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Qustions and anger.


Rman34

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Well, it has been about 2 months or so since I have posted any thing here. To start off in the least I think what ever may be the matter with me is slowly (but as of late rapidly) progressing into something worse I could say. I last spoke of isolateion of my self from the world. Now do not get me wrong I do have friedns very close ones I have know for some time.

As of late I have been spending alot of time with them and in the most part enjoying my self. But I have noticed and they have brought to my attention is how I act at time. it is like all the sudden I feel a rush of anger to say in the least, and nothing seems to trigger it, I get real quite I do not talk to people I just sorta sit there and ignore them. They ask me "dude what is the matter" and I honesty can say I have no idea, I just get into as I call them one of my moods, I go from happy to mad or some other kind of feeling and not even really notice my self doing it or as to why I am doing it. I often wonder if I am insane, but then I thought to my self, to doubt my sanity I must be sane right? So the other night I got into one of my moods and I sorta went off on a few of them and vowed never to come back and to hang with them....and so here I am alone once again, feeling a bit depressed and angry at my self for being to say in the least "an ass". I guess I was kinda hoping by taking a chance I would change the kind of person I am, and I really do what to change who I am, for the better.

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Something, well something covers a alot of things, but the question is what is that something. But nothing seems to trigger this mood shift, I will be happy and having a good time and then start feeling anger, even feeling alone in a room full of people. As far as therapy goes, I can not afford that for it is rather pricey in my area. I guess certain people are just not cut out to be social with others, and I am really thinking I am one of them, even though I do desire to be with others but it is really much easier for me and other if I just stayed away from them.

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