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What to tell my kids


Athena

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I cut myself last Tuesday where I thought it would never be seen. Unfortunately both my daughters (5 and 9) saw the marks over the past week when I was changing ( I had totally forgot about it). My 9 year old came right out and said to me today, " I know what you did, you cut yourself, and don't lie to me.". She's only ever seen it once before, back in July and that was enough incentive for me to stop cold turkey - until recently.

Frankly, she floored me. Once I regained my composure, I told them "I have a problem, and i'm getting help for it and seeing a doctor 4x a week to help me stop and that it doesn't mean I'm trying to kill myself". But I don't know if that's good enough. I fear this will come back to haunt me when they are teenagers. Any suggestions? Allan, I'd particularly like to hear from you.

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I think your daughters could have two outcomes, that i see anyways, one would be throwing it in your face and they other would be that they become more loving and understanding children seeing someone you know go through something like that can give a person great understanding of others in similar situations which would make your daughters more caring. But I think it simply depends on that child's views and if they are able to turn a bad situation into something they can learn from. Those are just my views :(

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Hi Athena,

I have always been a strong proponent of honesty with my kids. I think it is important that you are honest with them and I think what you have done is a good start. Personally I would tell her that thongs are going on that cause you issues and as strange as that seems that leads you to cutting yourself. You are trying very hard not too, and you are seeing a doctor to help. You can possibly suggest things she can do to help you. Talk to her and ensure she does not feel guilty about it as well.

Waiting

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