advice

[jetsea]

My marriage is under a great deal of stress. My DH's mother will not stay out of our business. He has a 13 and 17 year old daughers. The 17 year old moved in with the his mother so she did not have to follow any rules. DH told his mother she was not doing us any favors and that she would not come back to us when she was letting her get away with any thing she wants to. This includes being with her 19 year old boyfriend at all times, failing or almost failing her high school classes, getting her a cell phone when she already had one from us, and generally coddling her with a life of no responsibility. Any time she doesn't get what she wants she runs to the DH's mother. I am a very independent proud person and I do not want the mother's input or her bullying. DH and I live in a town between where each of us work. The girls go to school in the town where DH works, so he drops them off each morning before school and picks them up there at the end of the day. I begged him when we met 3 years ago to let them go to school in the town where we lived, so I could be a part of their school lives. Have the time I do not know what goes on at school, because I hear it after the fact. The mother in law has been in the girls life from the beginning. The ex wife is a pscho and wanted to be a friend to the girls rather than a mother. We have primary custody. I am afraid the mother in law will manuever the younger girl into living with her also. DH has pretty much told me the situation is what it is and there is nothing he can do about it. I feel helpless and hopeless. His passive agressiveness drives me crazy. First, he talks about telling his mom to stay out of our business, then he says he will talk to his dad about it, then he says he's not going to spend holidays with them. The next day it is all different and he begins justifying the situation. His mother doesn't understand why everything isn't peachy keen. I want nothing to do with her. I would like to be as far away as possible. I feel like he's putting his mother before our marriage. I have told him there are 3 people in our marriage. Him, myself and of course his mother. There are times when I wish I had not married into this situation.