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Can anybody help?


victor_kaleb_kay
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I have this situation with my step dad...we seem to fight alot, no matter which personality is present. [Vic and Kaleb have trouble with him too. and Kaleb has anger issues...] But, i want to know if anyone else has had problems like this and can give me/us any advice.

We fight about little things. For example, today, I got a ride home from my girlfriends mom. I hurt my arm recently and it has been wrapped for the whole day. [My mom wrapped it.] I have been having trouble bending it because it's wrapped, so it has seriously slowed down some of the things I do at schoool during the day. I took a long time getting my stuff together after the last period of the day and my girlfriend and I both missed the bus, so she called her mom and got us a ride. I texted Jon [my step dad] right away informing him I was getting a ride. [for the record, I also told my mom] He didn't reply but my mom later texted me saying he was wondering why I wasn't home and that he was in a bad mood and to proceed with caution. And so I did heed her warning of course. I got home and right away with his attitude. He said he didn't want me getting rides anymore, that I was supposed to ride the bus. And I calmly asked him if he would rather me walk if I missed the bus than call for a ride. He got angry saying that I had said it in a manner he did not like and that he was just about ready to, and I quote, "Turn you around and swat you--" where I interrupted with saying that I hadn't said it with an attitude and that it was simply a question. He stormed off. And now I guess it is suddenly resolved, but how can I try to prevent situations like this from popping up? It really stresses me out, and with school and Victor and Kaleb and my girlfriend to worry about also, I have enough stress. Plus, it upsets my mom. HELP!

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Hi,

When i'm around my parents i suffer exactly the same problem. I'm 25 now and don't see them as much, we don't argue so much now either but when i was younger (around your age i guess), we used to argue over little things like 'me responding in the wrong manner', the fact i had somehow complained about something and blamed it on them etc.

Best thing to do, if you feel an atmosphere building up, go out of the house for a bit. Even if you are just outside, being out of the way can diffuse the situation quickly.

See if it works for you, that is how i used to do it...

Take Care...

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Well, it's not easy being a teenager, and it's not easy being the Dad of a teenager. I know, I've been both. ;-)

The best bet, in dealing with anybody in life, is to approach them when you're both calm. It can't hurt to state your own intention up front, like "I just want to make all this work smoothly for next time." It doesn't hurt to address the other person's concerns first, either. For instance, there is a reason that he was angry; it can't hurt to ask what that reason is. It could be the change of plans, it could be concern for you. It could be lots of things, none of which you can address until you know what they are. :-)

This will also be a chance to say that you were late because of your current injury rather than procrastination; he might not have thought of that. And, you could ask him what he would rather you do, instead of telling him.

And hey, I can't guarantee any of it will work. As I say, it can be difficult to deal with parents at the best of times. You probably won't be able to prevent stressful situations, no matter what you do.

I also wonder what your mother thinks about all this. Do they try to work together, as parents?

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malign, to answer your question, my mom knows how my step dad and I fight often and sometimes she tries to help cool us off and she tries to help us get along. She doesn't like that we fight and I know Jon and I try our hardest not to...I guess we just have clashing feeling or something. I know he's a great guy. I mean...he married my mom and makes her happy. He accepted my mom even though she had already had a child with another man. I love him, I do. And I show him as many times a day as I can. I wrote him a poem called 'My Idol' once. But sometimes it is hard. Thanks for understanding. And thanks for the advice. I'll try something. Hopefully we won't fight as much now that I have people here helping me. haha

Again, Thanks a million

Your always truly

~Kayla Mina and the other two nutballs

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