Anyone Relate?

[58corvette]

Please dont get me wrong; I am finding this site very helpful with many Good, Caring, Helpful people. Such as Waiting, Linda & others that slip my mind with their names?

The one thing however for me that I have found is at this point in their own lives you all have a suggnificent other (who loves, understands & cares for you) in your lives.

My questions is there anyone on this site (man or woman) who is lonely & single struggling with that and other Mental Issues? Please dont get me wrong Im not looking to date someone here on this site. I am just trying to find other people here that I can relate to currently in a similar situation that I can help & be helped.

I am not gay, so that isnt an issue. Just hoping to find others who are also lonely, scared, frustrated & hoping for love & understanding again. I do know that in order to find that you have to get better yourself first & no own is attracted to someone with so many issues.

That being said; I am just hoping to talk to someone here who I can relate to; that may be at a similar time in their Life Right Now? I hope to here from others. Lonliness without Love & Understanding is such a Killer!!!

[flander]

I haven't had a "significant other" since my wife stopped coming home 10 years ago. Music and message boards have helped some. My dad used to call to check in with me about every weekend or so, but he died a couple years ago. Now I do the checking in with my mom.

[Guy Out There]

Hi,

i can relate also... Never really had a serious relationship since i was diagnosed and suffered with PTSD (still haunts me now)..

I've had a few short term things and while i seem at times to have this strange subtle chalm with some women, it leads nowhere, i always run into an emotional barrier and just become cold and distant.

Lonliness forced me to do all sorts of 'crazy' things to just have someone to talk to who wasn't my family or a friend i've known for years etc.

I can't offer you love (i'm not gay!), but i can offer a little understanding as can others here, take care...

~Guy

[demeter]

Friends can be a big help in getting through the tough stuff as well.

[Endlessnight]

Hi 58Corvette,

you wrote:

The one thing however for me that I have found is at this point in their own lives you all have a suggnificent other (who loves, understands & cares for you) in your lives.

I don't think that is necessarily true, but even if it were, it is no guarantee of happiness or the peace that a lot of us are looking for.

I do understand what you are saying, and what you are feeling though. I have been alone for most of my life. Partly my own fault - my unwillingness or inability to connect to anything or anyone - partly my circumstances. On one of my blogs I wrote about how much I want to experience love, the giving and taking of it. It is a basic need in all of us I guess. What I have come to realise now though, is that love cannot be the be-all or end-all of my life, I need to learn to like myself, accept myself and my life first. It has taken me a long time to realise this, and i'm still struggling with it, saying it is easy, knowing it and believing it, is the hard part. I still get overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness. I'm trying to find and channel all the love I have inside of me to places other than the romantic kind of love that we are talking about - in friendship - I feel I have made friends here on this site, and I know they accept me for what I am and that I accept them as they are - in family - I love my neices and nephews very much.

We are all flawed human beings. Maybe here, we can help each other on this journey we have to take through our lives. I hope so.

Take care.

I seem to have rambled on here and sound like I have everything figured out all neat and tidy. I apologise. I am just as lost and lonely as you are, (read my quote underneath) and I hope you know I understand how you feel.

[58corvette]

After Posting my Reply the screen went blank AGAIN & deleted my responce; so I will try Again?

FLANDER: My parents also helped. They were married 60yrs. My Dad passed away this January. He aged Gracefully. I will miss him.

DEMETER: You are correct; Friends do help. For me I focused so much on my Marriage, Family & work; I either lost, fell out of contact or did'nt connect with other people.

GUY: I believe I also suffer from a form of PTSD. Death & Divorce have been Brutal for me. Your understanding, & Relating HELPS.

ENDLESSNIGHT: You did not ramble whatsoever. Your Statement & Quote is very Thoughtful & Insightful.

To all of you THANK YOU SO MUCH. It helps more than you know. I hope to continue to Relate, Be Helped & help whenever I can.

[Luna-]

I am going to move this useful discussion to General Support, so we can leave the New Members Forum for new members.