sadgreeneyes Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Again me and my husband was discussing "the kiss me hold me" stuff and the "passion affection" stuff,the passion and affection he had problems showing me after we got married, as he was virgin.After we started get tired talking about this he said let us make this happen naturally, I agreed again as maybe I nag too much and that my nagging will cause him more stress and maybe he will be turned off in the end. I had also asked him would he promise to me, don`t remember quite what words I said to him...what to make him promise...but it was about promise he wants what I want..I think I said some of the words passion and things...when we ended the discussion about this he said again "let us make this happen naturally with no promise".Why would he say this to me? It made me confused and hurt.When I told him...that without any foreplay at all...to just get it over with us both and then leave to go shower, that was not love making but sex and that its two different things. Then he said so what do you want me to do? I said about foreplay and I am not sure did he like hearing about it. I just dont get it, he said how I would lay on his arm before I did go see him and for hours, and when I came he wouldnt let me even I asked him 5 times. He said he didnt know how to hold me, said he didnt know about this even he said he knew before I went see him. So what is wrong? as I know he is lying about this. And this shouldnt hurt? when I say I feel hurt or that he is hurting me being so negative, he say no I´m not hurting you or he say dont feel that way or he say I feel wrong. I dont know why he say this, but it may be he means I am wrong even I feel it other way.Later he said I have to know what he likes and that he has to know what I like. This is true of course, but how come a virgin say I have to know what he likes??? I also wonder "what does he like/want" when he doesnt seem to want the intimacy but pressuring me for oral sex instead and say stand down on the floor so he could watch me from distance. Seems like he get more turned on by that than closeness. In the night down there he choosed to nag on me to do oral sex again instead of making love as it was" too late" for making love.One day I reminded him of the day he was behind me when making love because I was wondering what in the world he was doing back there as he tried to "look in", I stopped him. He told me it was an usual thing. How come he say its an usual thing? as its far from an usual thing.He said further, today, I had said its up to him ( would we stay married as I demand affection and passion in my marriage), I said yes, he said yes let it be like that and leave it there.But why would he say to me without promise? that made me feel scared, unsafe and hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted January 1, 2011 Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Not sure what to say... but I feel UR pain... sorry U are hurting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadgreeneyes Posted January 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2011 Seems like my needs and feelings are invalidated and not recognized. Getting double messages. Only confusion, sadness and fear. I´m seriously thinking is he a verbal abuser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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