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The point is?

Guest deadman

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Deadman, I want to welcome you to the forum. I'm sorry that you are feeling so depressed. Have you seen a doctor about the physical problems you've described? It must be very frightening to be going through, especially when you are alone and without support.

I'm not really sure what you mean by a "member convinced you"...but things can change for the better if you are open to the possibility. There is always hope. You just have to find your way to it. Take care tonight.

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Physical symptoms/illnesses can manifest due to emotional stress as well. Perhaps if you began to feel healthier emotionally, there might be ways to help with your physical condition.

I've noticed that you are judging yourself pretty harshly right now. One of the first places to begin healing is with self-care. Try being gentle with yourself.

Whether you stay here on the site or not is your choice, but I want you to feel welcome here. I do hope you will stay. We would like to get to know you better. Whatever your decision may be, I want to wish you well tonight. I'm sorry for your pain.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Deadman,

You certainly chose a pseudo name that expresses how you feel!

When you say that people do not want to be around you I do not understand why? Why do people find you to be intolerable

What caused your physical simptoms? What is causing you to gradually decline? At least tell us more about yourself so we can better understand you. Other than the fact that you seem very angry and depressed and have some type of illness, we don't really know what is going on and it would help us to know more about you.


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Given that there is so much about the world that is out of our control, it does make some sense to focus on the part we can work with: our own thoughts. I am sorry so many around you treat you so poorly.:o. How are you doing with treating yourself well? Most of us struggle with that part as much as with how others treat us, so I ask.:o

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I mean no disrespect, but does the glass half full stuff actually help people?

Thinking in terms of gray can be helpful, yes. Holding out optimistic hope can be helpful, yes.

All I can go on is practical experience in a long life that points to this existence being one of misery, stress, frustration, anger, and pain with occasional short respites that do nothing but emphasize how miserable the vast majority of life is.

Perhaps your mind has focused on what has been painful rather than seeing the light of what may be joyful.

Of course you could go in for a frontal lobotomy and just reduce your metal capacity to where you are simply unaware of what is around you.

Actually I believe the opposite. The more aware you are of yourself and what is around you, the more your eyes will open to what is beautiful and hopeful. This is not about fairy tales, I don't think, it's about breathing in the moments and knowing that the struggle is part of the journey.

But if all this is true, then why is the solution for depression to get you stoned out of your gourd?

My cousin is a psychiatrist and he once explained to me the scientific nature of what makes SSRIs work. There are connections in the brain that simply don't fire for some and these medications help the needed connections to happen. This is not "getting stoned" but helping oneself to function more capably.

I am fully aware of them and when I say that I am avoided at best and reviled often I know what I am saying. This is not a fantasy or delusion and those who know me best have attested to this and are dismayed by it - and can offer no practical explanation.

Have you looked to a practical explanation? I was generally avoided throughout school. I always thought this was because no one liked me. I was, in fact, projecting a lot of fear and anxiety and so others were likely wary of approaching me. Once I changed my demeanor and the way I presented myself, there was a noticeable difference in the way others responded to me.

It means we never have to face being human, accept others as humans, face sad reality, or even face inconvenience because we can all pretend we are who we portray in our online fantasies.

Writing has opened up my world. I've always had great difficulty expressing myself verbally so this has been good practice. I do think your point is noted, face-to-face contact is certainly the best way to interact with others. But being limited in our communication here doesn't mean we don't truly care.

They do not actually care about you.

I'm certain mine cared about me. I imagine that most do care a great deal.

In fact they have a code that tells them to expressly avoid becoming engaged in any real personal way with their "clients". Not people - clients - because by using a euphemism for a human being and having a clear written policy you never have to actually have one near you unless you are being paid for it and you have a wall around you to make sure you never get soiled by one of the unwashed and unhappy masses.

Your thinking is a bit distorted here. The therapeutic boundaries are put in place to protect you and the therapist so that you can have the best care. This is with the intent to keep you safe and protected from harm.

We are arrogant enough to delude ourselves into believing that the only thing we need do is be aware of the issue and not that we actually have to DO anything about it.

Awareness is the first step to doing something about it.

Perhaps some day someone will listen to that and actually DO something about it instead of suggesting ways I can keep an upbeat frame of mind while the beating goes on unabated.

The work of "doing something about it" would be up to you. What do you think about giving it a try?

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I can tell that you are very angry, Deadman. I am very sorry if anything that I wrote was upsetting to you. This is never my intention. I do come from a positive place and have strong idealistic tendencies. This is my genuine self. I hear your anger.

I am not disillusioned enough to see anything that does not exist. Such as good that is not there. Just saying it is so or surmising that it may exist does not make it so.

Yes, there is a lot of suffering in the world. This is true and it is very sad. It could be that you aren't ready to see that there are also good and beautiful things in the world. That might be for another time, further down the road. Maybe what you need right now is to be heard from the place you're in?

but if you have the same effects from a prescribed drug and add horrendous panic attacks, irregular and skipping heartbeats and chest pains, no discernible sex drive, and constipation, it's MUCH better, isn't it?
Is this what happened to you? That must have been very frightening. My heart jumps like that sometimes...sinus tachycardia...and it is not pleasant, I agree. Side effects must be difficult to deal with. I'm not an expert on medications, but they do seem to help many. I'm sorry this wasn't the case with you.
Certainly. I am an asshole. It's all my fault. I have done all these terrible things to myself. I asked to be tortured. I asked to be beaten. I asked to be abused. I asked to be ignored and reviled. I'm just not grateful enough to appreciate the value of these experiences and be happy about them. I am SO happy you pointed this out to me and I will immediately change my evil ways.
I'm sorry that you were hurt. It was not your fault. I understand that this must be very painful for you! I hear your pain.
No, other than the practical things such as a therapist taking advantage of the vulnerability of a 'client', what it comes down to is a caste system where therapists can pretend that they care and are just prevented from associating or acknowledging you on the street by 'policy'. I was just following orders! Translation: You really are a worthwhile human being but just not to decent professional people like me who are not head cases. You have to PAY me to pretend to care about you.
I'm sorry that you felt this way during one (or all) of your therapy relationships.
I see. So if I were to come upon you while you were being beaten and raped, or even found you after this event, my advice to you should be to suck it up and grow a set? Or maybe just downplay what happened and tell you that you should just get a better attitude and you'll get over it? Or maybe tell you to put it into perspective and realize that you probably encouraged it or really wanted it anyway, so just quit whining? Or maybe I should just remind you that the work of recovering is not my job but that it's all up to you to do this on your own?

I would never ever want to minimize your pain or your feelings, Deadman. A therapist can help you to help yourself, but you would have to allow the possibility of hope. Healing can be very hard work. Did you have some very bad experiences in therapy?

I have fought for well over 20 years to get over being tortured, and abandoned, and ignored, and left to fend on my own. When you have done so, and are a short step away from living in a refrigerator box, and are denied medical help, and are too crippled to survive on your own but have no one, please let me know how bright and cheery and upbeat you can be.
I am very sorry all of that happened to you. I'm sorry for all of your pain. :o If you are feeling angry right now, this is okay. Your feelings belong to you.

I'm sorry that no one helped you during your time of crisis. I'm here. I'll listen and try to support you.

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Hi. I don't really have a lot of experience with old people, so I'm sorry if I'm really offensive. I'm also sorry for skimming over what you've typed.

I believe therapists do care about people otherwise they wouldn't have gotten into the profession. I've never paid for a session and even when I've run away or declined their help they've always made an attempt to get me back into their help or pass on their notes to someone who will. I don't always want the help, I just think that they care.

I think that most people care about other people, it's just more difficult to care about someone who is being raped because the situation is too horrible to comprehend.

I don't know how old you are, or how acceptable suicide is in your culture and I'm sorry if this is a really horrible thing to say; my granddad killed himself, probably because he was sick of living and thought himself incapable of contributing to anything and a burden to his wife. I'm proud that he managed to prove that he wasn't incapable of doing anything and that despite his physical difficulties still had control over his life.

I don't know about you, but my granddad couldn't move anything below his neck without aid, I think as long as you are physically able to have a good life then you probably can. If you can't bring yourself to do anything then there is no point, but you might be more respected (by yourself and other people) if you at least try to make things better.

I'm really sorry of my post was incoherent or if my points were lost or if I was too blunt. I'm also sorry if I misunderstood your situation, please ignore me if I have not understood or if I've been offensive or unhelpful.

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