New meds, can't stop eating!

[paula]

Hi Ronny, Cheers for getting back so prompt!

Well we seem to have something in commen then, around my circut or what to call it im known for beeing brutaly honest yet supportive. Im also more honest then anyone i know.

I'm glad your open and honest!

Yes this is quite a tricky thing. Cause at times you just have to be brutaly honest and at other times you have to be kindly honest. You have to look at the person you are talking too, And think. What can i do to help he/she the best way i can. If a person is quite aggresiv and mad he/she will not lissen to calm honesty, you actualy got to yell to them to get trough(in most cases. people are so diffrent so nothing goes for evryone). If the person is quite fragile and vulnerable you have to take it slow and easy. The very best thing is to be cunning actualy, to send a message to someone in a conversation without them even recognize it. So that they can figure it out themself and manage to help themself. In that way, they will get more confident, trust in themself and get a higher enlightenment. You got to move carefully in these kinds of things.

Half of the time, you have to try and guess what a persons personallity is when you are replying to post on a forum site? What I tend to do is try and look for post already written by that person and try and figure what they are like by going of their written post?

I haven't & don't want to really deal with the public. They scare me to the brink of death! I think in reality, I've got to actually face them where here on the net, I'm only facing my computer screen. That's the way I like it.

I am soooooo quick tempered! I think because the way that I've been treated in the past, (I used to be so placid) I found that people used to walk all over me, So now, I tend to snap back before they have finished! I had to learn the hard way. I never had any big sisters to stick up for me? I've got two older brothers, but they are 10yrs older. To big of an age gap for them to stick up for me. My bark is worst than my bite!

[Ronny]

Hi Ronny, Cheers for getting back so prompt!

Half of the time, you have to try and guess what a persons personallity is when you are replying to post on a forum site? What I tend to do is try and look for post already written by that person and try and figure what they are like by going of their written post?

I have actualy never told anyone this. But i can tell you how i do it.

In reality people behave diffrently to diffrent persons basicly cause of trust, issues, hostility or other stuff. So when i learn about the person i talk to online, i talk, ask, directly to the person. I dont try to figure them out trough diffrent posts messages etc. Cause In reality people behave diffrently to diffrent persons, so why should it be any diffrent in a forum f.e. I noticed this evrywhere. people tell me a lot they dont tell anyone els. Im not 100%sure why, but maybe cause im so open about stuff myself that people feel they can trust me.. I got no word for what im doing, but i say sentences to a person, and how they reply tells me a lot about the person. It can be questions from me, statements from me. Or anything realy. And how the person reply tells you a lot. You could say in away im jumping in the dark, but i always know when i jumped correctly. Its like pushing on diffrent kinds of emotions, and how they use those diffrent emotions to reply or avoid them. Tells a lot. You also got to pick out ONE word that stands out, that you notice have a importand meaning to the person(can be many words but like 1 word evry 10th sentence f.e.. Wich again tells a lot. Very diffycult to explain and understand. Not to mention evry other little things.

I haven't & don't want to really deal with the public. They scare me to the brink of death! I think in reality, I've got to actually face them where here on the net, I'm only facing my computer screen. That's the way I like it.

Yes thats 1 big + for the internett. you are safe and sound behind your computer. Dont have to worry about the person you talk too,(well maybe in a diffrent way). But its not like the person can punch you in the face if he/she gets mad etc. Its good you like it behind the computer, but a bit sad that u dont got any person in ur life you truly trust.

I am soooooo quick tempered! I think because the way that I've been treated in the past, (I used to be so placid) I found that people used to walk all over me, So now, I tend to snap back before they have finished! I had to learn the hard way. I never had any big sisters to stick up for me? I've got two older brothers, but they are 10yrs older. To big of an age gap for them to stick up for me. My bark is worst than my bite!

I used be quick tempered before too. But over the years i learned to forgive evryone. I dont hate anyone, almost impossible getting me mad as well. I do not know how directly, but i just dont have any hate or anger anymore. Wasent any unusal to w8 3-5hours daily for my mother when i was younger. You kinda get forced beeing patient and calm about it:). And she can never wait 10min for me. ai ai, life can be quite annoying.

17year old gap between me and my big brother:) and 14 for my older sis. So i know what you mean, they never stick up for me either. Although i always stood up for my younger sis, how annoying it was and still is in so many ways. Some of the people who caused me most harm i dont do anything els then protect and help. Dont even get a thx or apology for anything. Oh well. Funny, talking about beeing calm while im getting slightly frustrated.

Nothing that tv cant cure. xD

But seriously if you ever feel like talking or want any advice or something, just send me a pm(private message). Im all yours.

Again apologize for my odd english, Ive goten used to shortcuts sins ive been writing a lot online for years and usaly fast. So you becomes u. w8=wait,np=no problem, ofc=of course,thx=thanks and so on.

[paula]

Hi Ronny

I mention that I am quick tempered and snappy! Well I am to a certain point. What I'm trying to say is: I'm like this over the net, but in reality, face to face, I shake tremendiously inside. My legs go to jelly & I get frightened! This is why I don't socialise. I always think people are trying to judge me, & then I get paranoid!

I think, like I mentioned previously, I think that everyone's trying to manipilate me all the time. Because of my past, when I was younger. I trusted everyone! Would do anything for anyone, give them my last penny if I knew it would help them? This went on for year's. Some people used to come up to me and try and make me see sense? With comments like, she only want's you because she's got no one else, when she's spent all your money she won't want you then? But I was to Nieve. As long as I was making them happy, it didn't bother me!

Everyone could see what was happening but myself. I had to see it myself, in my own time. To be honest, I think I knew deep down what was happening but, I kept thinking, hoping, that they would change? So basically, I was giving them the benefit of the doubt!

This went on for year's! Then when my time finally came, It was then that it hit me! Not one single person, friend's or family, came to the rescue! Do you know what I did? I broke down and cried. I just couldn't believe it? I know that I'd been previously warned what was going to happen but, I didn't want to accept it, wouldn't accept it! In my mind, I kept thinking, no, they wouldn't leave me if/when I need them. No, there not like that. But they did, and are.

That hurt me soooooooo much! I just couldn't believe it? It took me a very looooooong time to get over that. I never thought I could hurt soooo bad! It sent me a bit do-lally. I know that I'm do-lally now but, that, I would say, was the start of what I was to encounter for the rest of my life!

This is why now, I have alway's got my guard up! I will never ever trust anyone again & that's a promise. No matter how nice they're being to me, I will alway's be wise. Like the saying goes: once bitten, twice shy! I have alway's got my wit's about me, no matter what! I think that is why I am alway's on the defence side.

Whether I will learn to trust again, I don't know? For me to even think about trust, there's a lot that, thet person will have to prove! They will have to earn my trust! I know that they say that you should never judge a book by it's cover but at the moment, that is exactly what I'm doing and will do for a long time!

This is why, I've come to the conclusion, that life stinks! I cannot trust anyone! And I mean anyone! My son alway's tell's me that I've got a problem! He reckon's that no matter what, I will carry on for the rest of my life with this enormous chip on my shoulder. It will stay with me till I die? Maybe it will, and maybe it won't? But that is how life has treated me!

I think deep down that I am frightened to trust again. Frightened that it will happen again? I know that your probably thinking, that I will never know till I let my guard down, but I know at this present time, I can't let my gusrd down, don't want to let my guard down! I'd rather be on my own and have no-one apart from my son that is, than go through that again!

Sorry to bore you like I have? Maybe in your next post, you could give me a description of what you think I'm like?

[Ronny]

No no, u dont bore me:). I completly understand why you dont let your guard down, and you shouldent either. When the people around you have betrayed you like they have, its nothing weird you dont trust people, you shouldent either. They have to gain your trust over time, if they dont have the patience to do so then they are nothing to collect or treasure. With the dangreous society we have today you should never trust people you dont know, or barly know. Belive in people, but dont trust them blindly. Luckly cause i read people easly i always know who i should trust and dont trust. Its like a inner voice that tells me a few words about the person and it has never! been wrong. I always lissen to this voice, thus i avoid beeing suprisly betrayed. I always know who to trust. Wich is a big +, however ther are always downsides too.

Yes its sad at times cause the lie is so much better to belive in then the reality, so you ignore the truth cause the truth is a lot worse.

I think i made an description in my second post to you somewhere, now if i could just find it lol.

[paula]

Hi Ronny

Yes its sad at times cause the lie is so much better to belive in then the reality, so you ignore the truth cause the truth is a lot worse.

You ignore the truth because you know that the truth is going to hurt!

To be honest, I don't know what the truth is anymore? I've been told that many lies, it gets you believing them in the end.

LIFE IS ONE BIG LIE! Well that's what I think anyway?

[Cynthia]

Hi Cynthia

I thought the maximum dose was 45mg on Mertazapine. Do you have to take 2x 30mg?

As of from today, I am off the Mertazapine anyway. Had to wean myself of them and now they have put me on Dosulepin 150mg a day.

Cheers for that anyway.

They had me initially on 30mg then upped it to 60mg. I never questioned the doctor but hope that was not above the recommended dosage? Anyway I am glad to be off of it and happy to hear they have changed your meds as well and hope they are working for you:D

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Everyone,

It is not a matter of "questioning" or doubting the doctor, but all patients have a right to and should "ask questions for clarification." Not only is all right to ask questions but it is always a good idea.

Allan

[paula]

Hi Allan we've missed you where've you been?

It's not alway's as easy as that? what your saying is ask any questions that ur not sure of but if you are anything like me then all I want to do when I get in to see my G.P is get out again and by asking queations is only going to prolong my visit! Sorry Allan, no can do!

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Paula,

I am here but its sometimes difficult to get to all the forums and I sometimes can only get to a few. Also, I write for the site. I hope you and the others here have read some of my stuff (snoooooz)

Yes, you are like me that way and that is why I bring my wife with me when I go to the doctor. In fact, I went today and was speaking to the nurse about just this thing. When you are the patient, its very hard to talk and to think of all you need to say. Partly, it's nervousness. No, largely, its nervousness.

Is there someone who can go with you and help you ask the questions and give the information?

What do the rest of you do? This is a widespread problem and it would help all of us if more of you could respond.

Allan

[paula]

Hi Allan

I think you know what problem's I face when visiting my Doctor! I really wish that I could overcome these issues, but I can't? It starts to affect me the day before. Meaning: the feelings that I am trying to cope with, that is brought on with the thought's of visiting my doctor.

I know that I suffer with Insomnia, but when I know that I am due to see my doctor, I just cannot sleep whatsoever, the previous night to my visit.

My mind starts racing. There's all sorts of thoughts going through my head. Everything is all about, 'what if'...... Then I will repeat in my head, 'there's no such word as what if?'

You mention a family member being able to accompany me. I am not very close to my family. Not there doing, my own! I have my son living with me, but he attends College through the day, and I wouldn't expect him to sort out my problem's! It's not like having a daughter is it?

I have tried allsort's? Writing letter's and giving them to him, tried to relax, breathing. I couldn't even say that talking to him over the telephone would ease it imensly, because I get worst over the telephone!

I could do with having something that completely paralises your nerves, but doesn't affect your mentality? What I'm saying is, if they could give me something that totally relaxes the Anxiety and nervious side of things but didn't affect my thinking side of things? A bit like an Epidural! So my mind is still all intact! Am I making sense?

Do you know if there's any such method that they use? I am asking you because usually, if there's any new stuff that is realeased, then it's the American's that Have tried it first before it comes over to Britain? We usually get it when it's been out in America for a few year's or so.

If you could let me know one way or another?

Cheers!

[paula]

Ooooops! Sorry Allan, forgot to mention that I understand that your busy. I think this one has backfired on me?

What I meant when I said where have you been, we're all missing you is: that we/I have missed you because it was w/end and you don't post of a w/end. I wasn't criticising you honest! May the lord drop his wooden clog's on me, if I'm telling you porkie's (lies). It was meant as a compliment!

Think this has backfired on me hasn't it? SORRY!

[butterfly29]

hi Paula....I have been on a lot medications over the past 15 yrs. Medical and Psych. I have found that the medications can cause us to be more hungry so we eat. I once went from 125 to 178 in 5 weeks due to psych meds. Now when I go see "any" doctor and they want to put me on new meds my first question is "does it cause weight gain"? If it does I won't take it. I ask for something else. Usually they can find another med to do the same thing for you but not weight gain.

Good luck.....butterfly29

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Paula,

Well, there are medications that can take away your anxiety but, they are addictive. Medicines like Valium, one of the whole class of medications called Benzodiazapines, are really good at doing this. The trouble is they lead to addiction, and that means that they become less effective and you need to take more, then more, then more and then you cannot stop taking them.

There are a few less addictive and one non addictive medication but you need to ask your doctor. Remember, I am not a medical doctor, but, I would not want to take any Benzo for anxiety.

That is why things such as meditation, exercise, yoga, etc. are so good. We can learn how to reduce anxiety.

Also, I realize that talking to your doctor makes you nervous and you want a medicine that will allow you to talk to him without nervousness but you cannot because you get nervous. Its a circle with no end. Could someone in the family go to the Doc with you???????

Allan

[paula]

Allan if you look on the date of this post, it was a bit ago & NO! I cannot ask any of my family to go with me (personal reasons). Not trying to criticize you or anything but, you already asked whether any of my family can attend my appointments with me twice already in previous post. Look over previous post and you will see for yourself?

Regarding the Valium situation, I'm afraid that went out the window a bit back. I were on Valium 10mg 4x times a day (Blue Tablet) but they won't give them to me now as I overdosed on them. That's when I ended up in hospital and they have told me that they will NEVER PRESCRIBE THEM TO ME AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE! BECAUSE I O-D ON THEM!

By the way, Thank you Butterfly29 for you reply