Candle Posted October 2, 2008 Report Share Posted October 2, 2008 (edited) Hello, everyone.I've been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 6 years. Unfortunately, due to the fact that my mother (who very well may have had borderline personality disorder) was abusive and I have a history of being abandoned and otherwise betrayed by those close to me, I have been abusing my significant other. Mostly psychologically and verbally. I've never physically abused him.Understandably, he is extremely hurt and angry with me right now and our relationship is teetering on the edge of ruin. I, personally, have confronted my inner demons and determined the cause of my abusive behavior (fear of abandonment/infidelity/need for acceptance and attention) and no longer feel the need to be abusive.We both want to go back to the happy times before the abuse became prevalent, but we need to try to get him past the pain and anger that are overwhelming him right now.But he is still upset and he is claiming the wounds will never heal. I'm wondering if there are any methods I can use to demonstrate I have overcome my abusive tendencies. I know I won't be able to convince him overnight, but any advice is welcome and greatly appreciated.EDIT: His mother and I have determined that bringing up relationship issues simply triggers him, by reminding him of the abusive fights we had. So talking about it, currently, does not make things any easier for either of us.I'm also in what I guess is called the "honeymoon" period. I'm not sure how long such a period usually lasts, but it's been about two weeks and I have no been abusive. Is this a good sign that I've broken the cycle or am taking steps toward that? Edited October 2, 2008 by Candle More info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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