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Need some advice/help


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I'm Todd and fairly new here. I don't know what my problem is. I've battled depression and anxiety for the better part of my life. I just turned 40 in August.

Since I've turned 40 I've noticed I've started to take a nose dive. I feel like a total failure in life. I've never been married, have next to no friends. My best friend died in 2008. Since then I've just been lost.

I've been doing freelance AV work for group events. I traveled a lot this year. I don't like what I do. I've been working for myself for four years. I feel as if life has passed me by. I want to change but don't know what. I've never know what I've wanted to do with my life.

I just have this overwhelming feeling of being a failure and a loser. It's beating me up. My thoughts are toxic. I can't stop beating myself up.

On the plus side I recognize what I am doing to myself. I'm sick of feeling this way and have an appointment today with a counselor. I'm trying to take the right steps. I don't even know where to begin. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

Not sure exactly where to begin with my appointment tonight. I'm nervous, but hopeful talking will help me feel better.

Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank so much.

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