Elijah Posted November 2, 2010 Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 HelloI have problems and decisions to make that will affect direction of my life. I am almost 18. I was born in what outsiders would call a traditional Amish community. Until little more of a year ago I had never been out side of my community. At 16 the time comes for exploring sampling all that is around. From 16 to 19 known as Rumspringa Now away and learning about how most of the rest of the world lives. Many many new experiences I have had. The ability to access so much knowledge and be a part of another world is amazing to me. Many beautiful, enlightening also frightening findings. Beginning when I was a youngin always been known as a shy sensitive soul. Out in the world I have learned lots of the scared I have felt for years could be anxiety. For some months I thought maybe my fear grew from all that is new to me. New friends, new dress and etiquette technologies of amazingness. I do not know if I have a disorder from youngin time that has become worse or if it is because of all the new and my need to make soul defining decision.I need to decide if I would like to return home and be baptized living within my communities beliefs or stay out in this new world. There are many things I think I might like to do that I would not be able to if I returned. I love my family and community with all my heart.It is hard for me to decide or understand how much anxiety is born within me to begin with. The Elders advise me of my not having any disorder. They say it is expected growing pains.I come to mental help to get help and other's thoughts.Thank you for listening.Elijah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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