Not freaking, as well as, Not faking it

[MikaDandra]

I have a friend who met someone she knew from highschool online. They talked and whatever. She was more like glued to him no matter how much she knew he was bullishing her around. She wanted it, or more so allowed it to happen, foolishly none the less. Anyways, at one point she stopped, realized that the person he actually wanted to be with was not her and never would be. She cried day in and day out for about a full month then afterwards it became less and less. Ever since she's stopped he's been questioning me about why she's not trying to get near him anymore. I struggle with it. I want to tell him but not so sure I should. If I did it would be like this:

She realized her faults in this situation and thought it was about high time she stopped. The things that you said to jab right back at her was what she was expecting and fully excepts all feeling towards it. Yes, she admits morally and respectivally things were all wrong. She can't undo what happened but now that it has happened she knows and so do you. You now know her character and for that matter where she works. The situation will not be forgeten although she wishes every minute it would go away. Life isn't that easy she'll still recieve backlash from it, thats kinda a known fact. She's done now though, she knows its not you and just wants to move on and continue to work through life.

Erm, I don't know maybe it should be said maybe not. I just want her to be able to tell him and not me... but I guess when she's ready she will.

Ta Da Nov. 17th 10

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Mika,

I don't know what to say about this dilemma except to tell you what I have experienced with this type of thing, not as a therapist, but in my personal life. I have found that its best to not get involved. What I mean is that its the person in the middle who gets hurt. I would advise your friend to contact her and that they work it out together. No, in my opinion, its best not to carry messages back and forth. However, others may disagree with me.

What do others think??

Allan