Should this worry me?

[sadgreeneyes]

I havent forgot it but just pushed the words out of my mind. Very early on before I went down to Jordan to marry my husband who is muslim he said that if the internet boss had read his mail or seen what he does online he would crush his head.

Should these words worry me my husband can be violent?

I know statements like these usually comes from abusive men, but I was thinking maybe he just said it.

[IrmaJean]

Hi, greeneyes. I've noticed that you experience a lot of anxiety about many different things, though recently much of this seems to be around your husband. Do you feel that your anxieties interfere with your daily life? Worrying all of the time can be very distressful! Are you currently seeing a therapist? I'm sorry if I've forgotten about this. How well do you feel you know your husband? If you are uncomfortable responding to this question (or any of my questions), there is no need to do that here. Maybe some things for you to think about, though.

I hope things improve for you. Take care.

I also wanted to mention that I deleted your other post that was a repost of this. It might be easier to understand the responses if they are all in one place.

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi IrmaJean,

thanks for replying,you know this has nothing to do with me, I "know" words like these usually comes from abusers. I think this post would be better being in the abuse category. I do have some issues still, have been in abusive r/ships so I know it is a red flag for a "would be abuser", its just that I was thinking did he just say it, but I am not sure. There are two other red flags too.

[IrmaJean]

I can move this to that section for you if you'd like.

I'm sorry this concern about your husband has been upsetting to you. Have you ever seen him display any violent behavior in the past?

[sadgreeneyes]

Thank you IrmaJean,

no I havent seen him being violent but there are 3 red flags that I shouldnt ignore.

1. quick involvement, he wanted me to commit after only one week of knowing him and that over cam.

I though maybe he asked so early because it was common in their culture, but after what Dr. Sam Vaknin says its a bad sign no matter prevailing cause as its not arranged marriage.

2. He pressured me with some sexual stuff even first night down there. I was thinking maybe he was just too eager as he was a virgin. But I dont think that is the case as he was making fierce face while shaking his head to make me obey and not be shy. He didnt stop nagging, so it was pressure. Also asking if I would let him have intercourse with me if he wake me up from sleep.

3. The threat he made about the internet boss. Threats directed towards others is a sign of abuse. Even my husband just said it to me its not good I think.

Beside these flags there is a couple other things that is not red flags but that would be seen as odd.

I cannot ignore it, but I hope he will treat me good.

[sadgreeneyes]

I know I ask should I worry at same time I say it is signs of abuse. I think I more doubt how do the experts really know this or this is abuse. Like him marrying me so fast, yes they say it is hugh red flag no matter what, but what if he was just a person who just did this. What if he looked at me like he would look at a woman in an arranged marriage. But I think I have problems understanding the seriousness in the red flags because I know it still is red flags even so.