FlowerGirl2009 Posted September 8, 2008 Report Share Posted September 8, 2008 I need to talk to someone but I cant talk to anyone in my family and I refuse to talk to a therapist. I was neglected when i was younger by my alchoholic mother until I was moved in with my grandparents when i was 14. I have severe untreated depression and anxiety problems. As i said before, i refuse to talk to a therapist. I know that I have a strong need for attension and I have co-dependency problems. I crave attension and I need it. There are times when I wish/pray for bad things to happen to me for the attension. Not only for the attension though, I just really want it to happen. Things like getting leukemia, going anorexic, family dieing, but the #1 thing is to be raped. Dont ask me why... i dont know. I know it's horrible. I know it's wrong, It's just what's going on in my head. As I said... I crave attension and I need it.I use to talk to this teacher, but she moved out of state and now wont even answer my emails. It use to upset me horribly but I've gotten use to it. There is this other teacher that I am somewhat friends with and want to talk to. But because of what happened last time I am scared. I dont want to put myself out there just to be let down. And what happens when i graduate at the end of this year and dont see her anymore? But everything inside of me tells me that I need to talk to her. I look up to her like i've never looked up to anyone before. I seriously love her (not in a lesbian way, but in a motherly way). I think about her 24/7 and what would happen if I could talk to her. I feel like i need to. I just want her to hug me and hold me and let me cry on her shoulder. I dont know what to do. I also worry about what she will think of me. What if she hates me? Also i dont want to bother her with my problems, but i feel like i need to talk to her. Do you have any ideas what I should do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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