Luna- Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Have you read this thread SoO? I have a long post there which addresses some of these points. If this place is bringing you down, then maybe you're right to go. You can take a break, too. This place can be depressing sometimes with all the sad needs and the rapid turnover of members, and it shouldn't be a burden - then it isn't helping you.And yeah, we are having a huge issue with spambots registering in droves. It's hard to see who is actually online now. I also hear your depression talking, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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randomperson Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 What’s the point to keep trying? People aren’t that interested. I already spend most of my time watching them come and go and counting invisible ones. How much more harmful can it get? You think this is a no lose situation. Think again. First time in this thread. People do care. I am sorry that you are hurting. Check out Linda's post about why people don't reply. Lot of the views are bots. I wish I knew what to say. I feel I mess stuff up so much sometimes. But I am listening and we all care that you are hurting and hope you stay with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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malign Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Well, you have to decide what's too difficult for you, SoO. It's quite possible, as Luna says, that some other option would work better for you."What's the point" is a depression argument, though. My response would tend to be to ask it whether it has a better idea.For what it's worth, I'm interested, and I'm here if you decide to try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 SoO, do you feel crushed or taken over by the superego:(? I haven't read the article yet, but I know a little about Freud's model. Each of the components of the psyche have a role, and when things get out of balance, or were never allowed to develop properly in the first place, there can be a great deal of pain. From what you have said about yourself, you have never been properly seen or mirrored.... is that fair to say? There is a great deal of pain in that. A critical voice can loom out to "match" that bad feeling, and those searing thoughts can loop and loop endlessly. There are truths outside of that dynamic, SoO. The Id has her energy and joy to offer, the Ego can set sail and find a job for you and an income and a way to make it in the world doing what you are good at. I am sorry you are in so much pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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randomperson Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 I know you are hurting right now. You know what is best for you to do.If this hurts you take a break from it.But I think you are hurt wanting to believe others hate you because it is easier to deal with.. easier to be alone.. like you have been so much.I know because I felt those feelings.. I so often want to hate people.Try to think the worst just so I can .. so I can feel 'normal' in my solitude and pain. But I will say one thing. It isn't just triggers causing us to write back.We do care.When you hurt so deeply it feels like life itself is about to end.. it does something to you.You never see the world in the same way again. But you feel the pain others go through.. you understand and want to help them feel better. You care, truly care. So many of us have came on here for different reasons.. different pains.. but we all are seeking help.. comfort.. friends.. answers. We all share this in common. It unites us. That is why this place is so different. We all know that extreme pain. Where it feels the world itself has turned against you, where you see no hope, no point. All you see is the black void. But if you keep hanging on there is always calms in the storm. If we take the baby steps together it will be easier for all of us. If you need people to listen we are here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 I am sitting here, reading this and I would like to help, but I don't know what you need and I am a little afraid you'll growl at me if I get it wrong. What would help you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 SoO, my use of the metaphor of "depression talking" was not intended to deny you as a person. I simply used it because it described fairly well how _I_ felt when _I_ was depressed. If your experience is different, by all means describe it. I will learn more about you, that way.I'm not sure I can reassure you very much about the other question, whether you've just triggered a fixed action pattern in one of the idiots, because, well, I recognize what I can prove logically and what I can't. Even though I realize this, I could still be an idiot.One of the things I struggle with, in trying to reach you, is that you're both a logical, intelligent person, and also angry and depressed. Whenever I address one, the other switches over to parry me. I'm not easily scared off, though. I may not be effective, but I'm persistent. ;-)You may be missing a point: there is no action of mine that can make you "leave the room." That part's your job. Nor do I know, from the other end of this very narrow network cable, which actions of mine help and which hurt, in achieving your goal. That's where I need your feedback.If you need me to shut up so you can go, I can do that. {Accept it for the moment as an unproven premise.} But if I believe I can help by paying attention, then I will do that, instead.Like Luna asked, what would help you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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malign Posted January 26, 2011 Report Share Posted January 26, 2011 A person can be logical and intelligent and still feel. One might even say "must be". But don't try to make the feeling follow any kind of logic.The "switch" that I spoke of was only in which part responded to me at any given time. I'm certain that you're a whole "you" the entire time.I'll be listening in case you find something I can help with. And I'll try not to count on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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randomperson Posted January 27, 2011 Report Share Posted January 27, 2011 I am re reading a book called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, it deals with retraining your thoughts early on. I find it is what I need to do myself.. just hard to do. It is easier to ignore the pain..I use it as a security blanket often because there is so much of it part of me wants to turn the pain into something good I guess.. but it warps it.. warps my mind. And this is me, where I am right now. Maybe you are right maybe you do need to take a break get out make new friends.. only you know what is best.. what will help you. Regardless I hope you hop in time to time to say hello Please don't give up hope on people. It will sink you deeper in depression if you start to hate the world.. I know because I do it so often. It is a quick fix that masks the pain but makes the problem worse. Essentially you are saying to yourself my negative thoughts are right and this starts a downward cycle feeding the pain.Talk out what is hurting you. You are seeing the effects right now.. we need to go into the actual thing hurting you to see if we can help you feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 SoO, what has your experience been like with older men with superpowers? What was your father like? Those are the kinds of things you would explore if you were in therapy.... the idea is to get to the feelings that are wounded and the thoughts that are distorted and get to your true needs and address them. From what you have told us you have felt angry and hurt in your family, but those feelings have been belittled or ignored. You have been able to develop your intellect, and it works well in many situations, but your feelings are continually ignored by others and your needs go unmet. Am I way off? It is very difficult to connect with others if you believe they will not see you, not understand you, only see your ability to help them, or only see how intelligent you are. That is very painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted January 28, 2011 Report Share Posted January 28, 2011 Hah! You give me such an air of mystery, not to mention superpowers ... :-)I generally think of myself as an aging nerd with too many responsibilities. I wonder which of us is closer to "reality".And I would venture to suggest that you just did relate to me in a way other than anger or teasing, and you didn't even need a download: you simply told me what you are experiencing. I felt like you might be seeing me for the first time ... Thank you.I agree with 'finding'. Whether you explore it "out loud" with us or not, gradually trying to tease apart the reasons for one's responses is the only thing I know that works in trying to rewire them.And I'm sorry, by proxy, for whatever caused your anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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randomperson Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Your answers are not wrong. What is at the heart of what is hurting you?What is causing your pain right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 I'm sorry, I don't understand. Who said your responses are "wrong"?Who are you fighting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hey there SomethingOrOther, I read through this thread , and it took a lot of turns. For me, a little hard to follow. I wanted to address your orginal concern though. That of helping you with the PMS . I am no DR> However, I'd like to suggest to you that have your Thyroid glands checked out by your mendical DR. A simple blood test is all it takes. I was found out to have hypothyroid , which makes the PMS far worse. I become more depressed and gloomy , not to mention snappy . I only discovered the connection because their was a pattern in my behaviors. WHen it got real bad, I would even turn to self harm. Just a thought , and glad that you are still with us. Edit: I did not see any of your responses wrong at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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IrmaJean Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 Of course it is your choice about what you wish to discuss or not. The fact that you don't want to talk actually says a lot too. The very things that bring up anger are exactly what you'd want to be exploring if you want to understand where it's coming from and why. I have a feeling you already knew that, though. If you were to talk and consider things, and I accept that this is entirely up to you, I would ask where is it or what is it about Malign's posts that make you angry? Find the center and its cause. Feel free to ignore this. Your choice.There is nothing I want to talk about now and I want people to accept that. Do you feel...or have you felt...that others don't accept your choices?I accept if you choose not to reply. I don't wish to aggravate you any further, SoO. I wish you well. There were some things in your post that stood out to me and I thought to mention them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 I accept it.You're welcome to talk, or not to, wherever and whenever you need.If you choose to, I'll listen; if you choose not to, I can accept.I hope you take care of yourself, either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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