Fustrated

[Waiting]

I am looking for support, but no matter where I go online I am judged a monster. I need to talk about my predicament so have people understand, but when I do I am attacked. I need to talk about it but I can not. I need to do something, but I can not. It seems the only person who understand is my partner and I am not allowed to talk to her. Everything is so frustrating.

Lost. alone, afraid and tired of waiting.

[finding my way]

waiting, do you feel you are being attacked here? I do not know your story, myself. I'm sorry you are hurting:( You may have said already, but are you able to see a therapist?

[Waiting]

Hi there,

I do not feel I am being attack here, it is just whatever forums I go to I either keep it to myself which defeats the point of being there to a large degree or I spill it and get attacked which of course makes me feel more alone, more afraid, more frustrated.

I have just gotten into therapy after waiting about six months as I needed to get it free as I have been without a paycheck for almost a year and a half. My therapist works with psycho-dynamics and so far seems to be suggesting that I am being irrational about feeling I have been wronged. I certainly could have him wrong, but so far it has not been much help.

[Lindamomof7]

Hi Waiting,

My new expereince in this mental health field is one of misjudgement as well at first. Communication, good and clear communication seems to be everything because of the way we are put under a microscope all the time... and of course we are not feeling well !!

No one understood me and I couldnt effectively communicate at first, well I didnt understand why I crashed into major depression and after being the patient from hell, I guess there was a point to where I said, ok I need to handle this like an adult, try to take charge and rationally act appropriately to all of the new words and feelings of the "professionals" I went to from denial to acceptance and then to really trying to understand the "professionals" point of view and not be rude and critical but the fact that I listened and challenged them in an appropriate way seems to help the relationship of therapist, Psychiatrist/patient relationship.

So the interpretation you say of irrational thinking on your part from your therapist might be a way of helping you accept that maybe there is another mode of thinking. Believe me, I have control issues, and if I was told that i would be pissed off because it feels like they are minimizing my feelings and reactions and if I am told I am irrational and I really think I wasnt then there needs to be some major discussion and figure out how best to communicate with the therpaist and me.

Communication is everything, it is how we are judged percieved and ultimatley how we react to it , so it is important in understanding who we really are....

[Waiting]

Thanks Lindamomof7,

I believe I am good at communicating as it is part of my job and people have said I am very good at it. I certainly realize that what my therapist is moving towards is not what I feel he is and I am planning to speak to him on that issue directly in an appropriate way.

That was really only a small part of it. It feels like I am struggling against almost the whole world. I know what I have done is wrong. Of "knowing" really means nothing. After all it could be part of my problem. The fact is other than people who know me or my partner or both trust us and may not understand but realize all is well, but other than that it feels all are against us. I can't withdraw to that group because the problem has expanded beyond that. Everything happening to me is based on this prejudice.

[Lindamomof7]

Good, glad you recognise that you can communicate and have validation for it.

I'm not sure I understand the other issues you have briefly talked about but it seems you have been hurt before by talking about it in the past. I guess you can post in the different sections here based on the issue at hand. I do hope you find support

[Waiting]

I certainly could post it, but inevitably it means I will be attacked and I will try to reassure people or defend myself and it will not help. In the long run I will feel even worse, more alone and frustrated.

I am sorry, this must be frustrating to you as well s you have no idea what I a talking about.

It is kind of a catch 22.

[Lindamomof7]

I do understand your predicament but I do hope you can Title it and post in the appropriate sections and ease into what you would like to talk about and hopefully you will find the support you are looking for...

Good Luck

[finding my way]

Waiting, if your issue is perceived to be harmful, like pedophilia or something like that, then yes, you could stir people up against you. I am glad you are seeing a professional on what seems to be a very difficult matter. I hope you can get the support you need to sort this out:o

[Waiting]

Thanks.

It is perceived to be harmful yes, but based on gross generalities and once people jump to that conclusion then they refuse to hear more.

Thanks

[Waiting]

I do understand your predicament but I do hope you can Title it and post in the appropriate sections and ease into what you would like to talk about and hopefully you will find the support you are looking for...

Good Luck

Thanks Lindamomof,

I will think on it and most likely try it.

The problem with easing into it is that once most people hit the thing in question then it is all over and the attacks come.

[Waiting]

Also I have no idea where I would post it.

[Lindamomof7]

well maybe try contacting Allan or one of the moderators for help to see if this is the appropriate place for you .... good luck

[Waiting]

Thanks Lindamomof7