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My Story (bit of a long read, bare w/ me)


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So uh, hey y'all lol. It seems Im in a similar place as some of you, and I feel the need to vent for a minute. Its a bit of a long reason, so Im'a try to make this as pleasant a read as possible for someone with "our problem".

So yeah, I am a young man who has recently is started to get depressed about my penis size. Obviously I've known about it as long as anyone (lol), but I was always holding out hope that I was a "late bloomer" from hearing stories about men growing in their late teens to early 20's. Hope or whatever you wanna call it. Just a reason to hold my head up, stay confident, and not be pessimistic about life.

Its a VERY weird feeling to be in this position. Because I walk through life and see people, kids, who are in wheelchairs, blind, all types of disabilities - and I tell myself, "It could be much worse. If they aren't complaining about their position, no way should you bitch about simply having a below-average penis". And in a perfect world, that thought should be the exact mentality I should have. Too bad we live in a society that judges you based on things you can't control like this, or it would be much easier to cope with life.

I am a young man, who, by most accounts, has been considered a pretty-to-very good looking male from grade school, on. I haven't had any problems in life, even to this day, at "attracting" the opposite sex. And I never had any real "game" either, so it's what I have always relied on. Not saying I'm Brad Pitt, but my genetics have at least granted me that...too bad it didn't go much further than that. And it actually may be more of a curse than a blessing. I'll get to that later.

I haven't measured my penis in a since I was probably 17. It definitely hasn't grown since then, but its one of those things where you try to talk yourself into thinking its bigger, so you almost forget the actual number. But I'm almost sure this thing is 5 1/2 inches. The girth is the real problem. Don't know the number on that, but I'm sure is far below average.

The role my penis size plays in my life affects me in several ways, but here is what is most depressing for me -

As I stated earlier, I have always been considered a pretty good looking guy. Never had a problem getting women to notice me. But my penis size has prevented me from taking it there with anybody, even though I've had plenty of chances to throughout my life. Thus, I am a virgin. By choice basically. Which, in my head, is as disheartening as it gets. And it's funny, because when I look back at some of those situations, I obviously didn't think at 14 that my dick would never grow another inch. My outlook on life would have been so much different. I'm 100% sure I would have just went ahead and had sex, let her spread the "his dick is so little" rumors around, and just took it on the chin. Because it wouldn't have been as embarrassing then as a teen as it would be now when you're considered to be fully grown. Or maybe (and likely) it's so much easier to say that in retrospect, because you know how everything was such a big deal as a teen . . . . . But it was like, I was always waiting on it to get bigger, thus "holding myself" from whatever girl I was dealing with thinking it would eventually get at least big enough for me to feel comfortable with. Never did. (I honestly remember I used to pray to god for it to grow during those days, lol smh).

Fastforward to present time, and I'm now a grown man with shot confidence, although I do a pretty good job at concealing it in public around women. That is, until a girl actually takes a liking to me and I have to play this game where I get to know the girl, flirt when necessary, but not enough to give her the impression that I'm really interested (or that I "want it"). And if she so happen to actually get that vibe and related it back, I completely back down or shut down shut it down somehow. Basically putting myself in the damn "friendzone" out of my own insecurities. THE SAME FUCKING GAME I'VE BEEN PLAYING ALL MY LIFE. The same game that had some girls (and a few people who were close to me) wondering if I was actually gay in high school. Seriously.

Again, it's a weird position to be in. I find myself either trying to find someone to blame, or just ponder "why?", you know? Like, honestly, I'm a good guy. LMAO. But seriously, I have a good heart. What did I do to deserve this? There are men out there who are 100% douchebags, shouldn't they have to deal with this instead of me? Can there really be a god if we live in a society where men contemplate/commit suicide over something that really shouldn't be this serious? Should I blame my mom or dad for these genetics? Is there something I can still do? Did I not get enough nutrition growing up? I mean, I have very small hands as well, definitely smaller than average. Smaller than a lot of adult women I know, let alone men.

And to pour fuel on the fire, I'm an african american male and nowhere in society is having a big penis more correlated to "how much of a man you are" than in our culture. Especially in the "urban/hip-hop" world. You grow up with a predisposed notion of who you are supposed to be, and when you don't live up to that, it makes you feel like a failure.

And the funny thing is, like I said, when I was younger, I had no idea I was going to end up with this problem. So I grew up having pretty high standards when it came to what type of woman I wanted, both physically and mentally. But it's come to a point now, where, I have to do a complete re-evaluation on what type of girl I need to shoot for. The type of woman who would be willing to deal with my issues is probably not the type envisioned ending up with (not to mention, I've always had a lot of pride, and the last thing I want is a woman's "petty"). But I guess I need to change my thought process, even if it's at the expense of becoming a different person.

I am at a point where, the man I wanted to be (a perception somewhat based on the environment/culture I was raised in), thought I was going/supposed to be (and in a weird way still trying to be), and what's actually reality has come to a head. At a crossroads. Hence my screen name.

Recently, I've just been doing a lot of projecting down the road. How is my life going to end? Is this issue just going to force me to be lonely for the rest of my life? If I do end up with somebody, can I even deal with knowing I can't please that woman I should be able to? Should I just shoot for becoming as successful in life as possible so my positives can outweigh my negatives (which is easier said, b/c I'm struggling financially)? Is it even worth it? Pretty good looks, a so-so (maybe even a bit boring) personality, and a small dick doesn't take you far in life anyway.

But again, I see people less fortunate than me and it always gives better perspective, it's just such an unfortunate circumstance to deal with. I've pretty much made my mind up that I'm just going to ride this out, and just try to make the best out of a fucked up situation.

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Your post pretty much described my life. I am in the same boat as you with girth and length. The girth is the real problem. 5 1/2 length is average. I am pretty/very good looking and ffit as well and have had to find ways to reject any interest women show in me as my I have been hearing women talk shit about guys like us since I was 13. I have had the opportunity to get pussy since I was 14.

I have gotten laid very few times in my life as I have only slept with escorts/hookers. My plan is to get myself in a position where I can pay for it more often. Luckily for me, I like Asian and Indian women a lot so I plan on visiting some countries like Thailand where I can get what I need.

It would have been nice to have the experience of a girlfriend at some point but I have thrown in the towel in regards to that.

I also see people who are far worse off than me and I do acknowledge things could have been worse. Sex is the prime directive of any life form on this planet so if something is hampering one's ability to do that, it will make you a miserable bastard.

I have found things I love to do in life like boxing/martial arts etc which help to make my life more bearable and give me more of a purpose. That is the only advice I can give in regards to this situation.

I am sorry you have to go through this as well.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Pretty common theme how people who think they have a small penis seem to lack confidence in all areas of life. What's that saying? Behind every strong man is a good women or something similar? Seems to ring true. I know the brief times it has looked like I may be getting somewhere with a woman I've always been more motivated in life itself.

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I have heard that it can be hard for less endowed African Americans because there is a stereotype that "black guys are supposed to be hung". Yet another way in which stereotypes and "ideals" just make the world a less pleasant place to be.

In any case, you could have it much worse.

Like you said, you could have some serious physical disability.

You could be unattractive.

You could be gay, which I think is maybe even harder for men with small penises...mostly because, no matter what, we can probably all find someone that will love us for who we are...but when you are gay and living your life with a more endowed male partner, you will have a constant reminder EVERY DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE that you are small. (This is kind of the boat that I'm in.)

BUT at least you still have your youth. If you can, I would try to get help as soon as possible so you can change the way you think about this issue. Otherwise, you might end up like some of us, older and having wasted a larger part of our lives away wallowing in our small penis issue.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Crossroads,

I want to suggest to you that avoiding having sex is not helpful to you. Just because you believe that your penis is small and you cannot satisfy a woman, a real woman is very liable to have a different opinion and feeling about it. In other words, it is possible that having sex with a woman you get to know might be mentally healthy for you. Even if things do not workout with one woman, you still need to have a variety of experiences. Of course, if the first woman friend finds you sexually pleasing, that will be all you need to feel better about yourself.

What do you think?


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Measure lenght and girth, and find out if your problem is real or imagined. Either way the only cure available to any of us, is to change our mindset. However getting a mindset that allows you to achieve spontaneous erections requires a complete 180 in our thoughts and actions at a very very deep level. At 47 yrs this has proved impossible for myself.

Even if you or I could pull off such a feat, you will still have to put up with the humiliation, once your secret becomes known to the wider world. Which again the only thing you can do about is obtain the mindset of "people laughing at my penis does not bother me on any level. Again a mindset that is only achieveable by the insane.

Its like having no legs, and then convincing yourself you are actually 6' tall, while at the same time convincing yourself when people are in your face calling you shorty, stumpy or tiny, that those names make you happy.

Our choice's are simple really, insanity or misery.

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