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Is this weird?


kioku
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I was speaking to my therapist the other day( I have OCD) and I realized something. I have never really been aroused before.. No matter what, even by porn. I'm a seventeen year old girl and I have fantasies about a sweet boy/girl trying to comfort me and tell me everything is okay, but I've never had a sexual fantasy. I think guys(And some girls) are cute, but I've never really been turned on. I mean, no one believes me when I tell the I've never masturbated before.

I have barely any sexual desire. I was wondering if it meant there was something wrong with me.

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Unfortunately, I've never been a 17 year old girl (I'm a 23 year old man), so this may not weigh too heavily with you,

BUT,. there's nothing wrong with chastity. Just because you're not interested in sexuality doesn't mean you need to worry yourself. I know that this generation is advancing through the final frontiers of modesty rather rapidly, but remember that periodically throughout the existence of mankind for long eras of time women were almost completely devoid of sexual interest, instead seeing the act of intimacy as nothing more than a duty performed in marriage. Obviously this is a misogynist point of view and shouldn't be an example to base yourself upon, but the overall point I'm trying to put into perspective here is that the only things telling you there's something wrong with sexual apathy are circumstantially developed by those who are not sexually indifferent. And hey, it's far healthier to be the way you are. Be comfortable with yourself and don't allow anything else to tell you that you shouldn't be.

Lastly, it may very well be that you just haven't found what flips that switch yet, just don't feel pressured to go looking for it. This kind of thing should always be on your own terms.

Hope that helps.

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Hi Kioku,

In times like this i like to remind myself of my definition of normal. Normal is simply someone we don't know well enough yet. Don't be too concerned with normal or conversely "weird".

My daughter is a bit younger than you, but not much. She will be 16 in six months. She is currently what I would call asexual. She has no sexual desires at all. She has had crushes on boys and even a boyfriend but no sexual feelings and also has never masturbated. (I know, it sounds weird that a father would say these things with confidence, but we are very open in our conversations with one another and I am confident of this.) My partner is also friends with a few asexual people.

Wikipedia has an article on this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality that you may find of interest.

Waiting

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Hi Kioku,

I sort of have the same "problem." At times, I have labeled myself as Asexual, but I'm not sure if that's a good fit. I have also looked into Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Boy, that's a mouthful, right?

The good thing is you don't have to chose or label yourself. Sexuality is fluid and you may find that later, you are a sexual being. If not, well, there surely are others like you...like me...like us! :o

Another thing to consider is if you're taking meds or feel depressed as that could be a factor.

In the meantime, you could read about asexuality on asexuality.org. It's a pretty good website. It's similar to this one and everyone's pretty supportive. I hope that helps!

Good luck! And if you need to chat, don't hesitate to message me.

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