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Angry Feelings Lead to Fighting


anonymous
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Im wondering if i should see a theripest or not... heres my problem.

Im not an angry person, in fact i very very rarely get angry.

A couple weeks ago i just randomly got into a fight with someone from my school (over what i dont really want to say).

I have a problem with fighting, i enjoy it a whole lot. Most of the time any anger that gets me in trouble just melts away when some one rases there fist to me. Some times i end up taking things to far too.

It took all of my will power just to stop, and when i did i apolagized a whole lot. But by then i was so high just from the fight. I was numb all over and everything seemed so vivid. I enjoy myself even more its challenging for me:(.

Sorry, i would have posted this under a different topic but i wasent sure wihich it would go under.

Should i seek psycholigical help?

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Anon,

We're a new community here and while it is heartening to see people talking to one another, some threads don't get picked up on right away either. Not sure if that is becuase those who are here just don't feel qualified to relate to what you're writing about, or if it is something else.

We've also edited what you wrote, to take out some of the more graphic imagery relating to violence. Sorry for that, but we've got rules based on years of experience, and it is better if we don't allow depictions to get too graphic, as this can be frightening to some people, and that isn't why anyone is here (to be frightened). I hope our edit is still true to your issue.

It took all of my will power just to stop, and when i did i apolagized a whole lot. But by then i was so high just from the fight. I was numb all over and everything seemed so vivid. I enjoy myself even more its challenging for me:(.

So, I'm reading about your fighting and the first thing that leaps out at me are two things. You aren't aware of being angry much, and when you do get into a fight, that fight gets kind of hypnotic and vivid. You get high from the fight, but also numb. This could be just the adrenaline rush of letting fly, but it could also be something more, like a tendancy to dissociate while fighting. I'm not trying to fit you into a mold so much as I'm trying to understand what might be actually happening. Does it feel like a trance? Does it feel like it is happening to someone else, or perhaps does it feel detached in any way?

That you don't identify yourself as angry day to day, but do find yourself in fights on a regular basis (I assume, or it wouldn't really be a problem) - this fits in with the way many people who end up going to anger management classes feel. Many people in such classes (I helped run one while an intern at the VA hospital in San Francisco many years ago) just don't see themselves as angry people, and yet they are on a hair-trigger and quick to take offence at perceived slights when they think others are disrespecting them. One of the exercises we did at the VA was to encourage participants to do an anger rating - to judge their anger on a scale from 1 (peaceful, relaxed) to 10 (very extremely angry) and to record this several times a day over a period of weeks. What tended to be the case, was that people were actually rating themselves as more angry than they thought they were, but there was some kind of disconnect between what they remembered feeling and what they actually felt, moment to moment. We also spent a lot of time talking about how people defined anger, becuase some people are aware of wanting to take revenge on someone else but they don't call that anger. it's important to get the definition expanded to cover all the different ways that anger feelings can be.

So my question to you, beyond the dissociation questions above, is could it be that you are more angry than you think? I can tell you that the average person who isn't dealing with an anger problem doesn't get into fist fights very often.

bottom line, if you are wondering if an anger management program might be helpful to you, it won't hurt you to try one out.

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So my question to you, beyond the dissociation questions above, is could it be that you are more angry than you think? I can tell you that the average person who isn't dealing with an anger problem doesn't get into fist fights very often.

Maybe, Im having such trouble dealing with the guilt of the situation that Im willing to look into an anger managment program. I havent had any problems in a little while now though.

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Well, whatever your motivation, an anger management program won't hurt you. Basically, it is just going to teach you how to pay better attention to what's happening inside you - your baseline anger and tension, and the self-talk that might be inside you that justifies getting into fights. Being more aware will help you avoid fighting if that is what you want to do.

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