Friend's Suicide Attempt

[SongBird]

Yesterday, one of my best friends almost killed himself. I'm in total and utter shock. He's getting help now, but...it hasn't sunk in for me yet.

[shanrucas]

Songbird, my thoughts and prayers go out to you, as well as my heart. This is a difficult thing, but I am glad your friend is safe and getting help

Shannon

[SongBird]

Thank you, Shannon. I was totally shocked and devastated when I realized what was going on. I'm still just so totally stunned...

[Waiting]

It is not an easy thing to cope with. My girlfriend was suicidal before and I went through a few such experiences, it was terrifying.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Songbird,

In my practice, I frequently encountered this very same thing with my patients. In fact, in some cases, the suicide was completed. I can assure you that it is always shocking. It rocks us right down to our very souls. To be honest, in many cases, I have found the surviving friend or relative to not only shocked but angry as well. We find it easier to admit to shock and grief but much harder to anger at the person.

We are with you, here to be warmly supportive of you.

How are you coping and what are you thinking?

Allan

[SongBird]

I'm not mad at him for what happened--I can understand where he was coming from and what drove him so far. I'm just so scared it's going to happen again...I saw him today and couldn't let go of his hand the whole time. I'm still in shock,I think--I haven't cried yet, although I've been on the verge of tears for the past few days. What with finals and work, it's almost like I'm not actually thinking anymore, just tripping through life where I used to walk fairly smoothly. It's. . .it's beyond words, how hard this is.

[shanrucas]

Songbird, I once was in your shoes a long, long time ago. A friend of mine committed suicide successfully. I was devasted, and like you in shock for quite awhile. After the funeral I will admit I became angry at him leaving me and not letting me have the chance to talk to him. I think for the following year I went through so many levels of emotions about it that I couldn't think straight. Now as I am older, I can understand maybe where he was coming from, the pain that he must of felt that he thought ending his life was the only option he had...it still makes me sad to this day, he was artistic and talented in music and writing, I wonder if he hadn't made the choice he did where would he be or like now.

Hang in there Songbird, seek someone to talk to about this. No Matter what happens after this if you want to be there for him you must take care of yourself as well. (((hugs)))

[Waiting]

Things like this have a tendency to make us numb. We don't know what to feel, we don't want to feel. We know we are in many ways powerless to prevent what we are afraid from happening and we really don't want it to.

I understand completely not wanting to let go of their hand. You are afraid of letting go. If you don't let go they will not "go".

There s also the recognition of how much pain there is in their life that brought them to this.

Waiting

[SongBird]

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and support. I'm slowly coming to terms with what happened. It's still very hard (obviously), but I'm just so glad he's alive! If he had died...*shudders*

I didn't know how much I needed him until I almost lost him. He didn't realize how much he loved life until it was almost gone; one of the first sentances out of his mouth when I saw him (after hugging him really hard and trying not to cry) was "Oh, God, Song, what did I almost lose??" That...that was huge.

[Lindamomof7]

....................

[SongBird]

Thanks, Linda, I've been seeing him every day I can, which has benefitted both of us, I think. He has no family left except for his little sister, and she's unable to visit him at the hospital because she's very ill and can't leave her house, which is incredibly difficult for the both of them. He doesn't have a laptop, so I've been running letters back and forth between them for a bit. I do what I can.