sadgreeneyes Posted November 19, 2010 Report Share Posted November 19, 2010 Maybe it sounds silly to write this as I am thinking is it me there is something wrong with. Sometimes I start talking luvy duvy words to my husband ( we are not in same country yet, he will come in about 6-8 months, so I am getting frustrated as I wish he was more sexual with luvy duvy words...being a little dirty but in a loving way. He never say anything like this. I am getting frustrated and have asked him several times why he never say something to me, he say he thinks about making love and all just like me but that he keeps quitet. I have promised myself before over and over again not to ever talk to him like this again because he never do and it hurts me, when I say this to him that I will never talk again about this he say nooo and that I can talk and that its normal. But I say why should I talk when I am the only one. He always say to me after a while please let us change subject now. And at same time when I had said I will never ever talk again about this then he said did I want to make him in bad mood now. So he say both can we change the subject now and at same time say I make him in bad mood for saying I will never ever talk about it again. I said of course I dont want him in bad mood.. only that why should I talk when he doesn`t. Its not fun being the only one to say things how I miss him this way ( he was virgin before marrying me). I feel hurt and now I wonder is it me there is something wrong with? Is it normal to get hurt by this? I am getting frustrated because I feel he doesnt want to be sexual with me, neither physical when I met him( performance anxiety) and not verbally. Why do I get so frustrated I ask myself. I know I´ve been in several abusive r/ships before and I am used to that the men are little rough and very sexual. Now I have married a virgin and it feels like I have to fight for my life to get him to be sexual with me.And I wonder am I not normal who wants him to talk little dirty to me? I need to know and feel that he desires me and I dont know that as he had performance anxiety. He say he wish everything like me but why it is so hard to talk little dirty in a loving way saying he misses me that way.Is it me who have a too big gap between abusive r/ships and a healthy r/s?Is it me who acts aggressive or feeling hurt because I ask for this and not get it? I feel like a criminal when I want him to talk like that to me.Is it me there is something wrong with?As I know myself I am attracted to the bad guys, thats why I always met abusive guys and bad guys always behave little dirty. I wish my husband was more like them both physical and now verbally as I wish to know does my husband desire me. I have to admit I think about my husband and I wish he did this and that to me, but still want him to be not abusive. Why do I have fantasies that my husband would be rough when I want a healthy r/ship? Is that normal? I am talking more than the "normal rough". I even fantasize he be sexually abusive but still love me genuine. So if I have met a nice husband is it like nice men doesnt talk like this?I feel I`m making myself vulnerable so I have promised myself I will never talk ever again that I misses him this way. How can that make him in bad mood, shouldnt it be me being in bad mood? Or maybe all is wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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