has to see me like this- dependent on him for human contact. i resent that he has friends and no problems with the outside world. i feel that i am getting more and more isolated and irrational and clever with my hypothetical scenario building. i understand that what i am doing is self destructive and irrational but i just can't seem to find a way to stop it. i am in a foreign land with no real friends or family and i am really concerned about my mental health. i really want to live free of these thoughts and emotions and preferably without drugs.

please help.

[paula]

Hi Anya8, & Welcome,

You say that you have troubled with Social Phobia for a few Year's now? Also, you have been on Medication to help control this situation, then why didn't your Doctor refer you for Councilling help?

I too, suffer from Social Phobia and understand where your coming from. In fact, I have written a post in the Depression Thread. You will see it if you look, by Paula.

Are you on any kind of Medication now for your Anxiety?

If you are in a foreign country, then are you registered with one of their doctor's? Has that doctor received your Medical notes from your previous doctor? You don't really mention much, on the subject of medical advice...

Your best bet, I would think, is to go back on the medication, that's if your on it? And get the situation under control first. When you feel that you have it under control then, start to think of coming off the medication.

You need to wean your self off the medication, by lowering your dosage first. Then try and go alternate day's without having your medication. If you are struggling when you do this, then obviously, your body is not ready. You have to do it one step at a time. Again, get the situation under control first, then try lowering the dose, then try and go alternate day's without taking the medication, and see how you feel?

I know we all hate taking drug's, but if that's the only way we can deal with these situation's, well I know what I'd do! There will be other form's of dealing with the problem, but I'm afraid I can't help you there as I'm no doctor.

Take care & good luck!

Paula x :rolleyes: